my girl friend treats me bad and i still stay

i have been with for 18 months, i do everything take care of her 4 year old boy ,maint. on her house. , take her out to dinners, vacations, she does not treat me with respect, or put any effort into passion, or intamacy,, she will sleep with me regularly,, but i feel its just to keep me doing everything...i love her ,, i call her out on it about once a month,,, she says she is giving all she can,,, i feel lonely, and used we are not kids i am 45 she is 35

How does she treat you badly? Can you give some examples?

She should be your best friend. You shouldn't feel lonely in a relationship. Why are you staying? Are you afraid that she's your best/last shot at love? Because it doesn't sound like love to me. So sorry you are going through this.

i feel its the best i can do because i am getting older 45,,,she is very beatiful,, i love her..but feel alone,,, thanks for reply

She keeps on treating you poorly because you allow her to. I'm sure arguments break out, and when they do, you eventually take her back into your arms. She knows (or believes, rather) that you're always going to forgive her and keep her, no matter how she treats you.

Well, at this point you're probably feeling like her whooping boy. You've probably lost your pride. Your patience is probably running thin and you're wondering if she's ever going to change and start treating you with the respect that you deserve.

To be honest, you need to scare her. Tell her that you want to take a step back from the relationship in order to think about things, and "reevaluate" the relationship. And tell her why you're doing this. Tell her how you feel (unappreciated, like you do so much for her and it's never enough, or HOWEVER YOU FEEL.). Don't see her for a couple of weeks. Yes, keep the lines of communication open, but don't really spend time with her. I know this sounds cruel . . . but if she truly wants to be with you, she will be completely MISERABLE during this time apart. And when you re-unite and really discuss things, you'll see how she has shaped up. You just gotta hope that she stays that way.

It sounds manipulative, but honestly, she needs to know that you are SERIOUS this time. That THAT'S IT, you've had ENOUGH. Get me? Good luck. People can and do change. She has to want it, though. Not just you.

Do you pay for a lot of things?

she acts like she is doing me a favor, being with me she is 35 and beatiful, i am 45 and average,, she says i am insecure,, needy,,

thank you, i did exactly this about 2 months ago, we got back together, but nothing changed , she did alittle extra , but faded fast back to status now,, i feel like a battered spouse that cant leave,,,,

i feel its the best i can do because i am getting older 45,,,she is very beatiful,, i love her..but feel alone,,, thanks for reply

Pardon my abrasiveness, but forget that. She's taking you for a fool and making you her doormat. Don't put up with that. You mention she's the best you can do because you're getting older...don't settle. At the very least not for THAT.

Stand up for yourself, don't just call her out on it. Tell her what's going to happen if she continues such treatment, and follow through if she does.

I've been with a person like this. They'll change just long enough for you to take them back.

i feel its the best i can do because i am getting older 45,,,she is very beatiful,, i love her..but feel alone,,, thanks for reply

45 is NOT old for a man. You guys are really lucky in that you get sexier the older you get. You are hitting your dating prime.

So what if she's physically beautiful. You can go out and get a high priced call girl who's probably less expensive. I am, of course, going on the assumption that she's using you. We could be wrong you know. Maybe she really loves you but is under so much stress right now she can't display it. I don't have enough information.

But I think that if you are feeling lonely in the relationship you need to talk to her about it, and I mean, REALLY talk to her about it without being afraid of losing her. If you lose her because she can't step up and communicate with you, then she wasn't worth having.

Think back to before you met her. Are you honestly more happy now, and less drama free than before you met her? That should be your answer.

And I want to reiterate, 45 is not at all old.

yes i pay for everything, and its not enough

thank you, i have never been on anything like this before for advice seems like alot of good people,,

yes i pay for everything, and its not enough

Been there, done that. I wound up with about $800 in debt after I left her. Not much, but still...ask yourself...what can you do to please her? Seriously?

Pleasing a woman who is using you for monetary gain is impossible. That's why it's not enough. Muster up the last bit of dignity you have and break up.

yes i pay for everything, and its not enough

You said that you take care of her house. Do you guys live together? Because I have a host of questions for you, but they all depend on this answer.

no we each have our own homes about 4 miles apart, i always go there, take her boy to school in the am etc,,,i boght her a engagement ring awhile back , but things never got better so i keep it in my safe for now..

its easier said then done i cant break away...

i dont know what it would take she is a serious control type of person

its easier said then done i cant break away...

Well that's about the biggest line of bullsh*t I've ever heard. I'm not trying to be mean, I believe that you believe this. But you have to stop believing it because that right there is the unhealthy power she knows she has over you.

Stick around ENA. You'll change your mind about this and begin to respect yourself again. It does sound a LOT like she's taking you for a ride. Of course, we don't know her side of the story, but really...it doesn't sound good.

So you have a choice, take the sex with a super hotty in exchange for financial and domestic servitude. Appreciate the arrangement, but recognize it for what it is.

Or step out of it and make room in your life for someone who is willing to be an equal partner. She might not be as beautiful on the outside, but the relationship will be much more rewarding.

If you can, can you give up more information on this? Write out anything you can think of so we can help you better.

How did you meet?

How long have you been together?

Does she go out a lot without you?

Does she work?

Listen to Trxy. Couldn't have said it better myself.

Easier said than done? Sure. But think about how much better life would be without this person.

how do i get out i am at home by myself ,and its killing me inside

we met 13 years ago,,went out for a bit,,,i nevr could stop thinking about her,,then i ran into her in a restaurant and we got together,,,again... she does not go out with-out me ,,, she has a good job,,, very indepedant,,,likes control,,,,sleeps alot i think to escape her son 4 year old very demanding child wipes her out

sleeps alot

Major sign of depression. First step, have her see someone. She may just be suffering....

But all of the other things you pointed to don't look good to me.

Dated 13 years ago, but you never got over her - she's got a mighty strong hold on you and I'm willing to bet you've been overlooking a host of other things to keep her on that pedestal.

Doesn't go out with you- Ummm...W-T-F??? Does she go out at all? If not, could be a sign of depression. Have her get help. If she goes out without you, she's not that into you. She's using you. Sorry.

Sleeps to get away from her son? - If this isn't depression, then she's not emotionally available to her son, how can you expect her to be with you? This isn't about you, this is about her limited capacity for love. So sad. But again, have her checked out for depression first.

Independent? - I'm raging independent. But when I'm in love, I'm in love man. There is no way a man that I'm in love with could possibly mistake my independence for lack of interest. That is not an excuse.

One last question. Was she struggling financially or emotionally when you met? Did you relieve her of some sort of burden?

yes i relieve her alot with, her son her coping skills are shot, i handle most of the kid stuff,,, she takes ambien every night and checks out on me,,,she will have sex with me first so i dont complain * * * * * ,,,