love or bust!?

[ashlynn00]

ok here goes.......

I have been w/ my boyfriend about 2yrs now. We know our love is there for each other, but we don't say it. I have brought it up before, and he is scared to say it because he says its a strong work, which I understand. I am just trying to figure out if he does love me. Most people don't have a problem saying it, if they don't love someone. I care for him deeply and do love him very much, I am just trying to figure out if he feels the same. He has told me he loves me a few times when he's drunk.....but I duno if to take it seriously when someone is drunk! let me know any thoughts on this issue

[Cyberchick]

Maybe he does mean it when he's drunk, but I think it's more important to go by his actions when he's sober. How does he treat you when you are sober?

 

It took my bf a long time to say it to me --- about 10 monthas. I said it to him long before he said it to me and he would usually respond in a loving way without actually saying it to me. And he always treated me in a way that showed me his love. He finally said it to me at 10 months. He had only ever said to one person in his life --- his mom. It took him awhile because he had issues wuth the word itself, but now it comes easily to him.

 

What's really holding your bf back from saying it? Has he been hurt in the past? It IS a strong word, but you've been together a long time. That kind of committment is strong in itself.

[JoeWho]

If he has spent two years with you, then one could assume that he loves you. I do find it a bit odd that he doesnt feel comfortable telling you he loves you after such a long time being with you. Do you feel that he loves you? Have you talked to him about this?

[ashlynn00]

he treats me wonderful.... we talk about a future.... living together..... and all that stuff.... He has NEVER been in a serious relationship....so maybe that's whats holding him back.... I can see he loves me..... but sometimes I just wonder why someone cannot say the love word!

[Invective]

Y'know, it's been said that of all the things alcohol might make you do, dishonesty is not one of them. That could be bad advice...

 

But most people lose their inhibitions when inebriated. So he could just be letting down his guard when he's drunk, and that means he's being truthful when he says he loves you

 

I always dislike the debates over saying 'I love you', I mean it's all relative to the person saying it, words mean diff things to diff people.

[VeganBohemian]

ok here goes.......

I have been w/ my boyfriend about 2yrs now. We know our love is there for each other, but we don't say it. I have brought it up before, and he is scared to say it because he says its a strong work, which I understand. I am just trying to figure out if he does love me. Most people don't have a problem saying it, if they don't love someone. I care for him deeply and do love him very much, I am just trying to figure out if he feels the same. He has told me he loves me a few times when he's drunk.....but I duno if to take it seriously when someone is drunk! let me know any thoughts on this issue

 

You've been with him for 2 YEARS and you haven't said you love one another? Jeez...I mean, if you don't know by now, how long is it going to take?

[MissTee]

My bf told me that he loves me for the first time when he was drunk! It made him more confident....

 

However, when we woke up the next morning... he said it again.

 

I think your bf is just scared.

[Altruist]

Yes, he's just scared to say it. Some people are just not used to such intimate words. It all has to do with past relationships and our family background. If he never saw his parents expressing their love for each other verbally, then chances are high that it will be uncomfortable for him to say it to someone.

On the other hand, all the unwritten rules that are all over the net about 'not telling a girl that you love her because it will kill the attraction' may have gotten to him and made him scared that he might lose you if he tells you.

 

The fact that he says it when he's drunk is an affirmation that he loves you.