I don't understand shy people. They frustrate me with their games.

I just do not get it at all. Or why I am even attracted to quiet guys. What bothers me is why do shy people act so sad because they can't get a date, yet when someone is into them and they are into them, they act like they don't care? What sense is that?

A guy I am attracted to at work, always tries to be near me. Coincidentally each time I turn around he happens to be there. Also, he keeps trying to get into my conversations with people. I remember, we were all talking, he came from no where. Just "popped in" I knew he had no reason to be there, he just asks my friend "So.. What's up?" he wasn't even looking at her, he was looking at me. We were talking about zodiac signs and I asked what he was. He's the same sign as me, and I tried to make convo and laughed, and he just said "yeah.." gave a small smile looked like he wanted to add more but didn't. Are you serious?

It's just kind of annoying, why go through all that trouble when you won't even try to approach me? Am I that awful?

People who are really really shy =

- Never had a relationship maybe?

- Perfectionist?

- Not good at conversations?

- Afraid of REJECTION

That's all I could think of.

People who are really really shy =

 

- Never had a relationship maybe?

- Perfectionist?

- Not good at conversations?

- Afraid of REJECTION

 

That's all I could think of.

Well I like this guy. And I think he likes me. I just think it's kind of annoying he's so quiet, but I dont get way. He's so attractive. Also, noticed that same day he seemed to dress a lot better than he usually does. I think he's cute. I can't understand how someone has never dated him, or whatnot

Well I like this guy. And I think he likes me. I just think it's kind of annoying he's so quiet, but I dont get way. He's so attractive. Also, noticed that same day he seemed to dress a lot better than he usually does. I think he's cute. I can't understand how someone has never dated him, or whatnot

LOL Reminds me of my first ex. I knew he was going to be my first boyfriend anyway. LOL

Don't put such a high expectation. Let the cards play out. Just enjoy spending time with him. Even his quietness. Then he'll open up like a butterfly. LOL

LOL Reminds me of my first ex. I knew he was going to be my first boyfriend anyway. LOL

 

Don't put such a high expectation. Let the cards play out. Just enjoy spending time with him. Even his quietness. Then he'll open up like a butterfly. LOL

Really? What was your first ex like?!

And than there's this other guy that likes me. He's shy too. But I don't like him. I like this guy I'm talking about right now.

Not even kidding, I've never experienced someone THIS quiet and attractive. I could just feel it. He walks around all quiet, his co workers don't. I want to get to know him but no way am I going to try if all he does is stare from a far, walk around, jump into my convo's "just cause" not even say one word to me, or barely. It just makes me feel incompetent or silly to try to talk to someone like that. Ugh. I like him.. So it sucks.

I would just giggle at him and tell him that he amuses you when he is quiet and ask him what's the secret of being so quiet around you?

;]

A smart girl knows to act on what she wants rather than do nothing and let an opportunity pass them by. Things don't fall in ones lap.

A smart girl knows to act on what she wants rather than do nothing and let an opportunity pass them by. Things don't fall in ones lap.

;] It did for me. LOL

That makes me an exception right. ;]

It makes you very lucky.

A smart girl knows to act on what she wants rather than do nothing and let an opportunity pass them by. Things don't fall in ones lap.

A smart guy would quit his antics off. Stop acting aloof, and just approach or come out with his attraction or interest in the woman who obviously fancies him. I'm really annoyed that shy people do this. Act like they don't like you, act like they are better than you when that's not how they feel at all.

I'm an intuitive person - I pick up a lot on peoples feelings and emotions. I dont understand the ducking, the walking around as if you are "looking for something" when you really just like looking at someone, etc etc. *

A smart guy realize this behavior is what makes him unsuccessful with dating.

A smart guy would quit his antics off. Stop acting aloof, and just approach or come out with his attraction or interest in the woman who obviously fancies him. I'm really annoyed that shy people do this. Act like they don't like you, act like they are better than you when that's not how they feel at all.

