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  • Paula Thompson
    Paula Thompson

    Breakup: Overcome Heartache and Rebuild Your Confidence

    Breakups can bring on an overwhelming wave of transitions. The end of a relationship can bring sadness, anxiety, confusion and intense waves of heartache. Whether the relationship lasted three weeks or three years, understanding how to cope effectively when it’s over is vitally important in order to heal and find success in the future. After all, if you want to move on and embrace life’s full potential, you need to take the time to process the situation and boost your self-esteem.

    When it comes to breaking up, the upheaval can be emotionally draining and never-ending. It’s likely that you’ll have moments where the old feelings have you wanting to reach out to your ex and rekindle the flame. But here’s the deal: allowing yourself to take the time to build a new kind of life and relationship with yourself is crucial to overcoming heartache and sorrow. Learning to tackle life head-on and discovering what works best for you is essential to being able to let go.

    Make Sure You're Processing The Situation

    You need to understand that breakups can be incredibly difficult because of how intertwined the two people become after a certain amount of time. Do yourself a favor and take the time to process the pain; don't rush into another relationship. Pour yourself into self-care and control the rate at which you progress—allowing yourself to experience and accept the hurt as you move onto the next stages of your life. Give it space and do whatever it takes to grieve the relationship – just make sure that you don't fall back in the same patterns.

    Understand That You Have Value

    Breakups can so easily shatter our sense of worth, leaving us feeling empty and abandoned; we become afraid to even attempt any new relationships. But the truth is, you have an abundance of value, regardless of who you're or aren't in a relationship with. Boosting your self-esteem and developing an independent sense of self worth are essential steps in not only getting over a breakup but also having the courage to get back out into the dating scene. Remember the person who ended it isn’t the ultimate say in your worth. The emotional connection between you and your partner may have been strong, but your independence and strength are still sources of self worth that you can draw from.

    Focus on Yourself

    If you have to erase everything that has to do with the breakup, like completely cutting off contact with your former partner, or getting rid of all reminders, then do it. You need to take this time to focus on yourself and focus on becoming your best self. Gain clarity in who you are and what you want, create new habits and rituals, throw yourself into activities that you love, and do the legwork towards achieving the goals you’ve long set aside.

    Be Gentle with Yourself

    Learn to be gentle with yourself. When breaking up, it’s easy to quickly slide into cycles of self-criticism and comparison. Learn to recognize and forgive yourself for mistakes without succumbing to pessimistic thinking. Also, make self-care a priority. Look for activities that bring a sense of joy and satisfaction into your life—not ones that will add to your stress level or keep your energy in an incessant loop of frustration

    Breakups can be chaotic, yet healing from these kinds of trauma is achievable. Find gratitude for the journey and remind yourself that there’s always something to be gained from every experience; it might take a really long time, but the effort will be totally worth it. It's intentional, active work to gain the insight, confidence, and resilience needed to push through periods of sadness. You will find yourself enjoying life again, sooner than you could ever imagine.

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