Best way to ask out a waitress?

[matius]

I had a class with this very attractive girl, we didn't really talk much... sat on opposite ends of the room.

 

After the class was over, I've run into her at the restaurant she works at a few times and we've talked. But I'm usually with a group of people and she may wait on us... it's difficult to get a good opportunity to ask for coffee. Not only that, but the whole creepy dude asking out a waitress comes into mind. Ya know, they have to be there, you don't so it's sort of a weird thing.

 

Still, I'm of the opinion that she might go for it if I were to ask. Not 100% though.

 

My question is, I can either role up there solo and stick out like a sore thumb and ask her out, or next time I'm in there break away from the group and try to get a word in... or, should I use the fact that we have mutual friends at the same place?

 

Would there be anything weak about going for the third alternative? I think that normally occurs, but I've not done that.

 

Thanks~

[scarew]

As a former waitress, I would advise that you don't ask her out at work. First, the service industry is a high paced job and you just don't have time to deal with that. Second, I bet she has been asked by alot of men to "hang out after work" or "give them a call on the weekend" and she just has to smile and nod. You won't get an honest response if you ask her out while she is working. You can't! She has the game face on! She doesn't want to displease a customer by shooting them down but she also doesn't want to look like a sleeze in front of her boss.

 

Is there anywhere other than work that you can run into her and talk to her? Honestly, you could be blowing any chance you have by doing the at work ask out.

[matius]

I think you're probably right. Glad I held my tongue.

 

But that's why I brought up the bit about having a mutual friend that works with her to mention it.

 

Otherwise, no I don't think that I would run into her again.

 

Life goes on.

[BManMcFly]

In experience, being a regular at the restaurant gives more of a chance to gradually develop the kind of genuine rapport with her that you would need to meet her sometime outside of work.

 

In my hometown, I was working out at a nearby gym, and my workout partner and I would go to this greasy spoon after our workouts once a week to reward sticking to the workout schedule. Over the months, and mostly because waitressing is a HIGH TURNOVER job, my workout partner or myself had dated more or less every attractive waitress that worked there.

 

We would typically sit close to the kitchen where they would be walking past fairly often. We would roleplay with them, (ex : Nurse... I'm dying here I need 50ccs of food. STAT!), tease them, include them in our conversations, and just in general get on their good side. Then over time we would start to figure out which of the two of us the girl preferred, then the other would talk him up.

 

This is over several times of going to this restaurant, remember... and always allowing her to do her job, if they had a break, we'd invite them to sit with us. All the things that we could so that they'd be generally happy to see us.

 

After a while we'd step it up a notch, saying things like 'she so wants you.' and eventually leading up to asking her to 'hang out outside of work'... or to party together, whatever seemed appropriate.

 

This is a bit more of a lengthy approach, because it's not like you'll usually get the chance to have any meaningful conversation over the course of a meal... but over time you can show her your personality and over time build that kind of rapport. It's by no means a foolproof approach, but it's one of those where doing the right things over the long term will work in your favor on the long term.

[empty_basanette]

look it's very cliche but maybe ask her on her break to have coffee. good luck

[ghost69]

can you go in and sit at a bar like area there? like stool seats? like a diner cafe area in the restaurant. if not, go in with a bunch of friends. you can always write ur number on a napkin while ur there. sit on the end and drop the napkin on the floor. she will more than likely pick it up and see your name and number on it. then ask for a clean napkin. it gives her the chance to put it in her pocket when she walks away.

 

not like i've ever done this. lol.

[BManMcFly]

can you go in and sit at a bar like area there? like stool seats? like a diner cafe area in the restaurant. if not, go in with a bunch of friends. you can always write ur number on a napkin while ur there. sit on the end and drop the napkin on the floor. she will more than likely pick it up and see your name and number on it. then ask for a clean napkin. it gives her the chance to put it in her pocket when she walks away.

 

not like i've ever done this. lol.

 

I know this one SOUNDS like a good idea... in practice it will backfire pretty much 100% of the time, unless the woman was SOO attracted to you that it didn't matter that you didn't even ask her for her number at the same time.

 

I did that once, I thought I was being so smooth, because the girl seemed pretty into me, but then to see the look an her face when she realized it was my number told it all to me.

[scotty77]

What signs has she given you that she might be interested?

[ghost69]

I know this one SOUNDS like a good idea... in practice it will backfire pretty much 100% of the time, unless the woman was SOO attracted to you that it didn't matter that you didn't even ask her for her number at the same time.

 

I did that once, I thought I was being so smooth, because the girl seemed pretty into me, but then to see the look an her face when she realized it was my number told it all to me.

 

lol. i never said it would work. it probably wouldn't if she wasn't attracted to you. but the thing is, i'm not sure the OP even knows if she is or not. this would be a good clue.

 

or act like you are walking to the restroom in the place and pull her to the side somehow and ask if you could give her your number.

[BManMcFly]

I just have a personal policy to not give out my number to a girl without at least getting hers in exchange.