How to tell if he likes me as more than a friend?

[Naomi]

Are there any tell tale signs that a guy acquantance likes you as more than a friend? We don't talk on the phone or anything but Whenever I see him, I just get a feeling that he likes me. How can I knowfor sure? What would give it away?

[Batya33]

He will ask you out on a proper date he plans in advance.

[Naomi]

Anyone have anything else to offer?

[Maverick32x]

if he flirts with you, if he wants to be around you alot..... I'm not sure, its hard to say with "friends" since you are around them so much... but you must see how he intereacts with other girls.. and if he acts diffrently around you, that might be a sign~

[rabbitskin]

Ahhh... the last time this happened to me, it was only a 'feeling' between us. My friend acted the same towards me in company and when we were alone. Except sometimes he would hold my gaze longer than necessary. He laughed a lot around me and we'd share opinions about the social situation just between us (i.e at the bar, 'So-and-so seems happy today').

But essentially there was nothing visible, just an electricity in the air, that only we could feel. Unhelpful, huh? My advice is to make a small gesture that can be interpreted as just friendly. I asked for my friend/ acquaintance's number in a *really* casual way, 'Hey, I should take your number!' (as if I just thought of it). If he reacts in embrassment or horror, you can just cover your tracks, 'I only thought it'd be great to chat sometime, no biggie!'

[Alabama]

Good signs could be:

 

-he gets nervous around

-he stares

-it's hard for him to approach you

-he might get excited around you

 

These are just a few signs, but have you noticed any of these?

[Leonhart]

Trust your womanly intuition. If you feel that he likes you, be probably does. You could always call him on it by asking him, do you like me? Then you'll know for sure. Even if you don't, trust your gut.

[Batya33]

The problem with trusting your gut is you don't have enough information. Most men who are emotionally and otherwise available and sincerely interested in dating you will ask you out on a proper date they plan in advance. A man might flirt because it's fun to flirt, because he is interested in a short term fling, because it's good for his ego when you respond, etc. Better to assume he simply likes to flirt until and unless he asks you out. If you ask him whether he likes you that may make him uncomfortable even if he does. Leave the ball in his court and continue to be warm, approachable and friendly, perhaps mentioning activities you like to do or following up on what he says he likes to do.

[Altruist]

Give him a lot of compliments. You could also occasionally gaze into his eyes a fraction longer than usual. That way he'll get the message.

[DN]

It is a true that an obvious sign that a man is attracted to you is if he asks you out on a date whether he plans it in advance or asks spontaneously. But that is only one way to tell and there are others. Sometimes a man may be shy, or isn't either getting or picking up any signs that the woman is attracted to him and so he is unlikely under those circumstances to ask her out on a date immediately.

 

Possible signs of interest include:

If you smile at him and he smiles back.

He looks at you longer than other people.

If you are talking with a group of people in which he is included and he looks at you more than the others - especially if he looks at you while answering someone else.

If he joins a group you are with when his own friends are in another group.

If he sits near to you when it would have been more convenient to sit somewhere else.

 

These are only possible signs of interest and a woman needs to be on the lookout for them so that she can show her own signs of interest to encourage him to get closer - each one 'ratches' up the interest level until it is clear that the interest is mutual. That is a time that he is more likely to ask you out on a date. Or even to hang out which is just as good in many ways.

[Batya33]

I agree that a woman needs to respond to and also initiate signs of interest in a man (including asking if he wants to join her and her friends on a group activity - leave the official asking out to him) but she should never presume that he is interested in dating her (as opposed to interested in flirting, being flirty-friends, getting into her pants, having his ego stroked) until and unless he asks her out on a date. If he asks her to "hang out" that isn't a bad sign but could just as easily mean he wants to be buddies or possibly hook up.

 

Most men I know if they truly like a lady they will not want to risk sending a "buddy" signal or treating her as if they just want to hook up --and they will ask for a typical date night and make sure it is a one on one not "meet me at this party --- I'll probably be there around 10-ish with my friends." I would go to the party if I otherwise wanted to - with my friends but would not let him think I was there just because he was.

 

I never understand why men get blamed for leading on if all they have done is flirt, or ask the woman to hang out, or try to hook up with her - without asking her on a proper date. Flirting is completely fine - just don't read into it beyond what it is.

[DN]

I think that may have been true a generation or two ago for people with a certain mind-set but I think it is now so out of date as to be of little value for younger people who think and act in ways much less formal.

 

My daughter and her fiancé never actually went out on a formal date which he planned in advance. They met at work, hung out in a group and only gradually did they start doing things together. Their experience is not at all unusual for people of their generation.

 

Slightly off-topic but now I come to think about it - my elder daughter met her husband at work as well. So perhaps the advice that people give on here about not dating people from work should be also be viewed with caution.

[Batya33]

I met my boyfriend originally at work - he asked me out for lunch during the day - was not sure it was a date - and then on a date he planned in advance a week later. We did not work together but were 100% discreet about our relationship and yes it was a risk.

 

I completely agree that in a school setting you "hang out" and then gradually you're an item - and no, I do not know well what the under 25 set does these days as far as dating.

[DN]

Well, not just under 25 - my daughter is 26 but her fiancé is into his thirties.

[Batya33]

I don't think it's changed that much, actually, at least not in my part of the country (a very large sophisticated city) and in my social circles (educated professionals mostly). In college, there's a lot of hanging out and hooking up but afterwards, often when a man is interested in a woman he asks her out on a date. But, obviously I am not that familiar with the younger set/other parts of the country.

[ladeedah]

I don't think it's changed that much, actually, at least not in my part of the country (a very large sophisticated city) and in my social circles (educated professionals mostly). In college, there's a lot of hanging out and hooking up but afterwards, often when a man is interested in a woman he asks her out on a date. But, obviously I am not that familiar with the younger set/other parts of the country.

 

Apparently,not.

[ghost69]

flirt with him a bit more. see if he returns the flirting back a bit stronger.

 

.........................................................................................................................................................................................