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good news: SUCCESS STORY!

SpeedingCars

By SpeedingCars
in Getting Back Together

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SpeedingCars Enthusiast

SpeedingCars

Posted
Posted

Just wanted to say...

 

I think I died and went to heaven. My ex and I are BACK TOGETHER!

 

It's 2 a.m. over here, and I couldn't go to sleep without posting here and instilling an ounce of hope in those that still believe in second chances!

 

I'll give details once I get some rest... however, it's hard to sleep when reality is better than dreaming.

 

Alright, well... my ex has to be the most stubborn, PRIDEFUL guy I've ever met... so if your ex is like a rock, it's possible they can be budged!

 

Here's the background

We dated for about 6-7 months and somewhere along the road, my trust for him was completely gone. He never cheated, but he was my first "real" relationship so I was kind of new to it all. I constantly accused him of cheating and I went ballistic one day over a rumor that he kissed this girl who I HATE (we've had issues with this girl since day 1)... finally, he broke up with me a week later, saying he was too stressed out, he couldn't handle it, I was paranoid, etc...

 

He gave me his word we'd get back together and this "break up" was to regain trust and build our "foundation" back together. Over the course of two weeks, we'd call each other but then I figured... "We're broken up! Why am I still calling HIM?!" so I went LC. Eventually, the phone calls stopped and the dreaded day came: he got somebody NEW!

 

He promised he'd tell me if he ever moved on, so eventually... he told me about her and how they were about to go out. I was crushed, but at least he stuck with ONE of his promises. I resented him because he knew I had trust issues... and to throw everything out? It was a stab in the heart and the back. Besides... we were only broken up for about 1 1/2 months and he finds some random girl ALREADY?! It made me feel as if I meant nothing to him.

 

Call me crazy, but I actually thought they were PERFECT for each other. From what other people said, she didn't give him any drama and was really "cool". She was also GORGEOUS. It killed me inside every time I saw them together. I thought, "He never loved me then; she's replacing me; how can he be over it already?; he's happier with her than with me..." I was almost certain he was 100% over me... I mean, he had a freakin' girlfriend!

 

They went out for about 2-3 months... and in between, he'd call once in a while to talk to try and rekindle our friendship. Every time I saw him, I'd mumble a "hello" very meekly and quickly walked away. In my head, I kept repeating, "He has a girlfriend. He doesn't like me. We're over. We're JUST friends. Move on, move on, move on, MOVE. ON."

 

Fortunately my friends helped me tremendously and I was starting to accept that my ex was no longer with me. It still hurt me, no doubt, but I was actually able to go through the day without bursting into tears.

 

During the last two weeks of his "relationship" with this girl, we started talking again... before, my mentality was: If he can't have me as a girlfriend, he doesn't deserve me as a friend! Then, I caved in and thought: I already lost him as a boyfriend... losing him as a friend is too much.

 

He'd call and text to talk, but we never EVER mentioned her. We reminisced a lot and were very playful with each other.

 

He finally broke it off with her because she was annoying, etc.

 

Before you know it, we're talking for about 5 hours and he's apologizing for EVERYTHING he's done after the break up. I swear, everything was perfect. I told myself, "I'm never going to go back out with that pig after what he did!"

 

Turns out, he was extremely sorry for breaking up with me and hurting me while he was going out with this girl (He really regretted it, his intentions were never to hurt me, he finally figured out she was not me and never could be, he admitted he tried finding someone who could come CLOSE to me but couldn't, he didn't blame me for anything, he really misses me, etc...)

 

While he was telling me this, I was crying because... I never thought the day would come! I'm glad my wishes at 11:11 weren't completely wasted!

 

It amazed me how much he remembered about our relationship and how much STUFF he's kept! When he told me all of this, I realized... I was lying to myself. I never really moved on or let go.

 

I never went full NC. It was way too hard! So... I stuck with LC. I couldn't stand NOT talking to him (and apparently, it really hurt HIM, too.)

 

And THANK YOU GUYS, I'm DEFINITELY going to be taking it slow. Let's hope the second time is better around... *crosses fingers*

 

GOOD LUCK to you all. Nothing's impossible! Don't listen to other people's negativity... just keep hope alive, and if you really want something, FIGHT for it!

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Mavis VDSande Collaborator

Mavis VDSande

Posted
Posted
Be very careful. Don't give all of your heart, and be ready for anything. However, your stronger now and it will only make your relationship stronger. Congrats

 

Lovely news!! I agree with Arrrrffff - please be careful. Remember this is just the start of a long (and sometimes hard) journey together. Don't be afriad to take steps back sometimes to ease the pressure of your rels (we sometimes out of fear have an instinct to clutch on to our new found ex's which scares them!).

 

Take it slowly so your ex knows that they also need to gain your trust and respect over time - this is important as no one wants someone who can't live without them!

 

Hope it goes really well!!!!

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