Please Read: My story of Hope

Hello ENA!

I hope everyone is having a lovely Friday I know people come on here a lot seeking advice and reading posts that are similar to their situation. I just wanted to take the time to share how amazing my life has been lately and give hope those that are struggling. It does get better, I really do promise you that! You guys have been so wonderful to me and my journey...it certainly has been a rocky one, but man has it been worth it.

Where to start? I guess an important thing to note was I was in a 5.5 year relationship with a man that I met in college. I (thought) he was the one. I was convinced I was going to spend the rest of my life with him. We had been through our ups and downs and even lived together for a year. There were a lot of sacrifices...mainly on my end (probably the demise of our relationship). Long story short, we broke up in January of this year.

I was devastated...I don't think there is a word in the dictionary that could describe the way I felt. I honestly was a shell of my existence. I didn't eat, didn't sleep, couldn't concentrate at work...it was beyond terrible. I couldn't imagine a life without him and it was like a knife ripping through my stomach at the realization that it was over. It was honestly the worst time period in my life. I was truly alone.

This went on for months...I turned to drinking and partying as a way to temporarily numb the pain...but every morning I would wake up and realize that my reality was not going away....it was time to face this. I started eating (healthier) again, started going to the gym a couple of days a week, started putting in the time and effort at work. I knew that I needed to work on myself for me to feel better again. I needed to love myself for me to feel love again. I knew this was not going to be an overnight process, but I knew I had to do this for myself or else I was going to continue to spiral out of control.

I did meet a couple of men in the meantime, one who I thought I could be serious with...but he had some serious skeletons in the closet so I knew it was best for me to let that go. And every time I would meet someone, I would remember that I needed to work on myself and that I needed to 100% happy with who I am before I could invite someone else into my life. I still had hopes that my ex would come back, but the more I worked on myself, the more that desire began to fade. I started to understand why we broke up, why things didn't work out. It really wasn't as "out of the blue" as I thought it was. We really weren't right for each other and there were a lot of things I was missing from our relationship that made me unhappy which caused us to fight. It was amazing time to reflect on that time of life and it gave me clarity on what I really wanted.

So here I am today! With all of the continued effort at work, I was promoted I am so blessed to be given this amazing opportunity with my company and I am really excited to continue to grow within the organization. Hard work really does pay off! I also am in a very happy and healthy relationship with a man that makes me feel so special. It is a pretty new relationship, we have only been together about 4 months, but what an amazing 4 months it has been. I didn't know what I was missing until I met my current boyfriend. He treats me with respect, he spends quality time with me, he doesn't just want to party all the time, my parents LOVE him, and he genuinely cares about me. I am so grateful that he is in my life and I am excited about our future together.

I really wanted to share this with you...when you feel like all hope is lost, when you feel like you have lost your purpose in life, bring your focus back to yourself. How can you better yourself, what do you want out of life? When you can answer those questions and chase the solutions, you will feel a million times better and regain your purpose. Break ups are really tough. It honestly was the worst thing I have ever gone through in my life. But out of the darkness, comes the most unexpected and beautiful light.

So if I can do this, you can too! You are strong, you are brave, you are courageous. All it takes is the will to make a change and you can create the most amazing life. I did it and you can too.

You are an amazing, wonderful and unique person, don't ever forget it

XOXO

- A

Happy to hear you are in a good place. Best of luck in your new relationship

Thanks for sharing! It's pretty awesome to know that if you actually LISTEN to the advice of others and APPLY that advice to your life, things can do a complete 180! Very happy to hear your story..congratulations on the promotion!

Great story thanks

This is a really great post, and I'm super happy for you! This is a tough time of the year to be dealing with a broken heart (not that it's ever fun), so thank you for posting this for those of us that need to be reminded of how to get over someone and that things can and will be better soon.

You are all so welcome!! I am glad I was able to share something positive...I know how hard this time can be, especially during the holidays...but I know that things will get better, time truly heals all things and YOU WILL find happiness.

