has anyone ever felt they cant compare to their bf/gf's ex?

[missmebaby]

has any of you ever felt that you are second best to your bf/gf's ex? like your boyfriend or girlfriend doesnt think you are as good as they were. i have been dating a 24 year old guy for 4 1/2 months now. in the beginning things were great and he treated me amazing. after about 3 months we had starting fighting a lil bit and the newness of our relationship was wearing off. he started to act a little different and then ended up breaking up with me because he had had a dream about his ex gf and it freaked him out and made him start thinking about her alot. later the same day he told me it was just a phase he was going through and he really does love me and want to be with me and we got back together. since then things have been better.

 

but i still feel like i am not as good as his ex girlfriend. he was with her for 2 years and they broke up about a year and a half ago but had continued sleeping together until a few months before i met him. she was a very beautiful girl, better looking than me, smaller and thinner, popular, lives much closer to him, has a ton of money, drives a BMW, dresses very nicely. Also he has told me that they never fought, were planning on getting married, and things were totally perfect between them until right before they broke up. he also said he completely trusted her and all his friends liked her. he was totally in love with her and i think he thought she was perfect. when they broke up he was devastated and went through a really bad depression.

 

i feel like i will never compare to this girl and its going to ruin our relationship because he will not want to settle for less. i feel like he looks at me and knows hes had better, or if we argue he thinks to himself "me and **** never fought." has anyone else ever felt this way and what can i do about it?

[DN]

Of course you can't compare to her. But then she can't compare with you either. Don't worry about your boyfriend's relationship with her, it's over anyway. Just try to make sure your relationship with him is as good as both of you can make it.

[CarnelianButterfly]

If they broke up things weren't perfect, because perfect doesn't end.

 

I have no trouble with my BF's ex or the fact that he still good friends with her. She's an ex and he's with me, that's how it is.

[Dubb]

I would not worry about it. My ex called me the best BF she ever had but still left me. Just be you and if that is not enough he don't deserve you.

[sophie274]

The way he is talking about her to you (she's perfect, etc ...), it's no wonder you feel inferior. Have you ever asked him please not to talk about her?

 

Anyway, I went over your past threads, and this relationship just doesn't sound healthy. In your thread from about 10 days ago, you describe him as forcing your legs open to have sex with you, even though you have said no, and insisting on sex even though it hurts!!! That is not normal.

 

I hate telling you to break up with someone because it often seems extreme. However, this relationship is still quite young, and to me it sounds like he is not really over his ex, and like he seriously mistreats you (I might even qualify that as assault) in bed... Don't you think you might want to cut your losses?

[Scout]

The way he is talking about her to you (she's perfect, etc ...), it's no wonder you feel inferior. Have you ever asked him please not to talk about her?

 

Anyway, I went over your past threads, and this relationship just doesn't sound healthy. In your thread from about 10 days ago, you describe him as forcing your legs open to have sex with you, even though you have said no, and insisting on sex even though it hurts!!! That is not normal.

 

I hate telling you to break up with someone because it often seems extreme. However, this relationship is still quite young, and to me it sounds like he is not really over his ex, and like he seriously mistreats you (I might even qualify that as assault) in bed... Don't you think you might want to cut your losses?

 

You took the words right out of my mouth, Sophie.

 

missmebaby...isn't any of this stuff adding up to red flags for you?