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  • Olivia Sanders
    Olivia Sanders

    Signs You – Not Him – Are The Toxic One In The Relationship

    We all want to be in a healthy relationship, but sometimes life throws unexpected obstacles at us. Oftentimes, those obstacles cause strife between even the closest of couples. It can be hard to tell who is the toxic one in the equation when trying to reconcile differences. Is it him? Or, could it instead be you? To help navigate such a difficult situation, here are some signs that you and not him may be the toxic one in the relationship.

    Maybe you have unhealthy communication habits. Do arguments with your significant other feel like a never-ending loop? Conflict resolution can be challenging, but if you find yourself using the same old excuses and lines during an argument, you may be the one causing unpleasantness in the relationship. This could include behavior like lashing out in anger or snapping harsh words toward your partner.

    Perhaps you always assume the worst. If it feels like doom and gloom is constantly surrounding your romance, then it is possible you are contributing to the repeated negative cycle. Such a habit of assuming that any worst case scenario is going to happen in the relationship will only make it worse.

    You may also put more emphasis on the negative than on the positive. If it appears that you are more apt to remember the bad moments in your romance versus the good ones, that could be a sign you might be the toxic person in the relationship. Such a mindset leads to often overlooking the positive and attributing it as luck or well-timed coincidence, due to your skewed scan of the relationship.

    In addition, if you constitute blame as frequently as your significant other breathes, then you may be the poison casting a pall on the entire atmosphere. Simply put, this kind of behavior does not get better or stronger over time. Instead, it causes resentment, animosity and feelings of unfairness.

    Another indicator that you could be the problematic person in the relationship is if you make excuses for yourself whereas you would likely not do the same for your significant other. Being able to recognize the wrongdoings of your partner and holding them accountable is only fair – and necessary – in a healthy relationship. Refusing to acknowledge when you are wrong is just another way of being toxic.

    It's never easy to face truths that may be detrimental to all involved, but doing so may be the key to a more fulfilled relationship. Identifying these signs and then taking steps towards changing your behaviors can ultimately lead both you and your partner to healthier, happier romance.

    Attempting to point fingers can be a dangerous path, as relationships can become mangled in an effort to assign blame. That said, understanding that it could be you and not your partner who is the toxic one in the relationship could point you in the direction of improvement.

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