annalise23 Posted March 2, 2007 Share Posted March 2, 2007 Talk to you later imthatgirl. I dont think i wil get anymore for now. Finegrs crossed Link to comment
luvmykids Posted March 2, 2007 Author Share Posted March 2, 2007 yes anna, dont tell him its too hard......if he thinks you are fine he will go away...dont respond..he knows your having a tough time of it and in some crazy twisted way..its giving him an ego boost...think about it..was he there on your b-day? no...now the weekend has rolled around and he wants his anna doting over him...tough luck buddy..game over Link to comment
luvmykids Posted March 2, 2007 Author Share Posted March 2, 2007 They are so sneaky!! Stay strong luv. He has told he he will stop now. sorry. I hope he will. Am i being too harsh? should i give him another 'one last chance' heck no....take the time to go back and read the posts from today....read them!!! Link to comment
annalise23 Posted March 2, 2007 Share Posted March 2, 2007 Thanks Its just so painful. Hearing all these words and teliing him no. Im starting to doubt myself, making me think it is all my fault got to stop!! Link to comment
luvmykids Posted March 2, 2007 Author Share Posted March 2, 2007 I know it hurts..really i do but think about it..hes not going to change...ever! i bet if you called him 3 months down the line he would be with some other girl doing the same thing...he calling because its a pattern that we have created for our men...we allowed them to do this over and over again..so why wouldnt they be doing now? yours and mine? Link to comment
luvmykids Posted March 2, 2007 Author Share Posted March 2, 2007 they are not serious about us and how we feel so we need to be serious this time about being done..for good! Link to comment
luvmykids Posted March 2, 2007 Author Share Posted March 2, 2007 Ya know..my man used to say things along the lines of.."i dont know how to be in a relationship, its been soo long since my last serious relationship" *BARF*....ya wanna give me a break here pal? either you love someone and work at it or ya dont! Link to comment
luvmykids Posted March 2, 2007 Author Share Posted March 2, 2007 you better not be calling him little missy!!! lol Link to comment
luvmykids Posted March 2, 2007 Author Share Posted March 2, 2007 I will be back soon...have to do a few things...stay strong!!! Link to comment
annalise23 Posted March 2, 2007 Share Posted March 2, 2007 no not talking to him!! not had any more messages. phew just talking to my dad about it. he is getting angry as he says he is messing with my head. which he is! Why didnt he say all this tues? Why now. thats all i keep saying to myself. 3 days later. Too late. Its he is saying it, but is should have been on tues when it mattered. When i was insecure over his lying. he should have made me feel special then, not now. Link to comment
annalise23 Posted March 2, 2007 Share Posted March 2, 2007 Yes you are right he is not serious. How can he go from 'i couldnt care less' to all these gestures. Fair enough if it was the first time, but i have heard it before. Its just mind games. I really dont see how this time would be any different. It would just get worse. I keep thinking to how he was on tues night, cold and not bothered. Then wed he left me a voicemail still all angry saying he wanted a break. All becasue i told him i knew he had been ringing his ex (i knew in jan and didnt say anything til now) Fair enough, i should have said something in jan, but i didnt want another row. I mentioned it now as to show him why i didnt trust him. He accuses me of throwing the past in his face. I never even did. I let things go all the time. All i wanted was a little reassurance 'i know its hard for you to trust me but you can. Its you im with and you i love... blah blah' This is what he should have been doing then. Instead he waits til now!!!! I tell ya, its taking all my energy not to give in and go back.BUt i dont trust him. And he 'couldnt care less' or at least thats what he said. Now suddenly he does. Because i ended it. He feels rejected. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 2, 2007 Share Posted March 2, 2007 i use the finger a lot in those situations. Link to comment
luvmykids Posted March 2, 2007 Author Share Posted March 2, 2007 Glad to hear you reached out to a family member....this calling game is about getting you to think about him..make you second guess yourself...dont fall for it for a second!!! hang in there Link to comment
luvmykids Posted March 2, 2007 Author Share Posted March 2, 2007 next time he spils all the sunshine..tell him to go to the mirrior and say it to himself because the person looking back at him is the only one falling for it this time!! Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted March 2, 2007 Share Posted March 2, 2007 I only - have a second. Gotta go play games with my son. My x sent me to text messages. 1) Got plans for the weekend yet? 2) Get B signed up for baseball? .............................................................................................. Stay strong Ladies! Stay strong! Link to comment
annalise23 Posted March 2, 2007 Share Posted March 2, 2007 Doing much better now thanks!! Going out to take my mind off it. Im actually fed up of thinking about it. I love what you all wrote, it is so true. I just dont even think he means what he says. Its rejection talking. He doesnt like that i have told him where to go. How can he go from couldnt care less to love you to death?!!? Makes NO sense to me! It shouldnt take something like this for him to tell me his feelings and to respect mine. If i go back, it will all happen again. Please one more chance! That will be chance 4. How many do you give?! Imthat girl, have you replied? Luv - anymore calls? Keep strong we can do it! Just hope you dont get the soul destroying messages declaring themselves to you. Make you feel But off out i go. I have to! Going to a theme park tomorrow to keep busy. Thats the key now. I can do this. WE ALL CAN!! Have a nice evening ladies, your words have helped me so so much!!!! Link to comment
