Why are girls so hard to understand?

[TheFoglifter]

My gf asked me once and only once whether I thought she looked fat in something, and I gave her a frank and honest answer. I said:

 

"You already believe what you want to believe, so what difference does it make?"

 

She got the message loud and clear, and now when she asks my opinion about clothes, she only asks REAL questions like "do these go well together".

 

The other option, of course, is to say: "the pants don't make you look fat, your HUMUNGOUS * * * makes you look fat".

[freeindeed]

If we had awards on enotalone for funniest post....this one would win.

 

You guys crack me up!

[LostInMyThoughts]

My understanding is that when someone asks that, what they're really looking for is validation. Sometimes looking for validation is okay, so I'm okay with giving it.

 

They might be asking "Do you still find me beautiful?"

[LostInMyThoughts]

Also, lol @ other posters

[fnlyfrei]

Back to the unemployed biker banging thing...what did that have to do with interpretation of a female? I guess as a female the biggest frustration would be talking for ten minutes about something...pausing for an answer from him on a relatively important subject and he finally peels his eyes off the telly long enough to grunt...."Hunh?"

[TheFoglifter]

I agree that sometimes the women who ask "does this make me look fat" are seeking validation, but the beauty of my answer is that it frees you from choosing an answer that is designed to trap you.

 

It has been my experience that if you say "no, you look great" when she already believes she looks fat, she will say "oh you're just saying that". Obviously if you say "yes" then you are up the creek! Even if it is true, she'll say "how can you say that!!!"

 

One of the big differences between men and women is that men seek solutions while women seek emotional comfort. If a man was told "dude, you are packing on some weight there" he would more likely be motivated to find a solution -- eating better, working out more... Most women, not all, but most, who receive the same criticism would go into defense mode and lash out at the man for being a cruel pig.

 

This also relates to a point I find to be more and more true with each passing day: that it is not always the message, but the messenger. If the boyfriend said "you are packing on weight", he would most likely receive terrible backlash, but the girl wouldn't address the problem. If one of her female friends (perhaps because they speak the same arbitrary language) encodes the message, there is a greater probability it will have the desired effect, which is for the recipient to examine the cause and find a solution.

 

I do remember the story of one lucky guy who after agonizing for an hour or more about how to say it, accidentally blurted out "you're getting fat". Amazingly, after working through the sadness, the girl took a look at herself and said "wow, he's right, I DO need to do something".

 

Lucky guy has a one in a million girl...

[piggypooh]

It's because it wouldn't be as FUN any other way!

 

Seriously though, we could argue "why are men so dense? Why is it that you can SAY something that so OBVIOUSLY is searching for a certain response, and he can completely miss it and respond in some other way?! And why is it when we are so CLEARLY testing his attraction/devotion to us, he misses it and fails whatever test we were administering... Duh!"

 

(1) We are not dense, we are just direct and to the point.

 

(2) When women do this "Say something to OBVIOUSLY search for a certain response" routine, guys DO notice it. We just don't give the satisfaction of letting you play your games and pretend to not notice. We're trying to encourage you to just SAY WHAT YOU WANT instead of playing stupid games.

 

(3) When you test attraction / devotion, we DON'T miss it. because these are always "no win" scenarios for guya so we just have our bit of fun to annoy you cos again, WE get annoyed when the devition we DO show you goes ignored so why should we play stupid games ?

 

The biggest problem for me is when women NEVER ask for what they want, but then moan like hell when they don't get it.

 

Here's to being single, no games, no hassle, and no annoying tart playing games all the time.

[EvaGina]

Men choose to be too literal...

 

last night

me: do I look alright in this?

yes

are you sure?

yeah!! you look hot

I feel overdressed

well, you are overdressed, but you look hot...

 

why not just say that in the first place?

"do I look ok" encompasses "is this appropriate"

gah

cover all your bases, guys!!

[Goblin]

I read somewhere abt a scientific explanations using infants to test the charateristics of male and female.

 

They found out that male are more straightforward, practical and a doer and female are probably more intellectual but less than a doer.

 

Usually like the flower case, I can understand why she said that because obviously she wanted flowers but want you to be chasing after her w flowers. But girls shud understand that guys take things seriously, probably more seriously.

 

I realise girls are indecisive and feel vulnerable abt it so they tend to be more defensive. And often they dont mean what they say...

 

But guys u must also understand how boring it is if everything is straightforward. Imagine she wants u to kiss her, you cant expect her to say "Come, kiss me."

 

But of course there is no extreme sides to the charateristics. There are some masculinity in a female and some feminity in a male.

 

Its not good to bring up a sexist topic w ur gf but I love being a guy and I hate when girls play games with us or take advantage of our good nature.

[EvaGina]

I was talking to my bf the other day about me getting this reception job at a brothell... he said it was fine as long as I dont start turning tricks

 

I asked if he wanted to join in with me and a girl... it was a fantasy spoken out loud... he said yes and I realised what that would mean and asked "so you would have sex with antoher girl?!!"

 

He thought I was just setting him up, I felt really bad, he goes "see, how could I win with that one?!"

 

I didnt know how to explain so I apologised, but I REALLY didnt mean to set him up, it was a half-drunk spur of the moment thing, but I could never see him have sex with another girl...

 

So I propose that some of the times when you think your woman is "testing you" she is just talking before she thinks...

[TheFoglifter]

... NEVER ask for what they want, but then moan like hell when they don't get it."

