Am I Being Too Sensitive To Her Rude Comment?

[northwoods]

So I made a comment to my girlfriend a week ago while we were out that she looks so happy and in love when she takes pictures with me. (We were reviewing the pics from the day on the camera). Her affection and joy come out with every picture.

 

We had my camera 'cause her ex was borrowing her camera. They stay in touch b/c they have a child together.

 

She got the camera back yesterday and was reviewing the pics that the ex failed to delete when he was done using it. She made the comment how he looks so happy with the new girlfriend.

 

Immediately after that comment she said that I look just as happy with her as I do in any picture she had seen of me with an ex-anything (whether girlfriend or just friend or whatever).

 

I wouldn't have found it so insulting if I hadn't just paid her a compliment only to find that she feels that way about her ex rather than me.

 

Am I just being over-sensitive?

[amtjrtcet]

I wouldn't worry about it. You may have taken what she said the wrong way. I don't really know.....sounds like she used a poor choice of words. Other then that I'd let it go.

[Honey Pumpkin]

I'm sorry, I read that twice and I couldn't see any insult. Maybe it's just me being thick, but I honestly can't see that she's being especially rude to you, just saying that her ex looks happy; you all look happy in photos, so you're all happy with your new photos? Sorry, maybe I'm just not getting it, but I don't think there is any insult there.

[Gus Almighty]

Women can be in a train of thought and sometimes weird, out of the blue things like that pop out. I would just ignore it for now.

 

Although it would kinda bug me probably too.

[northwoods]

Thanks guys. She's just always comparing me to him (not with any meaning behind it, she just spent many years with him and I'm the first serious boyfriend since their split more than a yr & half ago). I just felt insulted that, in her eyes, he looks so happy with his new girlfriend but I don't even appear happy to her, with her.

 

I appreciate the quick replies!

[shellshocked]

You said she looked happy in the pics of the two of you.

 

She said the ex looked happy with the new gf.

She said you look happy in pics with her and in pics with your exes.

 

I'm not seeing an insult either.

[isisastaria]

i REALLY REALLY wish I could complain about something like this right about now. you're lucky to have a great relationship! Don't worry about this kind of stuff. It'll just result in a crappy relationship

[Maverick32x]

agreed... my insult detector is NOT activating!!! you're safe!!!!

 

It sounds like she was just saying that you always look happy in your pictures~

[Scout]

I'm not seeing an insult, exactly, but I'm seeing an observation that is not necessarily in your favor. It seems to me what she is saying is that she is unsure she makes you happier than anyone else has. Maybe this is an insecurity she has that you two should talk about to see if something deeper is going on.

 

I agree with Dako, that comment would bug me a bit, too.

[northwoods]

I feel better already - thanks guys.

[itsallgrand]

Yeah, it would kinda bug me too. Though I wouldn't necessarily say it is an insult of any sort. Sounds like she just isn't filtering so much of what is going through her head and it comes out her mouth. Which isn't really a bad thing if someone feels they can speak freely with you.

 

Umm, yeah. I guess what would bother me is if, like you mentioned, she really is comparing vocally you and her ex a lot of the time.

 

It makes me kinda raise an eyebrow that her and the ex are using the same cam to take pictures of their respective partners, and ooops, he just forgets to delete big happy pics of him and the gf. * * *? That is not so cool, not really necessary.

 

It's complicated, I'm sure, because they share a child together. But how often is she reminded of Ex and His Happy Life and GF?

Being constantly reminded can have a toll on the amount of brainspace a person gives the past and the amount of comparing the goes on.

 

You said she is happy. So just remember that. Try not to take her workings out personally - actions speak louder and she is happy with you.

[heloladies21]

She made the comment how he looks so happy with the new girlfriend.

I'd be mighty powerful upset just with this.

 

What's it to her if he looks happy with his new gf? Read between the lines, he's still on her mind and in her heart. Immediately I'd adress something like this.

 

As for the other statement, that deserved some kind of response, not too harsh though. But it did bug you so it needed to be clarified. A simple "What do you mean" and you'd show her that it affected you (which is what you want because it's the truth).