I think it's important to note that during my healing process...which by the way, was NOT pretty at all (ask my family), I did not contact my ex. The day he broke up with me was the last time we ever spoke. I have to say it was one of the hardest things I have ever done...I had punched his number into my phone countless times, spent hours devising the perfect text message....but I never once clicked send. I spent nights crying wishing I could talk to him, wishing I could see him one last time. But I think because I stuck to NC, I was able to heal a little bit quicker and I wasn't reopening the wounds time and time again.

NC is imperative if you want your life back. Stick to it and you will feel better about yourself and you won't be feeling rejection all over again. It's definitely tough...I am not saying it's easy, but it is SO worth it. I am the happiest I have ever been

Cheers!

Thank you so much for posting. I'm currently in the beginning stages of this post break-up thing and still find it to be really really hard, especially accepting that he's with someone else. This gives me hope that one day it won't hurt as bad and I'll be ok, thanks again Also happy to hear you're in a healthy relationship and wish you all the best.

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Proud of you and your NC journey. Agreed, it is the hardest longest walk.

Congrats and happy holidays!!!

This is such an inspirational story. Me and my ex broke up 1 month ago and it still plays into my mind as to why BC I never really got a reason. He just told me he could do it anymore and left. I have two little girls so of course I have always felt like no one would want me with two kids, and when I met this guy he was so good to me. I Dont understand any of it, but he is now seeing someone els . He moved on really fast and that hurts, but there isn't anything I can do about it. I just wish I could meet someone who would never leave , I am such a good girl and have always treated men good, and I have always gotten the crappy end of it all. I am 26 years old and I'm getting older. Its so depressing. I wonder if I will be alone forever and it scares me so bad. I am so happy for you and that you found love again. I never wish the life I have now upon anyone.

Hi gsmith - first off, I am really sorry that you are going through this. I know that this has been very difficult! I have been there! Let me fell you a couple of things that I think may make you feel better. You have only been out of your relationship a month. If you saw me during that time you would be frightened lol! I am now 11 months out so I gave myself time to heal. You need to do the same! Right now everything feels so fresh so give it time. Secondly, you will receive the love you feel you deserve. You need to love yourself and your children and naturally you will find someone who mirrors that. But again, you need to give yourself time to heal your wounds. Take that man off your pedestal and get yourself back there! You are the most important person in your life. Have hope! And you will feel great things

Hello ENA and happy Friday!!!!

I know I haven't been on in about a month or so so I wanted to check in and I wasn't sure if anyone was interested in my update, but I thought I would come on and share.

Things have been going SOOO amazing for me I had the BEST holidays...they were really special and I got to ring in the new year with my boyfriend by my side in Montreal It was incredible.

2015 has been off to an awesome start as well. Work has been going great, been receiving positive feedback from senior management and peers for all my efforts. I just received word that I am going to be traveling more which I am really excited about as well!

In more of the relationship category (considering this is a relationship thread), I couldn't be happier with my man. He is thoughtful, generous, kind, loving, and really one of a kind. All the time we spend together, I am on cloud 9. He appreciates me and respects me which is so important. We are also on the same page with our ideals, values, and life goals. We have done some really fun things together and I have a feeling that is going to continue My parents and friends really love him too!

I just wanted to reiterate that things DO and WILL get better! You will get through this! Stay strong!

I'm glad I read this. It gives me hope. I can't foresee myself being over it by a year because it has been 8 months and I still hurt over him and miss him and love him. I'm scared to find out he is with someone else (and I'm the one who broke up with him because I knew he was toxic for me!!) it's getting quite ridiculous I'm afraid. But I'm doing stuff like saving up for a new place, trying to get more paid on my school loans, and I'm even going to get another degree (none of this I could do with him). I've just recently started going on casual dates, but I just don't feel like I'll be able to love again.