Five Reasons You’re Struggling to Move on From Heartbreak

When it comes to recovering from heartbreak, everyone wants to move on as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, it's often not that straightforward because there are a number of factors impacting our ability to heal. A breakup can be traumatic, leaving us feeling overwhelmed, disempowered and downright miserable. We know that time heals all wounds but understanding the five key reasons we're struggling to process and heal from our heartbreak can help us to make better sense of why it feels so hard.

Reason 1: Believing That Recovery Equals Moving on and Forgetting

The first and foremost reason why it can seem impossible to move on is believing that the only way to recover from heartbreak is to forget about it completely. This isn't necessarily true. The reality is that recovery involves recognizing and managing our feelings, processing our experience and learning how to feel empowered again.

Reason 2: Underestimating the Impact of Heartbreak

Under-estimating the impact of heartbreak can be another barrier to moving on. After a breakup, it is normal to feel depressed, anxious, and disoriented. But the effects of a broken heart may extend well beyond what you initially realize, including profound questions such as "Who am I without this person?" There may be difficulty establishing or re-establishing trust in a new relationship, as well as difficulty trusting yourself.

Reason 3: Being Unfocused and Overwhelmed

It can be difficult to stay focused when attempting to recover from heartbreak because our emotions are taking over. We try to distract ourselves with work, activities, or other people as means to cope, but in the end, we never really find relief. As with any life crisis, it is important to focus on recovery for each part of your life, identifying what helps and hurts the healing process.

Reason 4: Getting Stuck in the Negative

Often we tell ourselves stories of why we are not worthy of being loved or why it must have been our fault that the relationship didn't succeed. This type of thinking hinders our ability to move on and opens us up to sinking into a depression or self-loathing spiral. Yes, it is important to recognize our mistakes and take responsibility for doing better in the future. But it is also important to acknowledge the aspects of the relationship that we enjoyed and to look for ways to remain open to more positive relationship experiences in the future.

Reason 5: Avoiding Painful Feelings

The final reason why we may be struggling to move on from heartbreak is avoiding painful feelings. Unfortunately, avoiding pain only serves to reinforce our fear of it. Instead of running away or numbing out, allow yourself to be vulnerable when you feel these feelings and embrace the idea that it is okay to be hurt and hurting. In the end, this will help you to process and move through the pain quicker rather than dragging out the misery.

Overall, it is natural to want to move on from heartbreak as quickly as possible. But by understanding the five key reasons why this may be difficult – believing that recovery equals moving on and forgetting, underestimating the impact of heartbreak, becoming unfocused and overwhelmed, getting stuck in the negative, and avoiding painful feelings – we can gain insight into why we're struggling and assess the best approaches for recovery.