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folks want me to date-late late bloomer having a hard time now

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Well this week my cousin who is in his mid 30's will be getting married. Yaayy free food. hehe

Well that when aunts, uncles from my mom's side will be bothering me as to why i don't have a gf . i'm in my mid 20's. funny thing is growing up they never cared about dating, and girls-but school, school, marks and staying at home on a friday night, and all day weekends. school was like number one to them. this carried on from elementary to college. As a whole i never went out with friends, had any friends to hang out with, or even any friends at school-this was on fri , sat, sun and even summer, spring breaks. just stayed at home and used the computer, watched tv and studied. unforuntately academics wasn't my thing. i went to community college instead and obtained a diploma. i was a complete loner. yup yup.


now back to today. aunts, uncles come in to visist us today. And guess what they ask -"why Joe , don't you have a gf" . later in the day and weeks past i guess the aunts , uncles tell my mom -as to that Joe needs to date and have a gf.

Now my mom tells me as to go start dating, finding a gf, and how married life is way better than single life.


In my mind i'm like ah so now you tell me hey. You can't just tell me to change and go get a gf. Its hard when your sheltered, lived a anti social life, wasn't given the social skills growing up to go get a date and also go get a gf. I can't change overnight. Its like b/c most of my cousins are getting married, they ask when i will marry. lol i like a guy in his mid 20's with like 13 year old dating and yes no gf experience. lol marriage.


some guys can get girls very easily b/c they have experience and start dating at 17 or what not. i started at 24 and i met all of em off the internet-myspace, plentyoffish. they all didn't last at all-3 dates on average.


man that just ticks me off. its like overnight to go and change. I mean even if i do find a girl, my folks would criticize her if she didn't speak cantonese(what we speakl), if its not that its something else. why don;t do go get a honger girl, then i do get one, its why don't u go get a cbc girl. then its shes too young , a little too old. i now them its always something wrong with something with em and ppl.

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Joe, they all seem to have wanted what they thought was best for you. They kept you in and working hard because they thought doing that would lead to you having a better job and future. Now, they want to see you fill out what they see as the picture in which you will be happy. Nothing really wrong with that, because it is just them wanting you happy. Unless, your picture of you happy really differs frm their pciture of you happy.


If you want to date, then you will need to get out there and change some things. Haivng been here on this board for a while, I know there are those, including myself, who will try to help you learn how to do that. So what do you want?

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It's a lot harder than most people think to become social when you're not. Some key rules when socializing:


-Don't rattle on about yourself.

-Ask other people questions about themselves.

-Don't be too "serious", be more light and funny even if that is making fun of yourself, the person you're talking to, or the events around you.

-Smile a lot.

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I'm going to take a different approach in answering this question than the others may.


I've noticed that people who are in relationships seem uneasy around those who are perfectly content without them. I myself will confess to being on both sides of it. I liken it to a person who is an avid coffee drinker who meets up with someone who avoids caffeine religiously. If they are the type of person who enjoys a cup when they can, a caffeine abstainer doesn't bother them in the least. If they are the type who can't go an hour or two without their fix, they become uncomfortable around someone who doesn't even sip a diet soda from time to time.


They are partially jealous of your solitude and comfort in being "one who walks alone" (for the time being). Plus, I've noticed that when parents talk to other parents, its a badge of honor to have all of the children out of the house and happily married. Its hard for a parent to boast of how happy their child is unless they have the commonly accepted attributes to, well... attribute the happiness to (ie, marriage, high-paying job, high-profile career, etc.)

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