Breaking up with the one.

Hey guys, my second post about the same girl, but new issue. Basically this is the first time in my entire life I have been in love. I was in New York for the whole summer, the girl I fell for was from California. We knew each other because she lived in Ireland in my friend's house last year, so that is how I knew her, we reconnected and soon a very strong romance ensued. We talked every single day, never missed a day, she sent me about 65 selfies during the three months, and she flew over to NYC and we met up, and as you all can imagine, we had an amazing time. When she ran and jumped into my arms at Times Square, I fell in love with her and she felt the same way.

Fast forward two months, she comes to Ireland to work here for the year. As soon as she failed her exams which get her into law school, everything changed. She began to space herself and not wanting to hang out anymore. I cannot stress enough that I believe I have found the perfect girl, she never sleeps around, never makes out with guys at clubs, it's like I always knew her, could talk about anything, church on Sunday type of girl. Now before anyone brands me a weirdo or anything like that, I am as shocked as anyone, I was champion kickboxer and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, was one of the guys, had all the girls chasing me, was very popular in college, had a great life, and never fell for anyone. Essentially, I do not sleep around, all I want is that someone to love and her to do the same, a girlfriend. I was convinced I found the one, never 0.01% doubt that this would not work out. I began to enter a depressive episode where I literally cried everyday for four weeks, literally in the middle of lectures and everything, missed out on lots of college. I went to the doctor who put me onto a counsellor, and anti depressants. It began to turn into a real cat and mouse game with her not able to make up her mind, and then one day, I couldn't take it, I sent her a five page letter, putting all my emotions and feelings about her down on the page. I asked her what is up and why she is so distant. And then one day, I got a letter from her. The synopsis was that the things she said to me in bed in NYC were true then, but they are not true now. She said I do not have feelings for you in a romantic way, I know in my heart that I am not the one for you and you are not the one for me. She blamed what happened on alcohol (two glasses of Bailey's, give me a break) and not her emotions, God will provide clarity, she said the more she prayed it all became clear, that we do not work, (yet she said a few weeks ago we clicked). She says that as a Christian, she regrets getting physical to the extent that she did with me, (we did not have sex by the way). She said she does not like to engage in lustful acts (she dragged me back to her apartment in Dublin last year, and she dragged me back to my apartment in NYC) I feel like I have let the love of my life walk off, and I know that she is the only girl for me. I have lived 21 years and this is the first time it happened. I love her, and I cannot see myself with another person. I went to a party last night and there were multiple girls showing interest in me, but the only girl I wanted, and have ever wanted, is her. I feel she is the one, but everything changed when the pressure came on and she failed her exam. “People say there are plenty of fish in the sea, but when you meet that one girl, then there's only one”

I will literally go to California once a month if I have to. I love her so very much. Does anyone have any advise on how to move on, or is there any way of possibly winning her back ?

You're 21, and this is your first experience like this. But the one girl, if there was such a thing, would feel the same. It's not up to you to change her mind.

This is one girl. Don't focus on her in this way. It puts her off. It drives you nuts. And it holds you back from seeing and experiencing life and what life brings you fully. Be aware that your feelings come from you, not her. She triggers things in you, but they are yours. Become more focused and aware on what's going on inside of you and separate that from having really anything to do with her.

Detach. Allow yourself to gain wisdom from the experience. Life will go on. There will be others. You will be happy.