sunstylez Posted March 4, 2007 Share Posted March 4, 2007 Hi... I'm 17 years old and my girlfriend is 16. She's only a sophmore at our highschool and I'm graduated.. Well we've been dating for 4 years... and we love each other.. or I love her... She's been acting weird ever since she brought up prom... someone asked her to prom, "a friend", and didn't even bother to mention it to me until i found out... At first I didn't really see it as a big deal...but i never went to my proms because she didn't meet the grade requirements... just the fact of another guy w/ her makes me highly upset.. and sorta jealous.. it hurt really bad knowing the fact she didn't even consider to ask me how i felt about it... or try to talk about it... and i thought we were in a committed relationship.. i mean i was thinking of marrying her it truly broke my heart. i mean... am I wrong for being upset? or am I being inconsiderate of her wanting to enjoy high school? And I've always noticed something... like when we are together or parting while around other people... she's embarrassed or ashamed... or something.... to say i love you... i don't get it... i love her.. completely.. i mean.... i'm proud at the fact i love her.. and i'm confident i do... but is this bad? or something i should worry about? she's always talking about... how we should talk about our issues and problems and i really try. but when we do, she never has any input... it's always, " I don't know what to say"... Then she says I'm always putting the blame on her... when it's never intentional.. I mean.. gosh I was a really shy guy before I met her... and still am.. she's opened me up and made me see things a lot differently.. but i really just don't think i have.. any.... impact on her at all... except maybe regret i've been so depressed lately thinking about all this.. and yet have talked to her about it... and when we do.. it always blows up in my face as me doing something wrong WHAT AM I DOING WRONG..... if someone would just please give me some kind of.... experience... or... input from their P.O.V. what I should do... i mean.. not given i'd do it, just any bit of input would help. thanks guys. I KNOW THERE IS PROBABLY AT least 1 person out there.. maybe.. going through what i'm going through. Link to comment
isidore Posted March 4, 2007 Share Posted March 4, 2007 How old were you two when you started dating? Gosh! I must have been a late bloomer. Anyway, let her go to her prom (they were invented for girls anyway). Doesn't mean you can't go to the parties later. I'd be worried about anyone who's incapable of saying "I love you" to their boyfriend/girlfriend in the presense of others. My advice to you would be to date as many girls as possible. You might marry this girl someday, but wait until your at least 35 to ask her. I'm scaring myself: I sound like my dad. Link to comment
musicguy Posted March 4, 2007 Share Posted March 4, 2007 proms were invente for girls? Link to comment
musicguy Posted March 4, 2007 Share Posted March 4, 2007 proms were invented for girls? Link to comment
sunstylez Posted March 4, 2007 Author Share Posted March 4, 2007 man i think you're right Link to comment
sophie274 Posted March 4, 2007 Share Posted March 4, 2007 It seems like you two have talked about it - sounds like she really wants to go but feel conflicted about it because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings? It's definitely not good that she didn't talk to you about it, but I could see why she might be worried to bring it up. Are you ok with her going with another guy? I went to my high school prom, and it was totally unromantic - I doubt they would fall in love over this one night! If I were you, I would tell her to go, but maybe you two can plan a special date night together where you both dress up? I think it's compatible for you to want to marry her and for her to go with another guy - as long as he knows that it is strictly platonic. It's hard to tell from your posts whether you are just feeling a bit insecure about the relationship, or whether she is actually pulling away. Are there other issues in her life that might be putting her down? Sounds to me like your relationship may be a bit stale - time to reinject some life into it! Plan some fun things, stop talking about problems and just enjoy each other ... About saying I love you - did she used to say it in front of others? If she never has, then I don't think you have much to worry about. I love my boyfriend very much, but I have never ever said it in front of anyone else, or even said it to him when I was on the phone with him and others could hear. I am a very shy private person, and saying I love you is an intimate moment for me - and I don't want anyone else to share in it! Link to comment
sunstylez Posted March 4, 2007 Author Share Posted March 4, 2007 Well as for the fun things.. it's like recently she's been putting me off for her friends.. we only really hang out now once a week.. which sucks.. but i understand if she wants to enjoy her time w/ her friends. we did have some trust issues.. because she lied to me about a few things.. so i mean.. the past month actually hasn't been that great.. the i love you thing.. i mean.. i'm very proud that i love her. it just hurts when i say it and she doesn't say it back.. instead she'll say k and bye, then later to receive a text message on my cell saying sorry i love you... i have no problem being affectionate in public.. i mean.. not too affectionate.. but stating i love you to me is a big thing. but the whole prom thing i really wanted to share those types of moments w/ her.. and to picture another guy sharing those moments just kills me inside. but i did tell her to just go and have fun.. i'm not going to stop her from doing things.. i want her to be happy. but all your advice has been helpful guys and i appreciate it thank you Link to comment
musicguy Posted March 4, 2007 Share Posted March 4, 2007 I understand how it would hurt you that she wouldn't wanna spend time with you on Prom and with another guy..that happened to me when I asked my crush out my Senior year and she went with a friend of mine. Saying I love you back-maybe she feels that she wants to keep it pirvate between you and her, she's probably shy about it. I wouldn't force her to say to you in public. She knows she loves you, she miight not want to say it all the time to you. Link to comment
sunstylez Posted March 4, 2007 Author Share Posted March 4, 2007 god.. i really messed up.. i don't know how things are like this now.. but i just got off the phone w/ her.. and we had an argument.. she says i never try to talk to her or come see her.. when it's the complete opposite.. it ended with her saying don't even try talking to me.. lol god this has envolved into another problem! what do i do i don't want to push her away.. Link to comment
musicguy Posted March 4, 2007 Share Posted March 4, 2007 let her cool down and contact her again Link to comment
sunstylez Posted March 5, 2007 Author Share Posted March 5, 2007 yeah.. then she broke up w/ me. -.- Link to comment
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