Please help Im about to lose my mind....fighting about money/chores

So this will be long because I seriously need to vent...I apologize in advance

My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year. We moved in together about 3 months ago and that's when things started getting tense. He is 23 and just finished 6 years in the army. He has been in the reserves since October 2013. I am 26 and a RN.

Okay so here is the problem. He is absolutely horrible with money. About a month ago he lost his job and decided to go to school, which I couldnt be happier for him! He found out that he would get military benefits that would pay for his schooling and also give him a monthly stipend that would cover his bills leaving him about $70 for gas and other things for the month. We split the bills evenly and things have been fine until yesterday when he told me that he wouldnt actually have the money for another 4-5 weeks. You know because rent is due on the first I've been asking him to find out and of course he waits until the last minute and now I have to cover all our bills and his gas.

He says "dont you have money saved? you can just cover it until I get paid." This almost put me over the edge and I'll explain why...I have been saving since August for a trip Im taking at the end of April. I've been doing the Dave Ramsey get out of debt plan and everything. Im pretty angry that he just expects me to give him the money because I have it saved when he has blown all his. He asks for "help" enough that it isnt rare. Now mind you its $20 bucks here or there which I really dont mind but I do mind that he doesnt plan for the future . He expects me to just take care of it because I have been responsible.

On top of the not having money right now he also decided that he doesnt need a job because the military will give him the monthly stipend. Which Im pretty sure $70 isnt enough for his other expenses but whatever. He stays home all day playing videogames or hanging out at his friends. I come home have to clean the apartment because it is trashed. I am resentful that I go to work five days a week and when I come home or on my day off I spend it cleaning up after his mess he's made.

I love him and other than the housework, which is always an issue, we are pretty happy and dont fight. I just feel like his priorities are screwed up and he's lazy at times. He thinks I'm mad at him because I have debt and have to work. I just want him to try to see things from my perspective instead of just expecting me to fix things because he feels like the world is coming down on top of him...well hey its not just you, its my rent too.

Ugh Im definitely being a little bit of a about it but I just dont know how to make him understand my feelings without putting him on the defensive.

Umm, he should be defensive. $70 bucks will not cover gas, bills, food for a month. He needs to get a job.

Where is the rent $ coming from?

You are dating a boy, not a man. Video games instead of a job?

Askiing your gf for $20 more often than not?

You have basically started subsidizing him....mom.

Sounds like you are almost enabling him to continue doing these things.

I get it he's going to be going to school but, he isnt living at mom and dads and going to school -- he is an adult with bills to pay -- he needs to get a job.

Next time he asks you for money, say no. Cover what needs to be covered, but tell him once his money is in he needs to pay you back the his half that you covered. If he doesnt. He has to cover all of the next months rent and expensive to make up for the half the half u had to cover because he didnt have the money.

Now mind you its $20 bucks here or there which I really dont mind but I do mind that he doesnt plan for the future . He expects me to just take care of it because I have been responsible.

You are teaching him that this is OK and yes, it was only a matter of time before he escalated it to higher amounts and bigger ticket items. As the above poster said, stop subsidizing him and acting like his mom. You should be angry and yes, you do need to sit his butt down and explain to him that if doesn't produce rent on time and start pulling his weight on chores, you'll be parting company. Who cares if he gets defensive or upset - he should be both. Next time he asks you even for a dollar laugh and tell him you are not his mommy and daddy.

Is this the first man you've moved in with?

You get to see the real person once you move in with them. You are seeing the real him. It's not your job to teach him to be more responsible or to contribute more, to have more ambition or whatever. What you see is what you get. Now is the time to decide if this is what you want for the longterm.