How Do I Heal After a Broken Heart?

Dear eNotAlone: My heart is so broken I'm wondering if it will ever heal -– let alone be mended. The other day I was walking alone along the beach, the waves crashing in rhythm with my desperate pain. I heard a little voice in my mind asking: am I destined to remain hurt and wounded forever?

I met him almost three years ago. Little did I know that our lives were about to become entangled, that we were about to enter into a passionate, seductive dance, one so filled with love and desire that I would never be the same. We were two unique, beautiful souls that came crashing together like a wave against the shore and I clung to the intensity of it, allowing it to carry me away on its currents out of control.

The bliss we shared didn't last forever. Over time, what began as an exciting adventure eventually spiralled into something else: bittersweet sorrow, hurt, and distrust. He became someone I no longer recognised, as if all of his charm, beauty, and charisma had suddenly vanished and all that remained was darkness and doubt. We fought viciously, all our anger, frustration and mistrust bubbling to the surface. Our relationship came crashing down around us like a thunderous, dark storm until there was nothing left.

I'm now left with so many unanswered questions and a broken heart that just won't seem to heal. How do I begin to patch the cracks that our relationship left in my soul? Will I ever learn to trust again after having my faith so utterly shattered? Will I be able to look upon love in the same way I once did, with reverence and sweet joy?

* * *

When your heart is broken, it can feel like nothing can heal that kind of deep pain. However, it is possible to mend the pieces of your broken heart and open up to love again.

Firstly, it's important to take some time for yourself to fully process the impact of the events that have occurred. This time should be free from judgement and harsh self-criticism—consider it an opportunity to nurture and love yourself. Journaling can be especially helpful here, as you can use it as an outlet to confront any repressed emotions. You can also try speaking with a therapist or trusted confidant who can provide space and understanding while you navigate these tumultuous waters.

Once you have identified the source of your pain and taken the necessary steps to confront it, it's time to start rebuilding your inner strength and courage. One of the best ways to do this is to practice self-care. Activities such as meditation, yoga, and reading can all help to instill a calmer, more balanced state of being. make sure to prioritize healthy lifestyle habits like regular exercise, nourishing meals and sufficient rest.

In your healing process, it may also prove beneficial to set small goals for yourself and commit to them on a daily basis. Studies show that regularly meeting small goals can not only cultivate feelings of satisfaction and accomplishment, but also bolster your faith in yourself.

As you move forward it is important to remember that setbacks will occur and challenges will arise. The most important thing is to remind yourself that you are strong and capable of overcoming them. When faced with hardships, look back at all you've previously achieved and the progress you've made in your journey. This will reassure you that, just as you were able to heal from past traumas, you can heal from this one too.