post Valentine's Day query.

[hammer81]

On Wednesday (Valentine's Day) I received a card off someone in my office which had a really touching message ('you are a fantastic person. No one can make me laugh like you can' Love Ax).

Now for a long time I have liked someone in my office called Anna and I once asked her out, timing it badly because she had a boyfriend who she's now split up with. Since then we have been getting on really well and joking about sending each other Valentine's Cards.

Getting carried away in the moment, I sent her one through the internal mail, which according to someone on her team, she never got (or at least never admitted to getting).

 

I can't be sure whether it is from her or not. I really hope it was, but why wouldn't she have admitted getting mine when she MUST have done? I've tried checking the handwriting, but it doesn't seem to match hers, but I've also put the handwriting of other suspects (of which there are few) under the microscope.

 

Do I just let it go or is there any way I should find out if she sent me that card? There's no one who would know either way as I doubt she's have told anyone, but I really would like to know.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

why not just ask her? she could have sent the card, or else someone else playing a trick on you who knew you had a crush on her as a joke, or someone else entirely.

 

its not good if everyone else in the office knows you have a crush on her either or talk about valentines with them... best to keep romance issues as private as possible in the office for all kinds of reasons. so just go straight to her, bring the card, and ask her if she sent it and tell her it was very nice if she did...

 

if she says no, then just drop the whole thing, because it can everyone uncomfortable if things like this get talked about too much at work... best to try to keep private business and work business separate.

[Bethany]

Ask her out on a date. If she did say those things about you, then she would say yes, wouldnt she?

[hammer81]

Thanks girls, I think you talk a lot of sense.

 

The worry is that I don't want to be knocked back twice. The only way to find out I guess is just come straight and ask.

 

By the way, do any of you know if the 'A' in 'Love A' is Valentine's talk for anonymous?

[DN]

My guess it would be Anna.

[Bethany]

My guess is Anna too. If it was to supposed to be anonymous, it would say.. from Guess Who? Wouldn't it?

[hammer81]

Thanks guys.

 

So it's ok to come out and ask if she sent it then?

 

I don't want to show smacks of desperation!

[ghost69]

it's not desperation to ask who gave it to you. if it is this chick, she definitely likes you. she went out of her way, with you in her mind, to buy you a card and write in it. the 'x' in the message after the 'A' could mean 'kiss'. not bad. or it could just be how they person signs their initial. i dunno. but i'd be careful of the office romance. i've seen this backfire where people get into trouble. you may want to keep it hush while you go for it.

 

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[hammer81]

hi guys

 

sorry to drag this one back to the surface but it's really getting me down and affecting my work/home life.

 

It's just she's a really pretty girl with an excellent personality and if there is a chance of anything happening between us I'd like to know.

 

The trouble is that I'm worried I might look a bit silly asking her, having built up to it, only to find out that the card isn't from her. What I'd really like to do is make it a passing comment but I'm not sure how cos I rarely see her alone.

 

Any advice much appreciated on how to broach it.

 

Ta

[ghost69]

do it jokingly. go up and say something like "you know what?" with a little snicker behind your voice like you know it is her. "i got this card and it is great. i have no idea who gave it to me. do you have any ideas?" then give a little snicker again. she might say something like "uhhh, duh, it was me you silly." then boom, you know. or she might say laughingly like it is her "no, i have no idea who it could be." or she might just tell you flat out it isn't her but she knows, etc. either way it should be a dead give away though.

 

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[Altruist]

Ask her out again, as someone has already suggested. If she says no, then you know she wasn't the one who sent the card.

[ghost69]

don't flat out ask her out. you might look desperate.

 

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[Altruist]

Better to look desperate in this case than not to try at all. He has nothing to lose and everything to gain in this case.

[ghost69]

you need to casually find out if the card was from her first. if so, make a move. but be sly. sick of people telling people to just flat out ask out a coworker. do they not understand the circumstances in most businesses? loss of job ring a bell to anyone? geez

 

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[hammer81]

I think the best idea is to find a subtle way to ask.

 

Trouble is two things:

 

1) It was nearly two weeks ago now so feel the moment's almost passed.

2) I'm a pretty poor actor at the best of times, so bringing things round to this subject would be very difficult. Any advice much appreciated.

 

I feel really down about things. It may sound like an overexaggerration but I feel like I'm falling in love with her. It's affecting my working life so need to bring closure to it asap.

 

Thanks.

[ghost69]

man, just ask her like i said about the card. be slick. tell her you have been trouble figuring it out and you need her help. she will probably tell you it is her and wonder if you are jerking her leg cause you knew it was her the whole time. lol just try it. this is going on way too long now.

 

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