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  • Paula Thompson
    Paula Thompson

    Dealing with a Tough Situation when Both Friendship and Romantic Love are On the Line

    Dealing with the dilemma of whether to pursue a friendship or take a chance on a potential romantic relationship with someone for whom you have feelings can be an incredibly difficult situation. It can easily seem as if a decision must be made between two options, both of which may be appealing in different ways. In honesty, no one but you can make the decision that is right for the situation; but there are some answers to this scenario worth considering.

    The first thing to do is consider how happy the existing friendship makes you, and then compare it to the idea of the potential romantic relationship. Are these two things equally balanced, or does one feel more favorable to you than the other? Bonus points might be awarded for considering whether there is any middle ground between the two, such as continuing the friendship in a different capacity while exploring what the other side could offer.

    When it comes to confessing your feelings, the amount by which it might affect the friendship depends on a few things. Maybe they end up returning the sentiment and a shy excitement passes between you, where it becomes an even stronger friendship. Or, maybe you end up hurting them if they have feelings for someone else, or if they don't share your level of interest. It is important to remember that no matter the outcome, being honest is always the best policy – and being honest while also being respectful and compassionate will do far more good than harm. As a gesture of kindness and respect, try to understand and accept their response, whatever it may be.

    Don’t react immediately when making a decision about a relationship vs. a friendship in this situation – consider how you will feel in the long run. Making decisions out of impulse can be greatly damaging and regretful, so proceed with caution.

    Go forth in courage, and do whatever your heart tells you – because only you know what is best for you in the end. If matters can not be solved mutually between the two involved people and all peace has been lost, use resources available to you, such as confiding in family, friends, and authorities if needed. Should everything turn out the way you wanted, continue doing research and learning more in order to properly nurture and maintain the bond going forward.

    Both friendships and romantic relationships can, and will, bring joy and enrichment during all stages of life. Whatever you decide, it is important to trust yourself and be comfortable with the outcome. After considering all the options and advice, go forward in confidence and never give up on the one you truly love. Good luck!

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