My Overdramatic Friend

[Brooke657]

So my friend Nikki is kind of a drama queen. Everything in her life is just like OMG ITS THE END OF THE WORLD!! Last week she broke up with her boyfriend. They'd be dating 4 months and apparently he was "the love of her life" (which I think is ridiculous). Now, a week later I'm yet to see her not crying. She always says stuff like omg I still love him and what am I gonna do now and im gonna die my life is over. On one hand she's one of my friends so I'm trying to sympathize with her and make her feel better but on the other hand I just want to tell her to shut up. This is definatly not the first time she's been ridiculously over dramatic. It's like I love her but I can't stand her when she's like that.I'm definatly not the only person who notices this but noone says anything to her. I'm always there for my friends but I'm tired of her always being so needy and over dramatic. How do you help someone like that? or can you?

[Hope75]

When you are 18 a relationship of 4 months can seem like a very long time so I'm not really surprised that she is quite broken up over it. Maybe, instead of feeling exasperated that she is over-dramatic, find ways to encourage her to do things to take her mind off him- like see a chick flick with you or go dancing with the girls, hit the gym, go to the beach, etc. With time her life will fill up with other things and she will let this go too.

 

It's only been a week since they broke up- she deserves a bit of sympathy and support from her friends.

[Brooke657]

That's exactly what we've been doing all week. Sure she deserves some sympathy but she just gets ridiculous sometimes and you cant even talk to her...she does this with everything.

[Hope75]

I hardly think that after 1 week you should expect her to shut off her feelings and be like, "OK, that's over with, let's party!"

 

But if you are tired of her antics and feel you can't provide the support an extra needy friend may need, than maybe it's time to re-evaluate if this friendship is bringing anything to the table for you.

 

Could you count on her to be there if you went through a heart-wrenching breakup? Would you expect that after 1 week she'd be like, "Enough already Brooke!". Just some food for thought.

[Lady Bugg]

Hope makes a very good point......she is young and hopefully she WON'T be doing this when she's 30. As Hope said, just suggest doing things she might enjoy....and if she brings him up.....be understanding but subtley change the subject. Give her positive reinforcement ie, "You're beautiful....there are a gazillion guys would kill to date you"....things like that.

 

Also remember...you might be in her shoes someday and it would be nice to have a friend who is supportive.

[Brooke657]

I'm not so much just talking about this one specific incident but like she's extremely dramatic about everything like I swear to god she breaks a heel and starts crying.

[Brooke657]

now if they were my manolo blahniks i might cry too lol but they wernt like expensive shoes or special to her they were just...shoes.

[kellbell]

Hey there Brooke!

 

I know of people like Nikki and usually they are extremely sensitive, insecure and have self-esteem issues. Their issues go a bit deeper than a broken shoe or an end to a relationship.

 

Now, it is up to you but you can limit your time you spend with her. IMO, people with Nikki's personality cannot be helped without outside help, like a counselor or the like.

 

And then some people are attention hounds. And perhaps Nikki is one of those individuals. If that's the case, I would REALLY limit the time you spend with her bacause you not win or reason with folks like her.

[Daligal83]

I have an overdramatic friend too. Once we were out shopping in this neighborhood and she stepped in gum, so she flipped and said we had to go home. We didn't...but her initial reactions are always extreme. Another time we left a friend's apartment and we had parked down the street, as soon as we got to the street she goes, OH MY GOD! MY CAR IS GONE! I was like, no it's not..you're just not far enough down the street and on the wrong side of the road.

 

While I agree that a week isn't really long enough to be over a relationship, I get that you're saying it's not just this. It's hard to sympathize with a friend who is ALWAYS dramatic, even if this time she's justified. Like the others said, maybe you should spend less time with this girl. That's what I've done and even though when we do hang out I find myself stressed, in general my life is easier to handle because it's less often.

[Meow18]

I can understand why you are annoyed.

 

Maybe Nikki just never learned how to be a problem solver? Maybe she just doesn't know how to handle sudden changes/stress without over stressing?

 

That's not exactly her fault. But there's nothing you can do about it unless you want to really hurt her feelings by telling her this.

 

In my opinion, what she's going through now is a big deal. She had her heart broken. It will take much more than a week to get over this, especially with the way she handles things.

 

You have 2 choices, either be a friend and support her through her times of need. In this case, do things with the girls, as others have mentioned. Listen to her talk about how much she misses him and remind her about why she's better without him. Afterall, isn't that what friends really are for? She needs time to heal and forget about this boy and with the help of you and her other friends, it will be faster.

 

Or take a step back. That wouldn't make you a bad friend. But don't be one of those friends who pretends to listen to problems but then just complains about it behind the other's back. If you are tired of hearing about it, tell her to take her problems to someone else.

[Brooke657]

There have been other guys shes dated for like aweek and she reacts the same though.

[justpaisley]

I have to laugh, because one of my closest friends when I was your age was a girl named Nicki, and she was unbelievably overdramatic and a HUGE liar. She had been engaged around 4 times by the time we graduated high school, was "pregnant" every couple of weeks (although she went on the shot when we were 16 and used condoms) and was super spoiled.

 

Anyway, toward the end of our friendship (I moved away, we lost touch), I realized she didn't want help with or solutions to her problems, she just wanted to cause drama. So I just started "mm-hmm" ing her.

 

"I think I'm pregnant."

"Mm-hmm, have you taken a test yet?"

"No."

"Want me to go to the store with you to get one?"

"No."

"Okay."

 

She'd then move on to the next person she could get a reaction out of and cause a big stir with them. Of course they'd feed into it, because when your 17-year-old friend tells you she's pregnant, it's kind of a big deal. In fact, when we were 22 and my sister told me Nicki was pregnant, I didn't believe it till my sister said that she saw Nicki with a big belly.

 

Don't feed into her drama. Try to help her solve her problems, and if it seems she's resisting your help, just back away and let her enthusiasm peter out. With the current breakup situation, just say "I'm sorry sweetie, is there anything I can do to help you feel better?" Be proactive. Don't fawn over her, and don't encourage her to be dramatic. At least not with you.