Why can't I shake this?!!

[janeok]

I have been in NC since January 9th and I still miss him. I think I have accepted that the relationship is completely over, but I stil lwant him in my life.

 

I don't know, do I send him an email telling him that "I still want him in my life. And that when I am at a place where we can be friends, I hope to go for coffee or something." Or is this type of email setting me up for disappointment?

 

Why am I still sad? Why do I want him to contact me so bad? This sucks. I get so angry for not being over this!

[GQstatus]

How long were you together? Why did you break up?

 

January 9th wasn't that long ago, and you should be proud of yourself for sticking to NC that long. Just think, if you do send him an email, and don't get a reply, how will you feel? If it will set you back, don't do it.

 

Has he tried contacting you?

 

First time I broke up with my ex, we had LC for 2 months, NC for a month, I was CONVINCED it was done and over. She was with another guy, and out of the blue I got a call with her crying begging to see me.

 

I've heard stories of people reuniting years later, anythings possible. Stay strong!

[astaro]

dont be angry at yourself. some brakeups take longer then others, my worst was around 6 months of crap.

 

just hang in there, take it one day at a time and most importantly take care of yourself.

do things that will make you happy.

 

edit - interesting, rereading this i had to be honest, actualy took over a year until i was truly over her (we where together for 3 years, brake up was... umm... less then pretty to put it lightly)

[darkpumpkin]

Exactly as astaro said. Do things that make you happy. Do not contact him! it will just leave you feeling more sad and empty. You are expecting something, a response anything because you still hurt. From what I have read the best thing to do is to stick to N/C and do what you have to to mantain that.

[confused25]

You can't be friends unless you are at a place where you are completely over him. Meaning, if you ever see or hear about him dating a new girlfriend, that you won't be having a hearche just thinking about it . . .

[Orlander]

do I send him an email telling him that "I still want him in my life. And that when I am at a place where we can be friends, I hope to go for coffee or something." Or is this type of email setting me up for disappointment?

 

Dont send an email. It would be setting you up for disappointment. Focus on healing and moving on and listen to the other great advice posted in this thread.

 

 

Orlander

[janeok]

Ugh...! I know that you are all right, but it is hard. He hasn't contacted me at all and I hear about him a little bit from friends. I don't ask anybody about him, they will just usually say in passing that they hung out with him or something.

 

We only dated 5 months, but it was so healthy and wonderful. Out of the blue he broke up with me because he just felt at his age that he wasn't ready to get too serious. I understand it and he was very honest. That's why I can't hate! We didn't fight, he didn't tool me around, etc.

 

I hate this!

[bitbybit]

Having just gone through the "trying to be friends" with my ex -- just make sure you are over him completely before trying to contact him. I made the error, twice!!, of re-contacting him too soon / at all, and I ended up being unhappy again.

 

You should be very proud of your many days of NC, but keep it up. If you're yearning to tell him you want him in your life, you're probably not ready to be friends with him yet -- this is something I am still learning.

 

Good luck to you!

[janeok]

Bitbybit,

 

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me. Learning from other people (who have gone through the experiences) on what to do and what not to do helps me tremendously.