Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 15

Thread: I told him I loved him and he didn't say it back? Is this over?

  1. #1
    I'mNotYourBabe
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    922

    I told him I loved him and he didn't say it back? Is this over?

    My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 6 months and we spend a lot of time together. Almost every night after work and on the weekends sometimes..and we have a good time together. While we were in bed one night I told him I was in love with him...because well I am. He didn't say it back, he hugged me and held me through the night. That was almost 2 weeks ago and I started to feel bad about it because he didn't say it back. We talked about it last night and he said he isn't there yet and that it doesn't mean he won't ever get there but he doesn't feel that way yet. He said very rarely in a relationship do two people have the same exact feeling for each other at the same exact time. I feel weird now, like maybe I shouldn't have said anything, that I shouldn't have told him I love him. I have been reading online that women shouldn't say I love you first..men should because now the relationship is not even and one person has more power and that the woman should wait until the man professes his love...

    Does this mean our relationship isn't going good?

  2. #2
    DN

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    42,515
    No, it doesn't mean it's over and the people who say women shouldn't say it first are wrong. Hang in there.

  3. #3
    itsallgrand
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    15,005
    I agree with DN.

    And I don't think you should feel bad. You have been together 6 months, you say. That's a perfectly reasonable time to feel that and say that. You were honest about your feelings, and I think that is awesome.

    Your bf was honest with you too. It may have not been what you wanted to hear, and that is very understandable, but I think it is pretty cool that he was honest with you at the risk of upsetting you or other things. Some people would have just said it, even if they didn't feel it.

    Do you feel the relationship is good over all?

    Then it becomes a matter of how long you feel is ok for you to be in this relationship without your bf feeling he is in love with you. That is up to you.

    I think at 6 months it would have been foolish to just sit and wait and hope to hear it from the man. Better to know how he feels and to put your cards out there at that point, otherwise what kind of relationship is it anyways?

  4. #4
    Sparkly Eyes

    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    4,935
    Gender
    Female
    Do you know when he said that in his last relationships?

    I couldn't say your relationship is going without knowing his type of personality. If I were you tho, I would act a little more casual now.

  5. #5
    I'mNotYourBabe
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    922
    He said it varied with each relationship, he said when we first started dating that he usually doesn't say it before a year....I guess I thought I was different or that we were getting along really well. Last night he said he cared about me a lot. I asked him if we were moving too fast and he said no but he did not expect me to day I LOVE YOU when I did. I thought maybe he is just not that into me. I mean I don't know how long I should wait for him to say it and I don't want to "act" any certain way like casual...I want to be who I am in this relationship and be myself. I don't like acting a certain way...if I can't be myself I would rather not be in a relationship at all.

  6. #6
    Sparkly Eyes

    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    4,935
    Gender
    Female
    Well, Are you gonna tell him you love him again and not hear it back?! Wouldn't that be being yourself?

  7. #7
    I'mNotYourBabe
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    922
    Well thats sorta why I was asking is this over? I don't even know how this works because in the past my boyfriends would say it right away. I don't know whats good or bad...I was trying to get some insight from you guys, from your experience.

  8. #8
    Case_1983
    Bronze Member Case_1983's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Germany
    Age
    33
    Posts
    264
    Gender
    Female
    How has his behaviour been after that night? The same? better? Has he been more distant? Does he ask you to come spend the night at his house or is it you that initiates it?

  9. #9
    I'mNotYourBabe
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    922
    Everything has been the same since I said it. Sorta better I guess. He calls me he spends time with me all that.

  10. #10
    Case_1983
    Bronze Member Case_1983's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Germany
    Age
    33
    Posts
    264
    Gender
    Female
    I would give it another 6 months.. i wouldnt say it again until he says it. I was in a relatiosnhip for 3.5 years when i was 21-24. I was worried after 1.5 years when he hadnt said i love you. I sat him one day and pretty much forced him to talk about his feelings, said i thought he didnt feel the same as me and then he finally said it. Im quite sure he said it to shut me up. After that it was easy for him to say, like saying Bless you when i sneezed.. lol
    In the end i broke up with him because i always had the feeling his heart wasnt in it. Though he stayed with me...

  11.  

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Top Threads
Dated, broke up, reconciled, had a relationship, now dumped again
I took a hiatus from this site because in the past year or so, I made so many bad decisions that I felt I could no longer, in good conscience, offer
Ladies...Help please! Is my girl losing intrest or is she really busy?
Hey friends. I'd really appreciate some female advice here. We've been together for 7 months. I am 34, shes 25 and haven't been the best
HELP Am I in a relationship but still in love with my ex? Cant figure it out!
Okay yall here we go. Please bare with meI do tell a good story though so yea, cuz my life is a ing mess lmao OK! So I am currently in a
One-way relationship
Hello :) I have a little dilemma and I would really appreciate some of your thoughts and advice you have to offer. I have been in a relationship
GF Won't change FB Relationship Status - I don't understand why.
Hello, I've never posted online about this kind of stuff before but I'm having a really odd situation and not sure what to do... Been with my
Advice please
Hi i have been with my boyfriend for over four years now and we are both in our 40s , everything we have a disagreement he blocks me on whatsapp and
Ex GF messaged me 3 days after break-up
My ex girlfriend i really loved dumped me on Monday for being really clingy and needy. She acted really cold and didn't want to talk to me that day

Featured Threads
What eNotAlone gave you?
I wonder mostly about long-time members who decided to be a part of this community. Has this forum enriched your lives, and if so, in what
How to end things with him
Ive been dating this guy for 2 months. In the beginning he was very sweet and romantic, however I learned in the last month or so that he is
My ex bf told me he wants sex, nudes and me to loan him money until he's stable... Should I lend $?
Hello.. I am 22 I met my ex bf (21) 3 years ago in college. He dropped out of college after the first semester.. he didn't go to finals. He stayed in
How Should I have handled it?
My GF and I were together for about 5 months. Things were great except for some of my questioning her online activity which challenged her. All
My Ex Husband still berates me
Hello, first off I am not sure why I am on a forum but.. I need an anonymous outlet I guess because my friends and family all say the same thing
Yall ready for a messed up one...
Okay, so i cheated on my bf about 6 month ms into our relationship with a guy 20 years older then me at our work. And it was a rule that it was only
Im at a really bad state of mind right now
Its been a little over the month since the breakup, since then, hes messaged me 2-3 times about random topics (that I dont care about), and has
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •