I'd like to get back with her. Do I contact her after a few weeks of no contact?

I’m having a problem with a ex, and I love this girl. We started talking back in December and became a couple on her birthday in March. She fell for me real quick and said the “L” word to me two months after we became a couple. Then we started to fight about what I thought was little things, her on the other hand thought were big things. She’d get upset with when she would text me asking to go for dinner but would already have plans and I wouldn’t respond with a “well let’s hangout after”. So she started thinking I never wanted to be with her. When I really did. Then we’d make plans a day or two later. Little after that I broke it off with her cause I didn’t like the fighting, and thought it wasn’t gonna change. When I broke it off she looked like I crushed her heart. So emotional , asking why are you doing this to me and she wanted to be with me. Little over a week later I started missing her as a person and the good times we had so I contacted her asking if she’d like to hangout with me for the day. She loves the zoo so I took her to one then had lunch out in Boston. During the day she reached for my hand to hold it. We had a good day. Then on the ride home later in the day she asked me to join her to a family cookout. I declined saying it would feel awkward for me since we are not together and that it was the first time seeing her after I broke it off. She got upset about that. Then the fighting came again about her not thinking I didn’t want her around. So she’d stop talking to me for a week. I said I can change and I thought I was spending a lot of time with her until recently. We went to a resturant with a few of our friends had a good time then later went back to her house. Two days later she got upset again cause I was cooking dinner for my family and she wanted to do something . Granted yes I should of invited her of done something after. Another week goes by of no talking, now she says we’re done and she hates the way I treat her. And that she works at a compony so she’s always on the computer so I would always send Facebook messages saying how I “missed her”. Important things she didn’t want to talk about in a message. A week later of no contact I sent her flowers to her work. Then messaged her if she got them. I got only a “yes” then “stop spending money one me”

I asked why and said it’s cause I missed her and wanted her back. She got mad and ended up blocking me on Facebook and saying “good bye” and “I hope you find happiness”. Now a week later a buddy told me that they were all having dinner at her place with her roommates and her ex bf was there. Granted he lives 2 hours away and cheated on her when they were together. I just don’t understand why she’s treating me like this. I’d never cheat. Please help! I realized I’ve fallen in live with her and said that to her weeks before the breaks up.

I’d do anything to change and want her back, but I don’t wanna chase and lose her forever.

I know I hurt her cause her heart was really into me, so I think she's putting up a block cause she's scared I'm gonna hurt her again.

I tend to agree with her. If someone treated me badly and dumped me, I wouldn't want them back. I think it best for you to respect her decision, learn the lesson, and treat women better in the future.

Whoa where in there says I treated her badly? I was so nice to her, never treated her badly

"Granted yes I should of invited her of done something after."

- No, you really don't owe her anything. She is craving for attention but you two are NOT together. You two need to realize this.

What you should be doing is focussing on WHY you two broke up and dealing with that. Not falling back into a routine of seeing each other, having harsh moments (feelings/arguments/backing off again).. then distance.

This is happening because nothing's been dealt with re: what caused this BU.

Now, you are 'chasing & begging' her, which is bothering her, so stop that.

She needs her time and her space to deal with HER own issue's & feelings.

Eww, her Ex shows up? Could YOU have been a rebound? Did they BU soon before you two started dating?

Back off...

If anything, she is confused, emotional and FAR from stable at this time.

So stop begging and leave her alone.

You may not of treated her badly but in her eyes you put her second when she should of been your main priority, it sounds like she did really love you because every time you argued she was trying to fight for you and get you to change it. I'm sorry but I think the worst part is you knew what the problems were but did nothing to change it, maybe you thought because she loved you so much she wouldn't actually leave. I should say that someone else is paying her the attention she asked you for on many occasions now. She's gone for now, if you can show her that your willing to change and if you truly are willing to to have her in your life then I would personally send one text stating your sorry and have realised that you didn't put her first and it was wrong and that you will learn now for future relationships and that she doesn't have to reply, if she responds to that negatively and doesn't even take time to think about it then it's over if however she replies positively then the rest is up to you. Actions speak louder than words. Good luck.

Joanne sounds like you have an idea of what's going on, and thank you for that! I myself am deeply in love with her. What do you think if I send her a text, but no response? That can be 50/50.

And begging? No not begging, just trying to be more confident in what's goin on.

Whoa where in there says I treated her badly? I was so nice to her, never treated her badly

Well, she said she didn't like the way you treated her so it was bad for her.

