-Sanguine- Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 When someone you care about is non-responsive, ie: one word answers, unenthusiastic, seems like something is bothering them, etc. does that make you want to keep pushing contact or back off? Link to comment
waveseer Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 It makes me want to help them so I offer to hear them out when they're ready and then I back off because the message they are sending is 'leave me alone'. Link to comment
90_hour_sleep Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 hey, i think there's a difference between ''leave me alone because i want to be left alone'' and ''leave me alone because i don't know how to communicate with you''. i see two possibilities here: 1. he's never learned how to engage in open, meaningful communication...with anyone. his defences are up...and he just doesn't feel safe enough to really let anyone in. somewhere along the course of his life he was hurt, and his only goal is to prevent that from happening again. 2. he feels threatened by you in some way. perhaps he feels like he's being attacked. in either case, the key is to invite him to share with you. he has to feel that he won't be judged in any way...that you'll accept his perspective...regardless of whether or not you agree with it. it is his. are you emotional when you try to talk to him? is your tone at all accusatory? Link to comment
-Sanguine- Posted October 8, 2009 Author Share Posted October 8, 2009 there's nothing really going on right now I was just curious but thanks, I know stuff like this does happen between us at times, so your advice will definitely help. I THINK I'm very welcoming and non-judging, but I don't know how he percieves it. I was even just talking about people in general, though, like how they respond to someone who is being non-responsive. Link to comment
90_hour_sleep Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 there's nothing really going on right now I was just curious but thanks, I know stuff like this does happen between us at times, so your advice will definitely help. I THINK I'm very welcoming and non-judging, but I don't know how he percieves it. I was even just talking about people in general, though, like how they respond to someone who is being non-responsive. fair enough. never a bad time to start communicating better. even better if you're on good terms already. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 After trying a few times, I would probably back off because I would be under the impression that they are not interested and I would leave it to them to make contact with me, IF they were interested in seeing me. Link to comment
-Sanguine- Posted October 8, 2009 Author Share Posted October 8, 2009 Seems common, to try once or twice then back off and leave it to them Sometimes I worry that when others are non-responsive to me, it is really a cry for help and they want the attention. But then how do you know whether you are crossing a line? Link to comment
looscroo Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 Personally, it drives me nuts!!! I push maybe too hard to figure out what's up. For sake of my own sanity. Link to comment
lady00 Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 If this happened to me, I would definitely back off. When someone wants to communicate, they do. If they don't want to I'm not going to push it. I think that generally makes things worse. Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 I would probably push it a few times, and then let it go. I'm sure if they really wanted me to know, they will eventually let me know. Link to comment
Sweetiepie91 Posted November 21, 2009 Share Posted November 21, 2009 Ive pushed to hard a couple of times, and the only effect it has on the other person is suffocating them with love. Its important to let them know that your around when they need you , but then back off this is extremely effective with guys who tend to isolate themselves, and retreat to there man caves when facing issues or needing away time. x Link to comment
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