Broke up with girlfriend now she's dating this guy UPDATE

[bubbamackdaddy69]

Hi everyone... I just posting again regarding my last post.

My girlfriend and I have been brroken up for about a month and I think she is dating someone new like I said in my last post.

 

Anyway's last night(Friday) she called me and we talked for a bit and she asked if she could borrow my car so that she can go see her family thhat live an hours drive away. I hesitated but then I said yes because I knew how much she loves her family and doesn't get to see them often. Anyway's I went to go pick her up so she can used my car , so she dropped me off at home first. Well in the car on the way to drop me off we were talking, mainly I was talking about how much I loved her and that I wanted to get back with her and such. She kept saying that she wasn't sure and blah blah blah.But to be honest the conversation we had the whole way to drop me off was fairly good, I actually made her smile and we were lauging together. She dropped me off and she went to her parents. She called me once she got there, (Because I asked her to) and small chat for a bit and I talked to her 3 year old nephew that was still calling me Uncle.... After we hung up that night I kind got the feeling that maybe we can actually make thing work out. But the next day (Today)Saturday I think I blew it....

 

She called today to say she was on her way back to drop off my car.Alls well I thought... She got back at my place she played with the dog and 2 cats she left behind when she left me. She said she was going to meet her friend downtown behind a groceery store parking lot. I offered to drive hehr there and she accepted. This is where I blew it I think.As I was driving her downtown I couldn't help but ask her how things were going with her new "Boyfriend" or the guy shee was dating ,whatever... She got offended because I asked and refused to answer my question. Ikept asking her to tell me because If I knew she was happy with that new guy that I would just let go...but she still wouldn't answer me. She kept saying that it is not about her and this guy but that it was about us..Between me and her. She got upset and told me to drop her off about 4 blocks frrom where I was supposed to drop her off, but I said that I will drop hher off there... So we got to the grocery store parking lot and before she got out I got kind of desperate I kind of begged her to give us another try.She refused for now.. she said"My answer is the same as last time,I don't know right now." so I reached over to hug her and she wouldn't let me....

 

I drove off and was thinking to myself is she really meeting her friend or that guy?? So I drove around the block and got back at the grocery store and say her there waiting..I pulled in the parking lot,parked got out and started walking towards her saying that we needed to talk some more.. I reached to huhg her again and she said to not touch her and asked me why I was being so possesive..She said I just don't know what to do anymore...for the last 3 years you hardly showed me that you loved me and now you think you can change all that now.. She started crying hard and went to hug her but she pushed me away... I knew she was waiting for either her friend or that guy so I didn't say another word and just left...

 

What should I do people?? I'm thinking to lay low and not call her and maybe send her a card or letter? but what should I say in the letter if I send it? I don't know what to do but it seems that I aam pushing her away more when I'm trying to get her back.. Please Help, any advice would be appreciated..Thanks

[Anamarie89]

first of all, she is just as confused as you are. she doesn't know what she is feeling, and because you kept asking, she got even more confused. give her a little time to sort things out in her mind and then call her on the phone and apoligize, say its her life, she can do what she wants but even if you aren't offical, you still want to be a part of it.

[bubbamackdaddy69]

Thanks for the reply Anamarie.

But how long should I wait to call her, I mean I think I am already pushing her away and pressuring her but I really really want to get back with her.. I love her soo much and unfortunetly I didn't realize until she was gone. She loved me soo much when we were together but I never showed it back as much. I did show it but not as much.. They haven't said it but I think even my whole family misses her..They really liked her and her family loved me too.

[bubbamackdaddy69]

Wow , what a mess eh? Do you guy's think I've screwed things up for good? You do stupid things when you're hurt.... I don't know what to do...My buddies called and want to go for a beer at a pub downtown.Hope this helps for now..But tomorrow will be the same.. How can I get her back?I miss her.

[Someday]

...for the last 3 years you hardly showed me that you loved me and now you think you can change all that now.

 

If I had a dollar for every guy that coasted through a relationship only to be brought back to reality when the girl ends the relationship and all of a sudden the guy has this outpouring of emotion. Unfortunately it's very typical. You say your the one who is hurt now but I think you should take a look at her and realize maybe inside she's been hurting for the past 3 years.

 

My suggestion is not to do ANYTHING. No calls, no cards, no emails, no letters. NOTHING. You've overreacted enough. Sounds like stuff I used to do. You have to know when to say when. You think you are helping the situation but you're only making things worse. STEP AWAY. You've told her how you feel. Now it's up to her to decide what she wants to do.