Another week goes by of no talking, now she says we’re done and she hates the way I treat her.

Treated her by with not hanging out as much as she wanted. She later told me that she wanted me around everyday.

Every day?

Can she not handle her time without you? Maybe she was wanting/expecting a bit much?

We can't always give ALL of our time to them. We DO need to have our own lives, still.

Yeah. Everyday. It showede how much she really fell for me, and when I declined one or two days a week that's when she felt bad/sad. It wasn't like that in the beginning but later on when it was getting serious.

I just want to see if we can meet in the middle, she's awesome to be around

If she wanted everyday and wouldn't meet in the middle, then you guys were not compatible.

We never really sat down an talked about stuff like that. She'd mostly just get upset about it and not talk to me for a bit.

Well, I think when you dump someone you pretty much end the opportunity to talk things out.

So my question is should I send her a message after no contact for a few weeks? Nothing mushy like "I miss you" but just a hello kind of text just to see how the situation is. Maybe she's missing me, but doesn't wanna text me

No, don't do something passive like a text. Give her a call and tell her you would like to meet with her and talk.

And what if she doesn't pick up? She'd never really picked up if I was going to say something to her. Instead I'd just send a quick text.

I'm just trying to describe her the best I can. As weird as her not liking when we're not together everyday I do want her back. I tried to hangout with a girl from work to just get a couple drinks, thought of her the whole time.

Then leave her a message. Texting doesn't take the same amount of courage. But you ended it so you should be willing to work.

I am willing to work it out 100% for this woman. Even though she ended it recently. She's has a bad past with ex boyfriends and not having much of a mother figure in her life. All her boyfriends cheated on her. She got mad and cried when her mother declined doing something with her on Mother's Day. I saw she was really hurt by it. Maybe to her I was just going to be another one of those ex's, and I was getting the brunt of it?

I just am thinking way to much like out of sight out of mind, and worst possible out come. She's mutal friends with my friends so it's gonna hard if we never see each other again.

I really believe you should make contact if you want her back before it is too late. No contact is to help both parties move on, I know people say it's also a chance for them to miss you but if there is another person involved, there is a distraction and she will move on if she hasnt already. You need to be friendly with her and remind her of the good times. If she wanted to spend more time with you I would personally say something like I didn't realise how much I enjoyed spending time with you until you were gone. You have to seem like you've moved on also yet miss the times you had or the times you regret not having. This is just want I would do personally. Hope your ok.

If your ex blocked you on FB that's a pretty bad sign. I almost wish my ex would have blocked me on there...it's too easy to keep checking up on them. If I were you I would definetely cool off for a while. Women like men who are in control of their emotions. Not acting crazy. The problem here is that it's a little too late for you to start showing her you love her. She doesn't believe you now. She probably thinks you only want her because you can't have her now. If you truly love her.....let her go. She knows how to find you if she wants to.

Then we started to fight about what I thought was little things, her on the other hand thought were big things. She’d get upset with when she would text me asking to go for dinner but would already have plans and I wouldn’t respond with a “well let’s hangout after”. So she started thinking I never wanted to be with her. When I really did. Then we’d make plans a day or two later. Little after that I broke it off with her cause I didn’t like the fighting, and thought it wasn’t gonna change. When I broke it off she looked like I crushed her heart. So emotional , asking why are you doing this to me and she wanted to be with me.

 

I myself am deeply in love with her.

Explain to me again why you broke up with her...it just seems strange..I mean being that you are so deeply in love with her and all.

And if you say it was because you were fighting all the time and it was bad, explain to me again why it is you want to get back together with someone you fight with constantly?

I felt like we never really talked to one another about out problems nor did she meet in the middle about stuff.

She'd get mad/sad when she wanted to be around me, and I'd say sorry cause id have plans already. Then the next day we'd do something together. She got tired of not spending everyday together. She mentioned she was needy and wanted to see me more.

After weeks of NC I realized that arguing wasn't so bad cause this thing between us is an easy fix. Hoping now that she can find herself and fixing her problem of neediness.

[After weeks of NC I realized that arguing wasn't so bad cause this thing between us is an easy fix. Hoping now that she can find herself and fixing her problem of neediness.

Unless you come up with a plan and address the issues you are returning to the exact same scenario. I am not seeing any of this happening here. You are only caving in and missing her. . (normal) but nothings changed.

Hoping and wishing problems to go away doesn't make them disappear.