Can You Relate?

[RegallyBlonde]

So it seems as time passes, the more I wonder how it's possible to even meet someone. I guess that's what I get for being so busy...yet I think about how so many people around me are in relationships and even those who became single while I was single met someone once again.

 

It's good to look back and be thankful that I'm taking things slow, but then again there has been a dead hault when it comes to dating for a long time now. I'd really just like to have someone to talk to and confide in. Because I'm busy I haven't spent much quality time with my friends (and of course they have been busy too). Even though my friends have been busy they still manage to spend time with their boyfriends. I guess what I'm saying is that in simple terms I want a committed friendship, but that takes time. And well, I actually have to meet the guy first.

 

I'm sure many of you may have similar thoughts. I would just like to see what you all had to say.

[quietgrl]

RegallyBlonde,

 

I understand how you feel about finding reliable friends and boyfriend but most people in today social are very unreliable. How can a person find friends and a boyfriend.I guess by being yourself and getting out there meeting people.

[Batya33]

When I was in my early 20s, I met men through friends, at school, and one through a written personal ad, who I dated seriously for 2 years. I was not beautiful by any means but I loved to dance and socialize and I had several close girlfriends and a few guy friends. For part of that time I went to school full time where I met people too.

 

Remember it's quality not quantity - finding "someone" can just be finding a "warm body" and as you can see for some of your friends it's a revolving door.

[Leonhart]

Of course I can relate to that.

 

Male or not, I can definitely understand where you're coming from.

 

Feels like life is kind of passing you by. Everyone else is getting together but you. Yeah, I've been there. Being busy is one thing, but as you said, people still get together, even in the midst of that.

 

I don't really have any encouragement, just saying that I know what you're saying. It also depends on WHERE you're looking, if anywhere, so that may have something to do with it.

[RegallyBlonde]

Where I am looking?

 

Well I'm not even looking, but in a way I am.

 

I haven't been going to many social events since I've been busy and my close friends seem to be preoccupied with their boyfriends and their own lives.

 

But then again I'm looking because I see so many people around me with somebody, which leads me to question myself sometimes.

 

I know what your thinking, which is 'well of course if she's not out meeting people than she won't meet anyone' . This is somewhat true, but a lot of environments my friends go to I don't feel comfortable in (like clubs and bars). Plus, I don't live near many of my friends (I commute to school and so I spend a lot of my time driving).

 

It's true, quantity shouldn't matter but I would like to at least meet someone. Maybe I'm not putting myself out there enough because I'm afraid...who knows? I'm pretty much by myself all the time (except being around my wonderful family) and sometimes it's just difficult to realize, that's all.

[Batya33]

Can your family ask around to see if their friends or friends of friends' sons would be suitable for you - or if anyone knows anyone? Given that they are so wonderful they probably have wonderful friends, yes?

[RegallyBlonde]

Well an old friend of the family told my mom about a young man, but I never met him and my parents haven't talked to her in awhile. But I just talked to my mom today about getting together for a Bible study and that I wanted to go (but I wasn't thinking about the young man). My parents don't try to set me up with anyone because they don't like pressuring me in any way, but I notice that I tend to get together with guys if I'm introduced to them by other people.

[ghost69]

well, you have described the problem already. you don't have any free time. you aren't even hanging out with your friends. do you think a guy just falls from the sky into your home?

[RegallyBlonde]

The only difference is that I would make time.

 

But you have a valid point. By the end of the day I am exhausted and just want to stay home much of the time since I am very busy. However, I still call my friends to try and get together! It's just that many of them spend their free time with their boyfriends.

 

I just don't know how to really go about it since I can't go seaching for Mr. Right, yet I need to open myself up somehow. I guess I just need to go in a direction, but I've tried already and am tired of "looking", but I do need to make myself available somehow.

[StillClimbing]

suggestions for meeting new people:

 

1)link removed or yahoo personals or link removed...or something similar (I know, sounds cheesey or scary, but it's not! This is the internet age, my dear...I did it and so did all my girlfriends...we are all cute, smart, good people and we all met nice men on there. 3 of my dates have become pretty good friends and they have been introducing me to their guy friends...always expanding circle.)

 

2)join some clubs...(hiking club, church group, whatver is your interest)

 

3) ask your friends' boyfriends if they know anyone nice!

 

4) keep you weeks balanced with work/school AND fun stuff. Always have fun stuff planned...concerts? PLays? Festivals? Dinner Parties (have your friends over and have them bring their friends!)?

 

We all feel that impatience to find a good match. But think of it as a fun time to do the things you like to do. Whatever your interests, follow them fully and you might find some cool guys along the way!

 

Best of luck!

 

And don't say you are tired of looking. You are way too young to say that. Life only gets more challenging as you grow older with bigger and bigger responsibilites. You gotta learn how to manage your time so there is plenty of room for fun. Cut out TV. Cut out moping. Add in exercise and events. Dont throw your hand up int he air and expect things to drop into your lap. Just doesnt work that way. Everything takes effort. So wipe the fatigue off your brow and get busy girl!!

[ghost69]

then make some time to venture outside of the home.