Giving up

[alexandra360]

Charmed, I thank you for your great advice the other day. I do hear everything you are saying.

I am really worried b/c I am getting worse instead of better. I have been through break-ups before but this one came as such a sudden shock and I truly thought he was "the one", that I am having beyond a bad time. I'm worried because I haven't eaten a thing in days, can't sleep, am driving way too fast almost trying to get myself killed. I feel like I don't even want to go on anymore. Just a couple weeks ago he talked about marriage...not that we would have gotten engaged for at least 6 more months....but still..I had such dreams and hopes and they have all been shattered. That sick feeling in my stomach will not go away and I feel I never want to eat again or look at another guy ever again.

I just don't get how someone can end it just out of the blue like that. He said he thought the world of me and knows he will never meet anyone like me...but I guess he just didn't love me enough and that's why he thinks we need a break...I'm just concerned b/c I feel like I want to die and am seriously worried. I want to call him but I won't....I just wish he knew how much I really cared. Please help...

[lunatic]

Alexandra360,

 

I am sorry about your problem. I can tell you from past heartbreaks that I can put myself into your situation. I feel for you because we all know how you are feeling right now. You need to work out the issues for yourself. You need to remember that you are only human and have desires and needs to. So what you needed time to get over a past relationship. Atleast, you were honest with him enough to tell him that you wanted to take it slowly. Sure I am certain that it was very frustrating to him at the time. Your a person too and you have to remember that you were doing what you thought was the best for you at the time. Don't knock yourself too badly about the relationship falling apart. I think that if it was meant to be then everything will work out in the end.

I wish you all the best and remember that there will be someone out there that will love you for who you are.

 

-Hubman

P.S. If you ever feel the need to get it off your chest then PM me. I have been through this so many times that I may give you some useful insight to the problems you are experiencing.

 

Good luck.

[Turboz]

Whatever you do please don't do anything to harm yourself.

 

You seem like a caring person who would be a good friend. I always like to make new NICE friends so if you want to talk about your problems sometime then feel free to email me: email removed

 

I'm sorry to hear that your man has decided your not right together. Perhaps he felt a little pressured about it?

 

Did you ever attempt to get a date out of him for marriage or just tell him that you wanted it?

 

Some men are ok with the thought of marriage to start with, but when it comes to the crunch they are terrified and they can't admit to it. They would rather take the easy way out than hurt the woman by telling then "I can't marry you". I can see why. If it was someone close to me I couldn't bring myself to say it either, but then me being me, if I was that close to the woman I wouldn't waste any time - I'd have her straight up the aisle ASAP.

 

If you want to email me for a chat then feel free.

 

Best wishes

Turboz

[vampyr]

Umm... first of all. Go to the bookstore and find a book about healing a broken heart. You need guidance to help you through it. The book will help you because while you read it, you won't be thinking how much you miss him.

 

We've all been through what you are going through. I'm going through it right now.. my ex left me a week after we were engaged. So it has been very hard for me. But I immediately joined a gym, got in shape, and now I look at myself in the mirror and see a stronger, healthier person than I was when I was with my ex.

 

Now is the time to start enjoying the things you never noticed. Go take a walk outside.. or go sit under a tree. Go drive to someplace you've never driven to before. Listen to music you absolutely hate... that always works for me.

Eventually you will have days where you couldn't be happier having this person out of your life... other days it will be hard to keep from crying. But life moves on... that person wasn't the right person for you. You are very lucky that you found out now.

 

Besides... I'm sure you are a very wonderful person who should have no problem finding someone new.

 

Hope to hear back from you.

[DM]

We've all been there and we've all survived. just keep getting up in the morning, getting out of bed, doing what you usually do and take care of yourself. It will get better. Try not to avoid your pain, but also don't let it take over you. I've just been through the same and it's starting to get better. Take good care of yourself and keep busy.