 

I'm an intuitive person - I pick up a lot on peoples feelings and emotions. I dont understand the ducking, the walking around as if you are "looking for something" when you really just like looking at someone, etc etc. *

A smart guy realize this behavior is what makes him unsuccessful with dating.

Trust me, just do what you like. If you like talking to him, then talk. If you don't liek talking to him, then don't talk.

Pretend your eyes are blind and you don't see the beauty of the surface. That's how I view people so I don't get so frustrated at their approach and how shy they are.

I can tell you ( because I am shy) the only reason why I am shy is lack of self-confidence. I always overthink things and wonder what are they thinking?? Do they think I am boring?

Trust me, just do what you like. If you like talking to him, then talk. If you don't liek talking to him, then don't talk.

 

Pretend your eyes are blind and you don't see the beauty of the surface. That's how I view people so I don't get so frustrated at their approach and how shy they are.

I'm definitely gonna wait to see if he approaches me somehow. I'm not extroverted by all means, quite the introvert, but I am social. People tell me I have charm, wit, and am very attractive. This guys attractive too, don't see what his deal is to be quite honest. He should realize how handsome he is.

I'm definitely gonna wait to see if he approaches me somehow.

Why would you do this? You're irritated that he's acting shy and playing games, but this sounds like a game to me.

I don't understand shy people. They frustrate me with their games.

What bothers me is why do shy people act so sad because they can't get a date, yet when someone is into them and they are into them, they act like they don't care?

It's just kind of annoying, why go through all that trouble when you won't even try to approach me? Am I that awful?

I just think it's kind of annoying he's so quiet, but I dont get way.

A smart guy would quit his antics off. Stop acting aloof, and just approach or come out with his attraction or interest in the woman who obviously fancies him. I'm really annoyed that shy people do this. Act like they don't like you, act like they are better than you when that's not how they feel at all.

Well, as someone who has been shy all her life, I can tell you right off the bat that your attitude is extremely derogatory towards shy people, and very confrontational.

You just asserted that all shy people play games, act sad about being unable to get a date while acting like we don't care when someone shows interest, that we annoy you incredibly, that we're not smart, and that we act like we think we're better than you.

Wow...how about trying some compassion and understanding instead of all these judgments and conclusions?

Shy people aren't always that way because of insecurity...some of us simply aren't people-people. We aren't comfortable speaking up in groups, we don't like to be the center of attention, and sometimes, we just prefer to remain quiet and observe than constantly opening our mouths and talking.

Also, as a shy person, I can tell you that when I see someone I am -truly- interested in, I overcome my shyness, and go for it.

Regardless, he's obviously too shy for you, since it seems to annoy you to no end, or he's just not interested enough in you to want to pursue you. Sounds like a losing battle either way, so probably best to move along, and find someone more suited to your tastes, personality-wise.

You just described anything but shyness. Shyness is a fear of people, shyness is severe self consciousness. Shyness is weakness, not being able to musket up the courage to put aside your fears of what others may perceive of you in order to be happy and lead fulfilling lives. Shyness is an irrational fear. Because at the end of the day, you won't act simply because you fear how strangers might perceive you. That's irrational.

He must be a people person if he has the job he has.

If that's how you think of shy people, I don't see why you'd want to lower yourself to his level and date him.

Never said shy people were lower than me.

Just don't understand that level of insecurity and how someone could be comfortable such a debilitating force. A force that is changeable. Shyness is an irrational fear. It's a mind game in itself.

Never said shy people were lower than me.

 

Just don't understand that level of insecurity and how someone could be comfortable such a debilitating force. A force that is changeable. Shyness is an irrational fear. It's a mind game in itself.

Who said anything about being comfortable with ones own shyness? I am hardly comfortable with my shyness, I hate it to be honest.

The first thing you must realize is that he isn't playing these games on purpose to hurt you. It's his nervousness, anxiety and probable lack of experience in dating that is getting the better of him; so don't take his actions of being disinterested personally.

