MissCanuck

This. Having her come along with the parents is not a good idea. Arrange something separate for you two to do alone, OP.

OP, how old are you? What part of the world are you in? Your answers to these questions may help us better guide you and steer you towards available local resources.

What is it you expect her to say that will give you closure? She has already ended your relationship and is effectively seeing her ex again. I don't get what more to need to hear to understand that your relationship with her is over. I know it's hard to let go and you're now scrambling for any sign of hope, but you have got to stop putting yourself through this. You will prolong your own pain (and your eventual healing) if you don't.

You screwed up. You promised not to tell anyone, and you went ahead and did it anyway. That was not cool, despite how close you think your brother is to this person. It was not your place. Your opinion would be just as biased. Dude. I get where you are coming from, but really? That was a pretty rude thing for you to say. That isn't what happened here. He is upset that you broke your promise not to tell anyone. That's reasonable. I don't see why you have a problem with this. Looked, you goofed and now you're mad that he called you out on it. He's being extreme with worrying what your hypothetical wife might do, yes. But you also could use a dose of accountability here, which I don't see at all in your post.

So, go and live your relationship. You don't need to convince us that she is great. If you believe that to be true, have at it. Good luck.

Nope, I woudln't pass "Go" with this guy. He lied more than once, and didn't come clean. You found out on your own and had to confront him about it. I wouldn't bother trying to build trust with someone who lies right to my face for their own gain, right out of the gate. Next.

What is your point? It's okay because it doesn't happen 24 hours a day?

Yes, of course. My comment was a rhetorical one.

Exactly. It's awfully rich that she is trying to control your decisions here and in the same breath tells you to think for yourself. I can't believe you put up with this garbage.

The important factor here is you're recognizing that your professional life and your personal life are out of balance. Now you can take steps to address it. My dear cousin failed to do so, and was shocked when the day came that his wife told him she wanted a divorce. Even my cousin's own mother tried to warn him that he was short-changing his family (his then-wife and their daughter), but he didn't really seem to get it until it was too late. Their divorce was finalized a couple years ago, and he's with a new partner now. I have noticed that he seems to have found a better balance but it came with a significant cost to his personal life and emotional well-being for a while there.

With respect, I think you might seek out some professional help. It is normal to be moved by these stories and to experience sadness, but the degree to which this is now interfering with your day-to-day life is concerning. It might signal something deeper going on inside you, in other words.

It's been a year, though. It's not "right away." This guy is not the right one for you. He doesn't feel the way you do, and he doesn't know how to tell you that directly. But his choices of words tell you what you need to know.

This is just not realistic right now. You have to get real with yourself, man. It is not possible to try to be friends when you still have feelings for her. Maybe someday once you have moved on it could be possible, but at this time, it's a fool's errand.

Yes, please take the lesson here. You are rubbing salt in your own wounds.

Well, it makes sense. You didn't want this break-up and are desperate to stay in her life in some way. She is able to compartmentalize because she doesn't have the same sense of desperation or fear of loss hanging over her. She's got both you and her ex vying for her time and attention, so she's relaxed. She can pick whomever she wants here so she doesn't need to put things out of her mind, so to speak. That would suggest she is in pain, but she's clearly not. You can't. You are seeing why that doesn't really work. This why we have been telling you that staying close to her is not a good idea right now. It stings when these scenarios don't play out the way you hoped. Please reconsider being her surrogate boyfriend.