I Can't Interpret Her Behavior after Break Up!!!

[GrandmasterPRA]

I was with this girl for 2 years. I am a very level headed person and I never yelled at her and I never cheated or even came close to cheating, so she never really had a reason to hate me. I was controlling though, so part of me understands why she broke up with me because you can't control a high school girl. She got all caught up in her senior year and didn't realize how dumb most of the high school crap is. Okay, so she broke up with me, and I asked her what I did wrong and she said nothing. I found out 3 days later that she was with someone else. I emberassed myself the first couple days by showing up at her house and work and making big mistakes, but I never yelled at her. Finally, I initiated no contact. After 2 weeks I got a friend request from her on myspace. I didn't accept it. Eventually she sent me a text message saying "hi" I replied and she asked me how I was and I said good and that was that. I was talking to her friend on myspace and she asked me why me and my ex were texting each other. I told her I dont know, but at least she isn't threatening to call the cops on me anymore (yeah, I wouldn't stop texting her so she threatened to call the cops). Then I get a text message a couple days later from my ex saying, "No I don't want to call the cops on you anymore lol". I didn't respond. Then all of a sudden, AT 3 in the morning, I get a phone call. It was from some guy I didn't even know, and this guy called me to tell me that he doesn't like guys who treat girls like {Mod Edit} and that my ex was drunk and hooked up with somebody. I just told him that I was going back to bed and I hung up. Now, my ex is with somebody else so why would I be getting a call like this? I haven't heard from her since (less than a week), but I'm just confused why she would be tellling people that I treated her like {Mod Edit} when she knows I didn't. And why did she even bother to make somebody call me when she has a boyfriend?

[Siriana]

I was controlling though, so part of me understands why she broke up with me because you can't control a high school girl. She got all caught up in her senior year and didn't realize how dumb most of the high school crap is.

 

but at least she isn't threatening to call the cops on me anymore (yeah, I wouldn't stop texting her so she threatened to call the cops).

 

why she would be tellling people that I treated her like {Mod Edit} when she knows I didn't.

 

 

Well to me looks like you were controlling and it is abusive in a way.

 

You can't control high school girl as well as you can't control anyone else.

 

High school crap is dumb in case you finished high school. When you're in high school thats your life and your problems so it's not reasonable to expect a high school girl to realize how dumb most of her high school crap is. Actually expecting that is patronizing and belittling her.

 

About the cops - aren't you a control freak for texting so much?

 

I have no idea about the call.

The only thing i can say is ignore.

Everything that comes from her ignore.

It would cause problems to stay in any sort of contact with her.

[mca1975]

yes, i agree. if you were controlling, then this probably made her feel suffocated and she wanted out. its not a very nice feeling to make someone feel controlled and under pressure, in fact, its horrible, and it puts someone under immense pressure and guilt, but at the same time, i can understand why people are controlling and its something that is very hard not to do when you feel so insecure, which needs therapy to get over. this girl is obviously young and she probably misses you in some ways, but doesnt miss the way the relationship was, thats why she is probably texting you and making contact. but yes, no contact is the way forward.

 

good luck

[GrandmasterPRA]

The whole calling the cops thing pissed me off. All I did was leave her a text message saying we needed to talk because she broke up with me and she was completely ignoring me. I left her a message saying that she still has a bunch of her stuff at my house and I still have a bunch of stuff at her house and that she can't just dump me without getting everything figured out first. She replied by saying that she didn't want to talk to me and I need to leave her alone or she will call the cops. So I thought she was acting extremely immature about the whole thing.

[mca1975]

hi grandmasterpa

 

Can we talk further as I have just come out of a relationship where my ex was controlling and I wondered if I could ask you some questions to get a different take on it?

 

thanks

[mca1975]

when you break up with someone, its hard, but no contact is the only way. obviously there will be some discussion at the time of the break up, but you do have to leave each other alone. hard I know. as you were controlling, i suspect that she may have been a bit fearful of you and she is young, so maybe that is why she called the cops. dont blame her for it.

[Siriana]

I left her a message saying that she can't just dump me without getting everything figured out first

 

Yes, she can because she dumped you after figuring it all out.

Thats controlling sentence.

[GrandmasterPRA]

can we talk further as I have just come out of a relationship where my ex was controlling and I wondered if I could ask you some questions to get a different take on it?

 

Sure. For the record...my ex was just as controlling as I was, but I didn't really have a problem with it because I took it as her caring about me. I guess she took it a completely different way. Plus I was against drinking and all of that and all of her friends are big drinkers, so I guess she wanted to get into all of that without feeling guilty.

[mca1975]

i get you grandmaster. i too was really into him and would get very jealous but he was way more controlling than I was.

[GrandmasterPRA]

The part that makes me mad is I was supportive of her even after I found out she was with someone else. I told her that I wish she would have told me the truth, but I said that i wasn't mad at her and told her to just be careful. (This guy has been arrested before, he drinks a lot). My mom has been checking my ex's myspace for some reason. I stay away from it. My mom told me that they hardly talk, and I heard this from someone in college who knows him too. I just don't get how she can be mad at me when she is the one who broke up with me and I eventually gave her the space she asked for. I only chased after her for 3 days after the break up and then I left her alone. I just don't know if I should hold onto any hope, or just forget about her completely. It's tough because we spent every waking moment together for 2 years and now I'm supposed to just pretend she doesn't exist? The whole thing sucks.