letting go

[elithepi]

2 days. (that cliche NC thing)

trying to move on.

been really hard.

 

I've been torn up for three months now.

hurting very badly.

 

here I go.

will update.

[renaissancewoman101]

It's hard to let go, esp when the memories of them are so vivid in your mind and things remind you of them.

 

I wish you luck.

[Wandering_Sword]

I understand the pain. Keep strong and we're with you

[terk2021]

2 days. (that cliche NC thing)

trying to move on.

been really hard.

 

I've been torn up for three months now.

hurting very badly.

 

here I go.

will update.

 

I am sorry to here what you are going through. You have support out here, so keep posting. It's been 8 months since my ex broke my heart, but only 2 months of NC. I really am starting to heal now. You are doing the right thing. It sucks to have a heart sometimes, because it gets broken. There is someone out there for you. The best thing I can say is don't beat yourself up. I did it for so long. You will get yourself back, and when you are ready, the right one will come along.

 

Terk

[Shiva 2007]

Hang in there Helitepi, I understand it's difficult so I'll share with you some words that seem to have helped me today- (mind you I don't know the circumnstances of your break-up, so I apologize in advance if I'm out of line) consider this pain the price you are paying for your freedom from something that didn't wouldn't is never going to work. It really hit the nail on the head for me. Some relationships are just very damaging for our sense of self, our self esteem, sense of self worth, and the list goes on and on.....I for one, chose for a very long time to wear blinders, and I chose to stay in a loveless relationship for what I believed at the time was for security (ha), now in my life I much rather a one night stand, I surround myself by positive people who believe that love is not finite, that we all have an abondance of love to give. if I get lonely I hug my puppy, at this time of my live I don't trust any one could really love the way I wish love should be.

[Shiva 2007]

yes well JT, I've wondered the same thing, it's all relative I guess.

[elithepi]

I don't know I just really don't get this whole NC thing.

 

I didn't get it at first either and people kept telling me to do it and everyone (almost) preaches about it.

I didn't want and still don't want to never speak to her.

I have gotten to a point of, whenever I speak to her things are so contrived and it rips me apart.

3rd day....

[catren]

I do believe that a period of NC is essential to get some distance from the situation and to start thinking rationally again.

 

As long as I was in contact with my ex, I just kept being reminded of what I wanted and couldn't have. I kept hurting so much and I couldn't think about anything but him. I was caught up in the hurricane of my feelings. NC allowed me to come to a better acceptance that it was over and to start thinking more clearly.

[elithepi]

I do believe that a period of NC is essential to get some distance from the situation and to start thinking rationally again.

 

As long as I was in contact with my ex, I just kept being reminded of what I wanted and couldn't have. I kept hurting so much and I couldn't think about anything but him. I was caught up in the hurricane of my feelings. NC allowed me to come to a better acceptance that it was over and to start thinking more clearly.

 

I couldn't have said it better. Thanks. It's how I've been feeling exactly.

I actually feel a bit of a load off my back since I've decided to stay firm with this.

[NaNOx9]

I couldn't have said it better. Thanks. It's how I've been feeling exactly.

I actually feel a bit of a load off my back since I've decided to stay firm with this.

 

You'll probably have your good days and bad if you're like me; I'm on day 5, first 4 days were pretty good cause I was angry and that helped, today kinda sucked. Still angry but missing her despite all the B.S. she's put me through.

[elithepi]

I'm sick and tired of the bad days.

Had my fill of them.

 

Time for forward thinking.

Basically the same stuff I've told others and others told me on here for the past 3 months.

 

But yes, there will be bad days and that's when I know I am not forward thinking.

[SoontobeRN]

Hey Elithepi...

I read your posts, and in any situation in life, there's ups and downs. That goes without saying, however, the bad days only make you realize that you DO INDEED HAVE good days. Without the bad days, you wouldn't recognize the good days....so eventhough they are hard to get through sometimes, know that you have a good day coming your way soon

 

Keep Going...The end is near!!!!

STB

[elithepi]

Top of the morning to ya!

Happy St. Patrick's day!

What a great day!

day 4 for my happy self.

[elithepi]

Pets are awesome.

My ex had several cats. I really dig them.

Sometimes I wonder if it's them that I miss so much rather than her.

[Shiva 2007]

yes and so are dogs, I had a date come over one evening and my puppy was grawling at him, I agreed with her decision

[Shiva 2007]

So Dan is your cat still with you now?

[elithepi]

I need to get my own place.

I may move to Memphis, TN if a job pans out.

I'll get a kitty. If I got a dor it would have to be a small one. Unless I had a big yard.

 

But I do believe that is the key to helping me move on; my own place.

A place with lots of sunlight and hardwood floors. And a big kitchen.

[Wotgorilla]

So Dan is your cat still with you now?

 

He sure is! I wouldn't give him up for anything, or anyone!

[Shiva 2007]

good for you Dan, pets are absolutely fab. they know when we are hurting.

Good luck and hope you can find your way to happiness again, hang in there

[Wotgorilla]

I need to get my own place.

I may move to Memphis, TN if a job pans out.

I'll get a kitty. If I got a dor it would have to be a small one. Unless I had a big yard.

 

But I do believe that is the key to helping me move on; my own place.

A place with lots of sunlight and hardwood floors. And a big kitchen.

 

That sounds like a great idea, take care of you!

 

I highly reccommend a cat, having a pet to love makes all the difference in my life.

[elithepi]

I'm obsessing today.....

I have a feeling and I want to confirm my instincts.

I have absolutely no basis, just a gut feeling.

I've noticed that my gut tends to be correct many times.

any guidance?

[elithepi]

I know this is silly and yes, it's been over 3 months.

I want to know if she is seeing whom my gut tells me she is seeing.

I only want to know this to see if I can trust my instincts.

Again, I have absolutely no basis, juast a feeling.

Something is telling me this.

 

They didn't know each other when I was with her.

 

Something just tells me this, I don't know why.....hence my acknowledgement of obsessing.

[Wotgorilla]

I know it's hard to not obsess about that, but try. Believe me it's easy for your mind to wander to thought of who your ex may or may not be seeing, but thinking about that (or trying to confirm your suspicions) will only add to your hurt. Do anything you can to try not to think about it. Letting go of those thoughts, or doing your best to, is the best thing.

 

When I find myself thinking that way, I quickly stop myself and say "who gives a F**K???"

 

Try it. It might help. We're here for you!

 

Dan on Long Island

[elithepi]

I know...who gives a F***?

I just want to know if I'm right.

That's all.

to confirm or deny.

It wouldn't hurt me.

I just want to know if I'm correct in my instinctual feeling.

To see if I'm really in tune.

[Shiva 2007]

elithepi, sometimes not knowing is a whole lot better then knowing, trust me on this one. You would be a lot better off putting your energy on someone who cares, or do something to distract yourself, something fun, something that always seems to work (a run maybe, working out, reading a book) what do you like to do?