 

Unfortunately, the only way we learn our lessons is through experience. Let me share some insight if you get back with this girl or for your next girlfriend. Girls need three things in a relationship:

1. Reassurance

2. Reassurance

3. And most important, Reassurance

 

Ultimately its the girl who decides who she wants to be with no matter how much we think we play a part in the decision.

[SunnyScott]

It sounds like she's using you. Leave her, move on, she's not worth it.

 

If someone tells you that they're not sure about being with you, leave them in the wind. Just think of it like a breeze in your past. Move on, her heart's not in it for you.

 

Tons of girls would love a romantic, sweet person like you. It sounds like you're ccompletely committed to her, even after you guys have broken up. She doesn't realize how lucky she is.

 

You are much better without her. Don't dig a hole that gets deeper, eventually you'll just kill yourself. My advice is to delete her number, and take some time out to take care of yourself...

[bubbamackdaddy69]

Thanks guys..I really appreciate all your advice.. Man I feel like a knob, I just sent her a long letter in the mail.There's no going back, it's in the mail now.She'll get it by tuesday or wednesday at the latest. So I've already sent it...What should I do now? Just let go and wait? I'm thinking I should go back to the way I used to be before I met her. I hate to admit it but I used to be a kind of a male slut...Well I've slept with alot of woman anyway..And the thing was that 99% of the women I was with were nothing like my ex..I mean my ex is pretty and all but she is not the Girly Girl type that I was used to.. She was a country girl... but the thing is I can't get her out of my mind?? arrghhhhhhh........?????

What now?

[Mar]

Let it rest. You've told her how you feel, now let her go for a little while. You can't call all the shots in this, and you've given it your best. Granted, she's wavering on what she wants to do, but there's nothing you can do to affect her decision. If she had issues from the relationship before now, she should have told you. It's not fair to dump it on you 3 years after the fact and say "you never did what I wanted" after all that time. Just give her a chance to think about what she wants and where she wants to be in her life, and if you're the one for her, she'll call. It hurts, and you wonder constantly, but let her go for now, you've done everything you can......

[Archivist]

I understand and sympathise with you, but u got to understand, girls hate being pressured when they are on a break/up. No matter how hard you try to make things better theres always the chance that u will push her further away. I think you've already done all you can to let her know how u feel, shes got the message pretty clear. Just leave her be and time will tell.

[bubbamackdaddy69]

Thanks guys, thanks alot... I will do just that. I know I have done alot and may have done too much to drive her away from me..but that's the past now I guess should just let time tell.... I do love her and want to be with her but I'll let her decide at this point even when It hurts to wait like this.'

I'll try to stand tall in all of this. Maybe I'll meet someone else or maybe she'll come back to me and it was meant to bee.

So should I never ever talk to her again until she calls me or something??

 

Thanks

[bubbamackdaddy69]

.

[Someday]

So should I never ever talk to her again until she calls me or something??

 

EXACTAMUNDO. Unfortunately, you already sent the letter so you'll have to wait that one out to see if she contacts you. But above all...DONT CALL HER!

 

The one thing girls dont want is a guy who is desperate and needy and your already making a case for yourself so far. So chill out for a while and give her some space (even if it means she is dating someone else).

[bubbamackdaddy69]

Thanks SOMEDAY.. I will do that.. Even thought it will be hard, I will do that. I mean I really want to be back with this girl , I love her to death but I think I've done enough damage trying to forcee the issue. I guess I'll just wait and see, If she calls and later on in a month, or 2 or even 3 months later we get back together then it was meant to be if not I guess I gotta move on.. I just hope she calls... I do miss her.....

Thanks again..

[fruitapus]

I agree you need to give her space and stop contacting her, you are setting yourself up for a lot of hurt if you keep trying and getting rejected. Every time this happens, you are just moving backwards in the healing process. You don't want to look pathetic, and you certainly don't want her to come back to you out of pity! I've been on all sides of relationships before, and I think breaking off contact without necessarily telling her that you are doing so is the best way to go in this case. You don't want to put up walls, but you want to look out for what's right for you. she knows where you stand, now let her think about it and miss you.

Now if I could only learn to apply my advice to my own situation, that would be something!!

[bubbamackdaddy69]

Thanks fruitapus...

I will definetly not contact her for a while.. The longest stretch I think of either of us contacting each other in the last month was 4 days.. So yeah I should lay low and hope she misses me... I would hope and think so after spending 3 years and 2.5 years living with someone..

Thanks.. I'm gonna go out and meet new girls maybe, not do anything crazy but she meet some, and if we get back together then it was meant to be.

Thanks...