How 2 convince my husband to start a family

[melrich]

He just says he still not ready, doesn't really elaborate from there

 

That is not enough. On such an important issue he has a responsibility to you and your relationship to engage more than that. This is the sort of remark you'd make to car salesman pressuring you to buy a car.

 

He may well have valid reasons. He may well have his own timetable in his head but you as his life partner deserve to know the details.

 

He knows you want to start a family, he knows that you are anxious about it and his response is "I'm not ready"...that's it, end of conversation!

 

Tell him you can accept that but you need to understand why and when. He is not engaging with you on this at the moment.

[Dilly]

That is not enough. On such an important issue he has a responsibility to you and your relationship to engage more than that. This is the sort of remark you'd make to car salesman pressuring you to buy a car.

 

He may well have valid reasons. He may well have his own timetable in his head but you as his life partner deserve to know the details.

 

He knows you want to start a family, he knows that you are anxious about it and his response is "I'm not ready"...that's it, end of conversation!

 

Tell him you can accept that but you need to understand why and when. He is not engaging with you on this at the moment.

 

Agree completely.... it's a shame that it's dismissed so abruptly, this topic.

[loulou]

Melrich & Dilly,

 

I agree!! It's very fustrating, I know that he has a timetable but doesn't want to share it, possibly just in case he changes his mind and needs more time and doesn't want to disappoint me, I've told him that as his life partner I deserve to know what that timetable is, but these conversations always end very quickly because he really doesn't like to discuss this matter.

I've tried every angle and I'm very unsuccessful each time. So the only angle I haven't tried is to drop the issue for awhile and see what happens. I'm hoping he will then come to me and say that he is ready.

I'm all out of ideas!

[Batya33]

Sorry if this was posted about before - but when you discussed the issue in the past, did he have a time table? That could be a way to bring this up.

 

Also, I have a few male friends who said they weren't "ready" but then realized they would never feel "ready" - and went for it. In both those cases, they are so THRILLED that they did.

[loulou]

Batya,

Yes he mentioned his time table once before, which was he wanted to start trying in 5 years which I was very upset about as we discussed prior to getting married that we would start after a couple years into the marriage. I have a couple friends in the same situation as yours, they weren't 100% ready but once it happened they've said they wouldn't change a thing. Does anybody every really feel "ready?" I think everyone must have doubts and fears going into it.