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hammer81

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Everything posted by hammer81

  1. hammer81
    I think the best idea is to find a subtle way to ask. Trouble is two things: 1) It was nearly two weeks ago now so feel the moment's almost passed. 2) I'm a pretty poor actor at the best of times, so bringing things round to this subject would be very difficult. Any advice much appreciated. I feel really down about things. It may sound like an overexaggerration but I feel like I'm falling in love with her. It's affecting my working life so need to bring closure to it asap. Thanks.
  2. hammer81
    hi guys sorry to drag this one back to the surface but it's really getting me down and affecting my work/home life. It's just she's a really pretty girl with an excellent personality and if there is a chance of anything happening between us I'd like to know. The trouble is that I'm worried I might look a bit silly asking her, having built up to it, only to find out that the card isn't from her. What I'd really like to do is make it a passing comment but I'm not sure how cos I rarely see her alone. Any advice much appreciated on how to broach it. Ta
  3. hammer81
    Thanks guys. So it's ok to come out and ask if she sent it then? I don't want to show smacks of desperation!
  4. hammer81
    Thanks girls, I think you talk a lot of sense. The worry is that I don't want to be knocked back twice. The only way to find out I guess is just come straight and ask. By the way, do any of you know if the 'A' in 'Love A' is Valentine's talk for anonymous?
  5. hammer81
    On Wednesday (Valentine's Day) I received a card off someone in my office which had a really touching message ('you are a fantastic person. No one can make me laugh like you can' Love Ax). Now for a long time I have liked someone in my office called Anna and I once asked her out, timing it badly because she had a boyfriend who she's now split up with. Since then we have been getting on really well and joking about sending each other Valentine's Cards. Getting carried away in the moment, I sent her one through the internal mail, which according to someone on her team, she never got (or at least never admitted to getting). I can't be sure whether it is from her or not. I really hope it was, but why wouldn't she have admitted getting mine when she MUST have done? I've tried checking the handwriting, but it doesn't seem to match hers, but I've also put the handwriting of other suspects (of which there are few) under the microscope. Do I just let it go or is there any way I should find out if she sent me that card? There's no one who would know either way as I doubt she's have told anyone, but I really would like to know.
  6. hammer81
    Hey chronicwise, welcome to the forum. Yeah, I think I do get you and thanks for the advice. Just two things stand out: 1) has she said no, do you think? If she has, wouldn't it just be best to walk away? I'm not sure she has though. I dunno whether it was yes or no. 2) If she has said no, aren't I being to foreceful?
  7. hammer81
    The thing is I'm leaving in a few weeks so I don't see a problem there. If there's a chance we could go out for a drink I'd like to explore it, but not at the expense of making a fool out of myself.
  8. hammer81
    Any help on this would be much appreciated. There was a girl at work I was umming and arring about asking out. Anyway, today just as I was about to she said came up to me and said 'there's a lad in the contact centre leaving today, and we're going out for a drink tomorrow night, you fancy coming along'.... Not sure how many others she asked, if any. Unfortunately I couldn't make it, but said if she was up for it, I would really like it if we could go out for a drink sometime. She seemed to be keen and said that she was. I was delighted....but then, she didn't speak to me for the rest of the day almost to the extent of it seeming like she was avoiding me. For her to get from her section to the front door she needed to walk past my desk, but she took a wide berth. Can any women out there account for this behaviour? Was I getting carried away in the first instance to think she liked me? Also, how do I handle things now?...Do I walk away with dignity in tact or should i see about asking her out for a set date? I dunno. Never been in this situation before.
  9. hammer81
    Cheers for the advice so far guys. I feel confident about asking her out and feel ready to do so. It's just, in the words of Heart, 'How do I get her alone'? I can't summon the courage to ask her publicly.
  10. hammer81
    No, not at all. Plenty of it goes on.
  11. hammer81
    Hope, I don't have any really. Asked a girl out a year ago (a friend of someone else on the section) but was knocked back. Nothing else though. Don't think i have a reputation around the office..... not for that at least.
  12. hammer81
    Stay with me on this, it's a bit complicated. I like this girl at work called Jo, but get on well with a girl on the same section as her, Corrinne. Today, walking up to their section, this lad whispered (rather loudly) 'Oh look, here comes Corrinne's boyfriend'. I wasn't meant to hear it but I did. I now feel quite despondent about the whole situation because with all this gossip about me fancying Corrinne, it's drawn things away from Jo, who I DO really like. I felt I was really connecting with her, but now it most likely seems that she's gonna believe the hype, not that I know whether I would have stood a chance with her in the first place. Do I walk away with a morsel of dignity in tact, thus burning all bridges with Jo or can the situation be rectified or better still can I draw positives from it? Thank you.
  13. hammer81
    Cheers guys, you all talk a lot of sense!! I'm gonna go for it!
  14. hammer81
    I have been single for nearly a year now and have barely had a sniff in that time. One problem is that after 3 years you get out of practice, the next is that I was never very good at it in the first place and lastly, I'm stuck as to where I'm going to meet that someone. I'm starting to think quite seriously about starting random conversations with people in book shops and cafes etc!! Is this a sensible idea do you think? If so, can anyone suggest the best way to approach it/ relay examples of their own experiences? I know this has been discussed in the past so if anyone can post the link to similar topics that would be equally good (I couldn't find them). Just looking for anything of use really! Cheers
  15. hammer81
    Thanks for your advice. By subtle hint though I meant something like a compliment which made it more plain that I liked her.
