Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 20

Thread: Three sum sex in long term relationships?

  1. #1
    phishy_go_swim
    Member phishy_go_swim's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    California
    Posts
    29
    Gender
    Female

    Three sum sex in long term relationships?

    Alright I do not like the idea of My boyfriend and I having a three sum with another girl.I just could never get turned on by that and in truth watching the person who I love more than anything with another girl would break my heart and make me sick. I won't do it. But he likes the idea of being with me and another girl and I just don't get it.Especially considering that I have asked him if he would like to see another guy having sex with me and how that would make him feel and he got upset in the same manner that I have when he has presented the issue.I was just wondering if anyone knew any happy loving relationships that have been able to have Multiple parters at once and lasted.

  2. #2
    musicguy
    Platinum Member musicguy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Heroic Ink Tattoos and Piercings
    Age
    37
    Posts
    3,666
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    2
    if you don't want to have a 3-sum, then don't do it. If he gets upset if you wanted to have a 3sum with 2 guys and you're upset if he wants a 3sum with 2 girls, then this fantasy of his isn't gonna go anywhere.

  3. #3
    PeanutButter

    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    1,314
    Gender
    Female
    haha its almost as if he wants to cheat, or hes just not pleased enough in bed that he really wants this. that sucks.

    everyone has their own opinions but i believe a girl giving into this has no respect for herself. the guy has no respect for his relationship or significant other. FANTASY OR NOT. you can have a three some in a not so serious relationship if its that much of a fantasy bullsh-t if theres a difference of being in love with one person. if your truly in love than you just wouldn't see another girl in the picture.

    you look young in your picture and gorgeous, dont give into his stupidness. for most guys i hear its a turn off for a girl to have done a three some.

    good luck chica!=]

    and i agree, if you DONT want to, dont give in.

  4. #4
    -Ophelia-
    Silver Member -Ophelia-'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Age
    35
    Posts
    358
    Gender
    Female
    Having a threesome is not a sign of a healthy relationship. My honest opinion is that since these are your views on threesomes, then you don't need a man who is being disrespectful to you by vocing these fantasies and actually asking you to act upon them.

    I agree with peanutbutter, asking for a threesome is like asking for permission to cheat. Because who knows, one day you might walk in on them fooling around and his defense will be "babe, you told me I can do it!"

    You know how to tell right from wrong, and for your own sanity, reevaluate the relationship.

  5. #5
    tylercdurden2004
    Platinum Member tylercdurden2004's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Middle East
    Age
    40
    Posts
    3,612
    Gender
    Male
    If you dont want to then dont.

    Some couple try to incorprate this into their regular sex life it rarely leads to a healthy long term monogamous relationship.

    Its something you really have to want and even then its not always what you expect.

    Using probability: You're not that interested in it. Even if you were its 50/50 at best that it works out.

    you definitely have less than 50% chance of pulling this off. Probably around 10% or less as an uneducated guess.

  6. #6
    fmjosie
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Canada
    Age
    36
    Posts
    153
    Gender
    Female
    Yup, you gave your thoughts on the idea, so he should drop it. Tell him if your view on the subject ever change, you will let him know.... but don't hold his breath. If you're not into girls, or don't think you would benefit from having one in the bedroom, then there's no point in having a threesome.

    to be honest though, the chances of you or him ever even finding a girl to join you is slim to none.

    I personally don't have a problem with threesomes, FFM only. It's a double standard that makes sense to me.

  7. #7
    agent
    Super Moderator agent's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    England
    Age
    33
    Posts
    10,103
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1326
    I was just wondering if anyone knew any happy loving relationships that have been able to have Multiple parters at once and lasted.
    Yes. But the important factor in them was that all the people involved were into that kind of thing to begin with and weren't doing something to please their partner that made them upset, uncomfortable or unsecure in the relationship.

  8. #8
    russ978
    Gold Member russ978's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Age
    34
    Posts
    805
    Quote Originally Posted by tylercdurden2004 [Register to see the link]
    If you dont want to then dont.