Connection to Someone: We all naturally and instinctively look for a connection with someone who is of value to us. If something is not of value to us then we will not want it. This connection activity is a sub conscious, instinctive act.

When someone is open to connect to another they are emotionally and physically interested, based on physical attraction, emotional interest and positive rewarding time together and they naturally want the other person to be the same, so the connection can be made. If the other person is not or does not show that they are emotionally, physically interested then the connection cannot be made and the emotional interest of the first person will naturally move to another.

A successful connection requires positive pro active, emotional, communicational and physical interest of both parties to work. The more mutual interest then the stronger the connection. This is natural attraction and sex. If this is not shown by one or both parties or there is a perception of no interest then the person who was interested will lose interest, close off and look for another connection. This is all natural and done on a sub conscious level.

Shyness: Shyness prevents a person from showing this positive, pro active, emotional, communicative and physical interest which is required for a connection. Or it causes the person to close off, withdraw inside themselves at a certain point in the connection process. Because this interest is natural part of human attraction, then the withdrawal or non showing of this is taken as non interest. The other person then loses the emotional interest in the shy person and does not wish to connect.

Affects of Shyness: The shy person does not realize the affects of their actions on the connection process. They feel the emotional interest and desire within but cannot successfully show this.

Initial Meeting: A shy person cannot bring themselves to move to connect with someone, but they have the emotional, physical interest and desire for the person. This emotional, physical interest and desire will show itself in creep actions. This is both repulsive and scary to the receiver because it is not the natural responses to form a connection but rather the opposite. Resulting in dislike, avoidance reaction, which can lead to loneliness.

If communication is attempted: The shy person will struggle with this, making hard work for the other person. ( harder for men then women ). They will not be able to move the connection forward in a natural way. This will show as friendly interest but non emotional interest from the other person who will lose emotional interest and look for another connection.

Shyness connection failure: When a shy person cannot show the natural connection interest, but feels the connection interest inside, the other person naturally loses emotional interest. The shy person will take this as a rejection. This can lead to loneliness.

Note also that since the shy person is struggling inside to show the correct natural connection interest they can sometimes show this interest after the emotional connection has gone and the other person has lost emotional interest. The other person will not then have the emotional interest in the shy person and will be partially or fully closed off. This can lead to rejection or dislike / avoidance reaction.

The only way to ascertain if he is really shy or just playing mind games is to "take the bull by the horns" and ask him out. If he refuses you, then he is not shy, just playing mind games. I have been fooled by guys who I thought were shy but it just turned out they were playing mind games. When they really wanted someone they pursued properly. So ask him out once and for all and then you will no longer be in limbo and wasting your time, you will know one way or the other.

nobody chooses to be shy but well its obvious you don't like shy people or have big problems with there behaviour, the chances of you succeeding with these guy are very small if thats the way you feel about shy people he will never get comfortable around you

Think of it from his pov. He knows 100 people in his daily life and is attracted out of all of them to you. Why would he ever hope or expect you to reciprocate, unless he's a little bold - which he isn't

Behavioral patterns are like bad habits: very hard to break. This guy's behavior is ingrained just as is yours and as is my own. I am in the same situation as yourself: attracted to a man who is attractive, funny, outgoing, witty I would even go so far as to say that he is charming.....except when I'm around. When I'm around his spine straightens like he's suddenly a soldier in the army, he averts my gaze and avoids me. He basically makes me feel the same as what you are feeling.....I mean, am I that scary? He's the reason I joined this forum, to get advice on how to handle the situation because I can be pretty shy as well.

Now I don't know your age group, but I'm 40 and my guy in question is probably around the same age. Seriously? To have to deal with a man who is scared to just make some chitchat with a woman he supposedly likes (at this age!?) is beyond comprehensible to me... Try not to be annoyed, you can always try asking him out for a coffee, just in casual conversation....gauge his reaction....if it's positive great; if not so positive, I think you should move on. No point in banging on a door that's never going to open.

Good luck,

Sophie

im the same type of guy an its mostly may be cuz he was hurt in the past or hes scared he will say something stupid