theproman23 Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 To start with I am 23 years old. Never had sex, never had oral sex......sadly the farthest I've gotten is a make out session with the girl I am currently "with", but that's another story. I have the biggest fear in the world that I am not going to be able to live up to anything when it comes to sex. I've never had it, never gotten close to it and am afraid that I am gonna end up being a virgin for a long time. The other day the girl I am currently with and I started talking about sexual situations and I started thinking about my adequacy and other stuff. First, she is more experienced than I am and I am so fearful that I am not going to be sexually satisfying to her when the time does comes. Second, I am having trouble get past the fact that she's been with other sexual partners, but that's probably because I've never had any. She's does'nt sleep around or anything but she's been with about 4 guys she has been intimate with. Third, What is the average penis size? Mine is about 5 inches or so and from what I've been reading that's smaller than average. All these things keep going through my head and just have been causing havoc. I am confident in almost everything else I do cause I've had experience in them. Sex seems to be the one thing I am truly lacking in or I have convinced myself that that's the only thing I am really lacking in and at times it really depresses me. I am a successful college graduate with a great job with a great career ahead of me. I don't want to be a mess when the time comes and appreciate any thoughts and advice anyone has to offer. Link to comment
rainsreign Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 5 inches is absolutely fine!! And really, so many men are lacking in other categories, that you can please your lady so much in other ways, that it could pretty much not matter if you were 3 inches. Think about it!! Women become lesbians don't they?? There are obvious things about sex that are much more appealing to women than simple penises!! Don't focus on the penis! Regardless, with five inches you can do a lot of pleasing! Link to comment
shikashika Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 Its not the lack of sex, or oral sex experience.. nor is it the 5 inches... what I think may 'hold you back'... is that you sound like you lack confidence! You sound like you are smart, intelligent , have a conscience... just add a little confidence to that and I see a great person!! My last boyfriend had been with 1/3 of the people I was with, was 3 years younger, had almost zero relationship experience.. but didn't matter in the sack! Sometimes he would say things like "oh, your last guy was probably better.. wa wa wa!" What turned me off about it was not his lack of sexual partners, but the silly comments made above. If a girl likes you and wants to be with you... all you have to do is be able to communicate what you both like. Sexually every guy and girl like different things.. but everyone like communication!! Check out the sex & romance thread... half the people will say "I love having my balls licked.. its do wonderful and sensuous!.. others will say "oh no.. its so uncomfortable!" If you really feel you would like to check out some tips and techniques a nice site with positions, and forums is link removed p.s the biggest penis I ever saw didn't rate very high in my books! Link to comment
spirits Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 You're an honest guy. From how you described, you are very genuine and in-tuned with yourself. She's been with 4 other guys before, just don't be surprised there'd be a 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th... how old is she currently? I know you're taking this quite seriously, but some people just don't have the same mindset/paradigm as you when it comes to relationship and dating. Just don't see it as a life & death situation and you'll be fine. I know i'll get resistance by saying this. But don't lose scope of this perspective. Link to comment
Rabican Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 Several things. IF she measures you and finds you lacking in this department, and holds it against you... then you are better off without her. My advice is to just tell her that you are not very experienced... might want to wait until you are a little more... eh, closer to doing the deed. No need to bring it up yet if you are just kissing... she might thing you are jumping to conclusions. Link to comment
Deviant_Kate Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 You're not below average - there's absolutely nothing wrong with five inches. And don't worry about not being good at sex. You're biologically programmed for this stuff, and you'll learn as you go. Your girlfriend knows you're a virgin (if she doesn't, you should probably let her know if you guys are going to have sex), and she should understand that you're new at this and nervous. There's a good chance she'll guide you and help you figure out what she likes. You'll be fine. Link to comment
theproman23 Posted March 29, 2007 Author Share Posted March 29, 2007 Thank you for all the advice. I really do appreciate it. Honestly this really does build my confidence. I think I'll be ok but just need to be patient and just look forward to the good times. And I think you guys are right, if she really does like me and she deserves me and I deserve her than she'll understand that I am inexperienced and guide me to build me confidence. We've talked about it and she said I am like "putty" lol which is good cause I don't know what I like yet and can explore and be adventerous. Now I hear the first time most people ar'nt that good and just need experience and practice at it. I feel like I need to be a bit under the influence to calm my nerves. She's 23 right now and is an amazing person. I think about her all the time. Link to comment
Deviant_Kate Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 Now I hear the first time most people ar'nt that good and just need experience and practice at it. I feel like I need to be a bit under the influence to calm my nerves. Just don't go overboard - alcohol can bring a whole new batch of problems to the bedroom (including the inability to get/keep an erection). Link to comment
Outdoorcrazy Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 Hey man, don't worry about all this. The reality is that if u truly care about her, and she truly cares about you, your lack of experience will not matter. Think about this; EVERYONE has a first time, so she has been there too, not know what to do that is! Like u said yourself, you comfortable with other things because you have experience in them, well this is no different! If it really bothers u that much, talk to her about it, sex is a big commitment, so if you cant talk to her about it then maybe you shouldnt be taking the next step, IMO. As for your size, i would say that ur normal, but in reality thats not as important as how you go about things. Have heard comedians joke about how women are like diesel engines? Whether you have or not, its true. Take things slow with her, not only because its your first time, but because she will have a much better time like that. Self control when it comes to sex is amazing. Dont just hump into it, your goal should be to please her, putting your own pleasure second. If you warm her up, tease her, get heavy, then back off, then get heavy again, and keep it mixed up, you will have her so ready to go that your size will not matter to her at all!! Good Luck man, and make sure that its enjoyable for both of you! Link to comment
ancatdubh Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 Dude you're gonna be just fine. First of all, the fact that you are even concerned about pleasing a woman is going to put you light years ahead of a lot of other guys. Second, 5" is more than plenty. A LOT can't accommodate any more than that so anything over 5" is wasted anyway. Third, the fact that she has some experience is actually going to help you, she'll have a better idea how to help you. By all means tell her exactly what is bothering you. I'm SURE she'll be more than happy to help, and likely will be turned on by your honesty. Just don't apologize for anything... just tell her straight up what you need, a little guidance, a little understanding... if she can't do that then forget her you deserve better. You sound like a really good guy. Now go have some FUN with this! Link to comment
theproman23 Posted April 2, 2007 Author Share Posted April 2, 2007 You guys are awesome, all this advice builds my confidence beyond belief. This girl is amazing and awesome, that's why I am more confident that she is willing to be with me even though I am inexperienced. she's even said it's a good thing cause than we can explore and that just makes things even better . You guys are really awesome cause you are nailing it right on the head and just saying the right things! Thank you so much all. I believe the moment won't for a bit but I can wait. Sex is not the most important thing for me by any means. Many reasons why I am a virgin so far is because I want to make sure it's the right person and someone I love rather than some fling. Thanks again! Link to comment
ancatdubh Posted April 3, 2007 Share Posted April 3, 2007 Glad to hear it's of help to you. Just remember, you will probably have a few awkward, clumsy 'attempts' before you finally find your groove. This is normal. Don't let it bother you. Just have fun. Your girl sounds awesome and you're lucky to be starting out with someone like that. Link to comment
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