The green-eyed monster. He has crept his way into many a relationship. He needn’t be invited; he arrives of his own accord, often stealthily and always cunningly. The jealous monster always seems to linger, holding on with a fierce grip that no one can seem to shake.
But it is possible, with effort – and even more so, love - to send the green-eyed monster away, or at least to keep it in check.
Rather than try and merely suppress the feelings of jealousy rising within us like a festering wound, the first thing to be done to curb jealousy is to simply acknowledge and accept its presence. Acknowledge it and have an honest conversation with yourself on why you’re feeling jealous. Is it due to personal insecurities? Of past experiences or of present situation? Own up to the murky depths of your personal emotions and be prepared to take steps towards understanding and accepting them.
Having gone through this process to better know yourself, it’s now time to bring curiosity into the equation and reach out to your partner to gain a better understanding of what’s causing their behavior that's seemingly sparking your jealousy. Remember, no one is perfect and avoid being judgemental of your partner’s behavior.
Communication is perhaps the most essential weapon in the battle to silence the growing roar of the green-eyed monster and taking a proactive step such as this helps to build trust, familiarity and thus healthy relationships.
Set clear boundaries with yourself and with your partner. Boundaries that are comfortable to both parties and ensure each facet of your relationship will continue to flourish, grows and evolves. Respect these boundaries and be sure to communicate if there are any changes needed.
Often our fears and worrisome insecurities manifest themselves in jealousy and understanding how best to manage these emotions and devising strategies to get past them are key. Engaging in activities that promote self-care and understanding, such as mindfulness and daily affirmations, setting goals for yourself and embracing your vulnerabilities are all helpful methods to tame the green-eyed monster from within.
Above all, cultivating a sense of gratitude for all that we already have truly helps us to become more mindful and responsive rather than reactive to any potential or false perceptions of a partner’s actions which could result in another bout of intense jealously.
This is perhaps the most important aspect in stepping out of jealousy’s invitingly comfortable but, ultimately, destructive embrace. Focusing all your energies on loving your partner, yourself and your overall life in a positive and appreciative way, the green-eyed monster’s presence diminishes to an almost imperceptible level.
It’s not easy to wave goodbye to the green-eyed monster but with a little extra effort and unconditional love, it is a reality that can be achieved.
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