luvmykids Posted March 2, 2007 Author Share Posted March 2, 2007 I only - have a second. Gotta go play games with my son. My x sent me to text messages. 1) Got plans for the weekend yet? 2) Get B signed up for baseball? .............................................................................................. Stay strong Ladies! Stay strong! Yeah, plans to ignore you! lol actually I think I might take a different approch..seeing as how im getting all the anger out in here.. I might just answer his calls and just keep telling in a calm,nice voice that im busy... Link to comment
luvmykids Posted March 2, 2007 Author Share Posted March 2, 2007 better yet...I will just write down all the excuses he has used over the last couple monthes and just randomly pick one to use when he calls... UH OH.....the witch is coming out! Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted March 2, 2007 Share Posted March 2, 2007 I'm proud of both of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dang it - yep I replied. - No plans. Did you send this to me in error? And Yes, weeks ago. He never does the I love you and want you back. Just picks up with small talk. I won't respond if he sends me another. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted March 2, 2007 Share Posted March 2, 2007 better yet...I will just write down all the excuses he has used over the last couple monthes and just randomly pick one to use when he calls... UH OH.....the witch is coming out! I definitely know that feeling!!!! Link to comment
luvmykids Posted March 2, 2007 Author Share Posted March 2, 2007 im out too...going to meet friends..hang in there ladies! Link to comment
annalise23 Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 Well here is an update! Its 1.30am. I came home at 11pm. I left his stuff out back like he asked. It was still there when i returned. About 10mins later i hear his truck so i hide in my room! (i just couldnt face seeing him) he leaves me a bunch of flowers and a card, which was incredibly sweet and he really opened up in it. Naturally it upset me. I know im doing the right thing, but have him do these things make its 100000000000 times harder. Why couldnt he do this in the relationship? Why when its pushed repeatedly to breaking point?!! I have just sent him an essay email. In it was just my thoughts on the relationship (I did not blame him for it all, I tried to be nice) and told him that i saw no future for us. All we do it argue adn break up and it is a cycle impossible to break. I asked him not to get in touch now, that it is breaking my heart. Because its killing me!! Oh i had such a nice evening, i was ok and happy and now im wide awak stressing that i am making a mistake. He is being so so nice. My dad (in the job he does) has much experience and tells me that he sees nothing but more of the same. He always comes out with these big gestures too late, when he is pushed into a corner. He says he would bet big $ if i got back with him that within 2 months i would be in the same situation. And i know its true. Its not as if this is a one off tiff. This is fight number 10000!!! And its not healthy and will only get worse. Ladies what do we think? I feel so harsh and cruel. He did all these gestures and im basically saying go away!! But i am calm now and can even feel part of me saying its the right thing. He should have made this effort in the relationship If we got back, he would think he can always do this, bring me some flowers and write me nice things. And ill cave. I am thinking of my future. I want to be happy ! and not arguing weekly! So how did your evenings go? Any contact from your exs?! Link to comment
annalise23 Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 He has bought me a puppy too. For his house but he knows how much i want one. Even sent me a song 'its not over' THIS IS KILLING ME! Im doing the right thing, im doing the right thing. It would all go back to the way it has been. He has had chance after chance and only makes this effort when i am walking away. H cant change. Even his card told you that, he has issues that makes him the way he is. So it will happen over and over til he gets help. YOu cant help him. He has to help himself Link to comment
luvmykids Posted March 3, 2007 Author Share Posted March 3, 2007 well, its been 1 week since i told my ex to take a long run off a short bridge. only a couple blocked calls..thank god! I went out with friends last night..had a good time. have to say tho..everyone was treating me different..in a good way! i had men hitting on me left and right.....maybe its because im smiling and having fun once again? and the ex didnt show up, which made it a little easier for me to socialize.......hmmmm? the confidence comes back and look what happens! i miss my ex tho...really i do, but i cant go back. anna, the whole flowers and card thing? wow, that must be hard..hang in there and remember that he wont change! please try and remember that..... i had a guy do that when i was younger and i can say,now that we are in our late thirties...hes still the same person he was at 17yrs old......trouble! he did the whole flowers thing also....it means nothing! when you get flowers just for the heck of it, thats when they mean something..not when its im sorry time! I had a guy buy me a beer last night...i refused it...he said im just trying to say im sorry.....i looked at him and said fine, your sorry, but dont buy me a beer and dont talk to me....he some how got my # a couple months back and wouldnt stop calling me......he was creepy! hang in there sweetie...you can do this! Link to comment
annalise23 Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 Thanks! Feeling better. Been out today and im out tonight, he did email to say his 'issues' were to do with his ex. Now im mad becasue i have felt so guilty thinking it was something terrible that had happened. Obviously not!!! So if anything im better off as he is not over her. Glad you had a nice night, we do miss them but we will move on. And other guys chatting you up is a bonus. See there are some out there who want us! All these games they play. Please. I hav cried so much it hurts. I felt guilty for not giving it another go. I thought he had some serious issues with his past. Nope just his ex! Its probably better now i dont have to feel guilty and I can laugh at myself for doing so Link to comment
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