 

I agree completely, and I'll even add to it. The ONLY time a woman can't tell you what she wants is when you are asking her. I have found that many women have no difficulty expressing an endless stream of wants, until it is time for the man to fulfill them. Maybe we should just carry recording devices all the time.

 

... she wants u to kiss her, you cant expect her to say "Come, kiss me."

 

Many guys would love this -- its almost a role-reversal which can be quite a lot of fun. My gf did this a few times and you can bet your bananas she got one hell of a kiss.

 

... I REALLY didnt mean to set him up"

 

If you apologized and did not hold a grudge with his answer, then perhaps nothing came of it. Sometimes though, it doesn't matter WHY something happens, it just matters that it happens.

 

... I look ok" encompasses "is this appropriate""

 

Therein lies the problem: do I look OK does not necessarily encompass "is this an appropriate level of dress for the event we are attending". YOU believe it does, but not all recipients of the message .

 

Then again, maybe there is some logic in it on certain subjects. When a man says "what do you feel like doing tonight?", you should know that he means "I don't care what we do as long as we have sex".

[EvaGina]

... NEVER ask for what they want, but then moan like hell when they don't get it."

 

I agree completely, and I'll even add to it. The ONLY time a woman can't tell you what she wants is when you are asking her. I have found that many women have no difficulty expressing an endless stream of wants, until it is time for the man to fulfill them. Maybe we should just carry recording devices all the time.".

That is complete bs... I ask for what i want and need all the time.

 

... she wants u to kiss her, you cant expect her to say "Come, kiss me."

 

Many guys would love this -- its almost a role-reversal which can be quite a lot of fun. My gf did this a few times and you can bet your bananas she got one hell of a kiss.".

I know many girls who do this... myself included

 

... I REALLY didnt mean to set him up"

 

If you apologized and did not hold a grudge with his answer, then perhaps nothing came of it. Sometimes though, it doesn't matter WHY something happens, it just matters that it happens.".

Sometimes men are paranoid they are being set-up, we shouldnt be held accountable for an honest mistake... no one should.

 

... I look ok" encompasses "is this appropriate""

 

Therein lies the problem: do I look OK does not necessarily encompass "is this an appropriate level of dress for the event we are attending". YOU believe it does, but not all recipients of the message .

 

Then again, maybe there is some logic in it on certain subjects. When a man says "what do you feel like doing tonight?", you should know that he means "I don't care what we do as long as we have sex".

DOUBLE STANDARDS...

Of course "is this ok" also means "is this appropriate"...

if we were going to a bbq and I wore a bikini top (not that I would, but you know) becuase I didnt know his grandparents were going to be there, and he had seen the top, said it "looked good" but knew it was completely uncool to wear because of family... it would be entirely his fault, I wouldnt think to ask "will your grandma be going?"...

Same deal if we a going to a place I have never been before... or going to be around people I dont know but he does.

 

Personally it sounds to me like you have become bitter becuase of some run-ins with some girls who DO pull all that sterotypical stuff... but dont account it to all of us thanks.

[piggypooh]

 

 

Sometimes men are paranoid they are being set-up, we shouldnt be held accountable for an honest mistake... no one should.

 

Personally it sounds to me like you have become bitter becuase of some run-ins with some girls who DO pull all that sterotypical stuff... but dont account it to all of us thanks.

 

 

not some girls, ALL girls I have ever known, including my sister, my mother, and girlfriends of friends.

 

And YES, men ARE paranoid that we're being set up because most of the time we know its going to lead to one of these stupid "arguments about nothing" situations, when we havn't done a thing wrong. i HATE these pointless nonsensical discussusions. We are also paranoid because when we show kindness and generosity towards our ladies, all we normaly get is "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE ????"

[EvaGina]

not some girls, ALL girls I have ever known, including my sister, my mother, and girlfriends of friends.

 

And YES, men ARE paranoid that we're being set up because most of the time we know its going to lead to one of these stupid "arguments about nothing" situations, when we havn't done a thing wrong. i HATE these pointless nonsensical discussusions. We are also paranoid because when we show kindness and generosity towards our ladies, all we normaly get is "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE ????"

 

Perhaps you surround yourself with these kinds of people?

Just as I surround myself with people who dont do these kinds of things outside of a joke.

 

I pity you, if ALL the girls you know do things like that, but, as I said, I know plenty who dont. The ones who do are definitely the minority and I choose to not spend time around them if I can help it.

[piggypooh]

Perhaps you surround yourself with these kinds of people?

 

They surround me, its not my fault they're like that. Nobody has a sign on them saying "hello, i'm a steriotypical femail"

[EvaGina]

but people tend to respond to the kind of people they know and understand.

If you really wanted to find women who didnt act like that, then you would... but by now they are most likely your "type" due to conditioning.

 

If I was to say "all men are filthy cheating lying raping alcoholics, I know becuase I have dated them" then everyone would ge insulted, and for good reason.

[piggypooh]

 

If I was to say "all men are filthy cheating lying raping alcoholics, I know becuase I have dated them" then everyone would ge insulted, and for good reason.

 

 

No, you'r RIGHT !!!!!!!!!!!

[Altruist]

How many of you guys have heard this:

 

"Does this outfit make me look fat?"

 

You could just say:

No. You look like a baby elephant.

[piggypooh]

My response to :

 

"Does this outfit make me look fat ?"

 

Is

 

"No, the outfit's fine, its the pounds of flab on ur podgy a*s that makes you look fat, that and that burger you ate last week"

 

Harsh, but often true !