my girl friend treats me bad and i still stay

[EC7]

If you think that you are happier being with her than losing her, then stay. If you don't know, then as a someone else said, take a step back, go out, meet new people, see what happens. If she just takes you for granted then she will try to persuade you to come back, don't just go back, if she really loves you then she will work especially hard to get you back. If she doesn't, then you know. 45 is not old. It seems a little as though you have given up, once you give up on yourself, no one can save you. Grab back your pride and determine what you want from the many years you have left. If you want what you have (an empty, emotionally upsetting, being *potentially* used, existence) then you are where you want to be. If you want more, then go and get it - it's not going to just find you.

[1998vett]

yeah true i think i am just so beat down at this piont

[1998vett]

i am at home miserable,,,,do you think she is too? she says she loves me best she can

[Mauxly]

i am at home miserable,,,,do you think she is too? she says she loves me best she can

 

Get her to see a specialist on depression. The ambien thing is horrible. It is very addicting and can change a person. While she's on drugs and or in a depressive state, neither of you will know what kind of love she is capable of.

 

I'm being a little bit charitable towards her here, giving her some sort of benefit of the doubt. It sounds to me like she's really messed up and using you as a crutch. We are now repeating ourselves pretty much...

 

But go ahead and talk to her about her state of mind. Encourage her to get help and get off the drugs. If she is unwilling you need to decide whether or not this situation, as is, is tolerable or worth it, because it isn't going to change.

 

I hope that you keep posting on here throughout your trials with this. We may find you on the break up thread, or the healing after break up thread. Or you may stay in the relationship thread (which should probably be named Dysfunctional Relationship thread).

 

No matter what you choose to do, we are here for ya!

[1998vett]

thank you,,,truley

[Burberry]

What I see in all of this is that you probably have never had a TRUE loving relationship in your life and your 45? That's the saddest thing. If she truly loved you, she would notice something is wrong and want to talk about it. It seems to me she doesn't care as long as you do your chores, take care of the kid (Is it yours? because then you do have to) and spend your money. You two should not only be lovers but best friends. She should make you a better person not a beat down person as you say. You two should be always able to talk. How can you love someone who treats you that way. Just decide as the others have said and tell her your out if she can't work on the relationship. I also believe maybe councling is in order. If you think this is your true love and you want to spend the rest of your life with her then spend a few weeks apart. Don't make the mistake of giving up early if you want to grow old together. Also don't make the mistake of starting to date to soon and then she finds out. She will always hold that over your head. Get your pride and diginity back because if you don't like you why should she.

[Burberry]

Trxy has an excellent point! Are you happier now then before you two got together?

[1998vett]

thank you for advise

[iloveme]

Dear Mr. Vette:

 

First of all I am thinking your screenname might help to answer your question... She sounds like she might be a very materalistic person.

 

Second you say you dated her 13 years ago.... What was the reason for the breakup back then? And how long was the relationship?

 

Also in the 13 years that you were not with each other were you alone? And if you were in a relationship how was it? How long did it last? And why did it end?

 

As far people saying its sounds like depression.... I fully disagree..... She sounds like a person who should have never been a mother to begin with. For her to pass this child on as your responsibility should answer all those questions for you....

 

I think if you go re-read the information you have shared with everyone else prior to this.... I think f YOU were clear headed you would know all your answers!

[vag]

Hello,

I am in a much worst situation.

Very often, after I express my needs to her, she blames that I put press on her

and I say thing in a wrong way

We have a kind of relationship in which I spend half or more of my salary foe her and her mother.

She does not come to my house (3 times in 4,5 years)

She does not invited me to her house(3 times in 4,5 years)

We only had sex 2 times all these years (i ask her for this almost every day)

She got pregnant but "we" lost the baby on the second month.

Even when she was pregnant I did not know if we were going to live together

(that is another thing that I propose to her almost every day)

She does not say no to anything, just nothing more than going out and

doing some nice activities happens.

I try to thnink to move on but have not the power to do it.

I am also trying hard to get closer to her.

I write poems, talk to her very much in every way than I can

to convince her to make a healthy and complete ralationship with me.

I have a lot more to say that happen and mouch more that don't happen.

I love/want her so much.

Your situation would be like a paradise to me....

Maybe there are things you can do about you and your relationship or maybe not,

but she gives you herself...

I could be happy in a life like yours...

[mikema777]

thank you for advise

 

It's been some time now. How are you doing? Have you found yourself in a different place in life?

[faraday]

It's been some time now. How are you doing? Have you found yourself in a different place in life?

 

It's been 4 years...and he's only made 20 posts in total...my guess is...he's long gone.

[HeartGoesOn]

Thread closed.