I think I'm falling in love with someone online

We met around a year ago at some online community, but back then we were nothing but friends. And some time ago, 4 months to be exact, he broke up with his old girlfriend. We started talking more and more and he confessed him that he was liking me more than a friend... and I think I might too. It's not love yet, but there is definitely something going on.

There are just some complications:

I'm from Puerto Rico and he is from the east coast, USA. It sounds a bit funny to me because after seeing one of my irl friends have to struggle so bad for a long-distance relationship, I kinda swored to myself to not fall in love with someone not from my country, but it just... happened.

We do have an open relationship over msn, phone, etc., so I feel confident talking about stuff, but I just feel too many insecurities since I'm not experienced in dating, more less, online dating.

My parents met online (well my mom and stepdad) and they've been together for almost a decade, but they were from the same country.

Also, before me and this guy met, me and my family had plans to move to the US after I'm done with college, so a meeting might be possible, just in like, a year or so.

I don't know where this might lead. If we might stay as friends or more, or nothing at all.

And I'm having te usual long-distance relationship woes like "is he serious", "am I being played", "will he go back to his old girlfriend"? etc.

I really need some advice, and if I should just stop while it's not actually anything serious .

Take it one day at a time, and don't believe everything you feel for him is based in reality.

I am always wary of getting too invested with someone just based purely on online communication. I've had some lovely online exchanges with people via email, msn, phone, and then met them in person and there has been no "offline" chemistry. I remember one in particular where we sent 1-2 page emails every day for about 2 months, and talked about everything and anything, I was totally attached.. Then we met and there was NOTHING there, he was still the same person, but we just didn't "click" in person... People can also be different online, they can be the person they want to be, which might not be the person they are in reality?

Do you think you will be able to meet him any time soon? Also how old are you guys?

Ammy

@ Ammy: Yeah, I feel that way since people aren't always what they appear to be. I've met people online and it turned out well because we are from the same country and no romantic feelings were involved. I just don't have much experience in the relationship area. The little experience that I had was bad, but I don't want to compare that one to any others I might have in the future since I don't like to think "all men are the same" or anything like that.

I'm 20, and will be done with college next year, He's the same age as well. I just began college early.

And if we do meet it would be pretty much after I'm done with college since my family's been waiting for me to be done with my studies before we move out.

@ Ammy: Yeah, I feel that way since people aren't always what they appear to be. I've met people online and it turned out well because we are from the same country and no romantic feelings were involved. I just don't have much experience in the relationship area. The little experience that I had was bad, but I don't want to compare that one to any others I might have in the future since I don't like to think "all men are the same" or anything like that.

 

I'm 20, and will be done with college next year, He's the same age as well. I just began college early.

 

And if we do meet it would be pretty much after I'm done with college since my family's been waiting for me to be done with my studies before we move out.

Seshka, its good that you're grounded. Some people become too intensely involved online and it can lead to upset when people meet and their expectations are shattered. I don't want to be a dampener, there are some instances where online chemistry is the same offline (or even better!!) so it is possible that you guys could hit it off. I would just encourage meeting sooner rather than later. How does he feel about the long-distance thing?

Seshka, its good that you're grounded. Some people become too intensely involved online and it can lead to upset when people meet and their expectations are shattered. I don't want to be a dampener, there are some instances where online chemistry is the same offline (or even better!!) so it is possible that you guys could hit it off. I would just encourage meeting sooner rather than later. How does he feel about the long-distance thing?

He's told me he doesn't mind. We're just going to keep talking to see where it's going to go.

He might be 100% sincere but typing and talking gives you little relevant information as far as whether you'd be compatible for a real life romantic relationship. And yes, some people do mislead/deceive on line but I prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt.

If you can stay grounded, promise yourself you will keep your options open to meet and date other people, there's no harm in having an on line friend who you might meet in person someday.

I wouldn't invest too much time in him and I would meet as soon as you possibly can.

You could waste months on chatting, only to find that when you meet in person, you don't click, there is no chemistry.

If it isn't possible for you to meet soon, try not to

get too emotionally involved and remain slightly detached.....keep your expectations low about this guy. To do otherwise, could result in an eventual BIG disappointment.

Hope it works out for you both though

A healthy relationship can not be built without physical intimacy.

Coming from someone such as myself that got hurt very badly by a guy I fell in love with online, I say you really need to be careful.

Now if you have been writing for almost one year and have not meet him IRL that would be a BIG red flag!!! I was in a situation one time where like you I got chatting with a guy online, He had a GF.with a kid. He told me and convinced me through his messages that he was breaking up with her.He was only sticking around to try and help her until she could get back on her feet..For some reason I believed him. He was on the far West coast I on the far East coast we were separated by thousands of miles of distance. He was even convincing me by plans to come my way and be with me. Then one day he stopped contact and I never heard from him again I was crushed. One thing I did not see back then was the fact that if he was sincere about this he would have made plans to meet sooner and follow through on those actions.. he did not and I failed to see it. So, you need to be very careful. You never know who your really talking too. To this day I have NO clue why he did what he did all I can conclude is that he was not really the person he pretended to be and I ended up invested my heart and soul for many months and it got me NO where. So, I'd say either meet him soon and know that he is serious or forget about him. Good luck.

I wish you good luck,takie it easy ,i m going to a terrible heart break with the love of my life,he is from puerto-rico,i loved him,helped him,and then he dumped me on txt message,after i made him a surprise visit with good intentions.I live in the Us,and my story ended up sad last week,but i hope you have more luck than me.Just dont give everything like i did

Take it one day at a time, and don't believe everything you feel for him is based in reality.

But it can work that way, my boyfriend and I are living proof. We're from different countries, met online, fell for eachother online, met in person and it was completley natural. We were (and still are) exactly the same offline only better because we could hold eachother and be close

It just takes honesty. Unfortunately not everyone is honest online so you do have to be careful. Still, it's not impossible and it can work. If the person is special enough to you or could potentially be something amazing then I say go for it one step at a time, see where it brings you and just be honest with eachother. Be careful, take it slow, but it can work. There are people who've fell for others from opposite ends of the world and made it work.

Why do you guys talk as if puerto rico is not part of the US? haha

It can be succesfull I was with my ex for 5 years, the reason we broke up was not the distance between us. Eventually if you guys do REALLY love eachother it will work

It can be succesfull I was with my ex for 5 years, the reason we broke up was not the distance between us. Eventually if you guys do REALLY love eachother it will work

Same with my ex, I met him online too and we were together for over two years. What broke us up had nothing to do with the distance.

Things are still going strong with me and my boyfriend we're making it work even if we have water between us. I never regrett meeting him in person even though we both knew it'd have to be a long distance relationship for at least a few years.

i had a very similar situation and it worked out perfectly although it was hard its definitely doable