  16. hammer81
    There's a girl I've discussed numerous times on here who I work with and who I am beginning to feel more and more attached to. The problem I have is that, as I waste more and more time deliberating, we're becoming more and more like friends. I give her a lift home from work some nights and we sometimes go for a drink, so it's not like I don't get a chance to say/do something. The problem is knowing what!! It's not as simple as asking her out for a drink because we go out for a drink anyway and I'm worried she'd just see this as a friendly gesture. The other worry is that, as I work with her (in a job I don't particularly enjoy) asking her out and getting refused would just make things at work even more miserable. I feel like I maybe need to drop subtle hints to test the water. Don't know what I should say...Or maybe I should just be frank (though wouldn't know how to say it without making a fool of myself and coming on too strong). The forum must decide. Cheers Hammer
  17. hammer81
    I work as a bank clerk in my local town and there's a colleague of mine who I spend time with during my breaks and have been getting to know well. At the moment the friendship is strong but won't get any stronger unless I try to advance things. This is something I want to do, but whilst a rejection wouldn't turn us into sworn enemies, it would make things awkward and may stop her wanting to spend time with me. So two things really: how do I make it clear that I see her as more than a friend and how do I do it in a way that lends itself to damage limitation? I thank you all in advance!
  18. hammer81
    3 months of celibacy and I have balls the size of pineapples. Not only that but I've also met a cracking girl - a girl who, as well as liking football, is also on my wavelength in other ways. If it's not to be I can accept it, but if there's a chance I need to pursue it - really I do. It's not as if I don't get her alone either. I fear rejection though, especially as 2 months earlier I was rejected by a 'rival' of hers shall we say. Please help
  19. hammer81
    Cheers for your advice guys. I'm going to have to do something
  20. hammer81
    There's this girl at work who I liked, then stopped liking and NOW I like her again... Only this time I like her more than I did before and I'm spending an unhealthy amount of time thinking about her. I've always thought of myself as someone who can provide stimulating conversation and wit and, so long as I can get someone alone and get to know them, I'd have a fair chance with them. However, despite giving her a lift to and from work and having plenty of time to suggest we spend more time together, I'm finding it so very difficult to be anything but a bumbling fool. Even worse, I'm starting to get to the stage where there's no scope for a chance because the chances of creating a spark are lessening by us becoming just good friends (sort of). Instead I spend my time over-analysing and clinging on to a hope. I know I should do what I suggest in the title but it's very difficult. I need to bite the bullet somehow but I never get a chance or an opportune moment. Perhaps I need to somehow let her know I'm keen without saying it. I know you probably think it's easy just to ask but the problem there is that about 4 months ago I asked someone else in the office out (a sort of friend of hers) and was rejected. What to do!
  21. hammer81
    So here it is: I only worked in this particular office for about 6 weeks but in that time I struck up a decent friendship with this very pretty asian girl.. I occasionally converse with her via e-mail but I don't have her mob. no. So what I want to do is ask her out BUT over the phone at the very least, not through an e-mail. I can't go and see her after work because I don't know where she lives and I can't go and see her when she finishes work because I'm also at work at that time. The other thing is I haven't conversed with her in a month or two so I don't want us to drift apart, but then again I feel randomly giving her my phone number out of the blue may be interpreted as a wee bit odd....especially as I accidentally let it slip to one rather loud mouthed middle aged divorcee that I was keen Suggestions both welcome and appreciated
  22. hammer81
    Thanks for your advice people. I'm not especially confident, Kel. I think I can talk to girls and make them laugh. Where my confidence lacks is when I'm talking to a girl who I like, who I'd like to get to know better and possibly advance things. That's when the nerves kick in. Otherwise I'm fine.
  23. hammer81
    Off out tonight and need to make sure that rather than just eyeing up girls in the club, I actually talk to them. It's a tall order but I'm determined. Gonna have a couple of drinks to build up the old dutch courage but realise it's down to me. I'm determined to crack this. Any last minute advice for a very nervous englishman? Regards
  24. hammer81
    So this was the situation. There's a girl I kind of like. She's very attractive and quite possibly out of my league. However, after bottling it with previous girls, I decided not to let the same thing happen this time. This girl works on a toll bridge and I sometimes have to pass there on the way to a friend's house. I would be surprised if she knew who I was but I was damned if I wasn't going to ask her (if only to build up my own confidence). So this is the scenario: Me: Hi Her: Hi (purposeful fiddle for change to buy time) Me: Bet you can think of places you'd rather be than here on a day like this? Her: yeah just about. Musn't moan though, it's money. (Hands back change) Me: thanks (slowly cruise away, then reverse back) Me: (handing her a slip of paper with my name and number). Just in case you think of any give me a ring. (Off I drive) Now, regardless of the fact that she probably won't ring me back, and the fact I'm over hurdle one in my conquering of female fear, did I do ok?
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