    Some couple try to incorprate this into their regular sex life it rarely leads to a healthy long term monogamous relationship.
    Tyler has this one on the money. If he isn't down with the 2 guys threesome, draw the analogy that you feel the same way about the threesome with two girls. If he still pushes it, just tell him that it isn't something that is going to happen and tell him why you feel it shouldn't (it makes you feel like you don't satisfy him, it makes you feel like you aren't enough, it would make you worry that he wanted to sleep with other women all the time, etc...) I'm sure that he'll have all sorts of excuses about how he loves you and just wants 'the experience' and 'only wants you' but don't fall for it. Just stick to your guns and it will likely be a conversation where you'd have to say the same thing 20+times.

    Sure, it is the typical male (and many females) fantasy but this is one that is best left as a fantasy in my opinion. Some relationships can hold up under it but I haven't heard of many threesome experiences improving a relationship's strength, trust, of faithfullness.

    Don't do it if you value your relationship.

  9. #9
    musicguy
    Platinum Member musicguy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Heroic Ink Tattoos and Piercings
    Age
    37
    Posts
    3,666
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    2
    3somes are usually a no strings attached kinda thing, unless there are no attached feelings between both partners than it's fine, but usually they end up breaking up a long term relationship and usually one gets hurt, at times it's the girlfriend who ends up getting hurt

  10. #10
    ghost69
    Platinum Member ghost69's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Desert
    Posts
    33,101
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    3
    he is getting to sleep with another girl and your disposal. not good if you aren't comfortable with it. would i have one? yes of course i would. almost did a couple of times actually. but i would not have one with a girl i was in a relationship with.

  11.  

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Top Threads
Is my partner's behavior acceptable?
I'm at a loss for words in regards to my partner's recent behavior. Part of me feels responsible for the chain of events that have occurred. Long
Am I crazy?
I've lived with the same man for 16 years. He proposed after 7 years but we have had financial difficulties after I fell ill that have prevented us
#does love really last
So I decided to use a blog because I cant trust anyone around me enough to share my personal feelings without it getting thrown back in my
Is that marriage dead already?
Hello everybody, I am currently a bit desperate as I do not know what I shall do. Maybe to add, I was coming from a very destroying relationship
difficult communication is destroying our marriage
Hello everyone. I'm 47 and have been married for 27 years. I grew up in England and moved to Greece when I was 18, following a holiday romance
5 year Marriage a Mess because of me
Some of you may remember me as i have posted previously me and my husband have only ever argued about one thing...his family. I have continuously
Ten Years Possibly Gone
Before I begin with my problems I want to give a little back story first. My fiance and I have been together since teenagers. We have had our ups and
Featured Threads
Weird crazy breakup
Here goes. We was together 4 and a half years, lived together for the most of that with her grandparents, yeah moved in pretty quick because of
is my bf racist? is there a future?
I am a bit dumbfounded and confused.. pls comment.. I have been dating my bf for 3 years. I look asian and he looks european. Things have not always
Great conversation but she Ghosted me?!
When I asked for her phone number, she kinda looked at me (the really dude? face). I knew it was over, but seriously it bothers me that we had a
My Girlfriend's Extreme Anger and Dramatic Behavior Are Ruining Our Relationship
This is gonna be a long one. Bear with me.. Okay, so this is my absolute first post on any forum ever. I am a 21 year old male, and I am currently in
Wrapping your head around an incurable condition
How does one do that ? While my condition is not fatal it is incurable and my life quality will steadily deteriorate over time. Most possible will
My mom kept a secret for 28 years
I'm 28 years old, my mom always told me to not sleep around, said she never slept w anyone till she got married, etc. well randomly tonight she tells
Confusing relationship with ex
So my ex and I broke up about 3 months ago. There was a lot of hurt, I was really depressed for the first weeks until I got back on my feet and
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •