Should I ask a girl out even if there is no "click!"?

[emit_remmus]

Over this semester I've met lots of girls in class, in organizations, and at work. Over the many, I've only felt something only with one, but it seems complicated with her at the moment.

 

Now I think I know what the "click" is. Its when the two people seem very compatible with each other. Maybe they relate somehow, or maybe they're just very receptive of each other's attitude. I don't know I just feel it with some people, even guys, but I'm not homosexual.

 

Shoud I ask a girl out even without the click? I recently went out with a girl and I didn't feel anything between her and me, and I just didn't feel like going on another date with her. Is something suppose to grow from having no click?

[annie24]

Go for it. not everyone feels the "click" right away. Why not get to know her? And if you go on a few dates and you still aren't feeling it, then move on.

[in_the_mirror]

i don't see any harm in it, i mean you are suppose to learn from experiences...if there is a click you'll feel it, if not you can move on and you two can learn from the relationship.

[laboheme]

I think there's a difference between not having a "click" and not feeling like going on another date. If you think you should go on another date just out of politeness, then no, don't prolong the torture. But if you think she's a nice person who is interesting to talk to, and you enjoyed spending time with her...but just didn't feel that spark that they advertise in movies...then by all means, give her another chance. Just because you're not throwing yourself head first into a whirlwind romance, it doesn't mean that all is lost. Best case scenario? You start forming a bond and eventually it will grow into an affectionate relationship. Worst case scenario, you're bored to tears and completely rule out any possibility of a third date. Or maybe you'll never have that romantic connection, but will make a new friend in the process.

[gfein347]

I'd say go for it, too. In the case of my girlfriend, I had known her for 5 or 6 years before I asked her out. And when I did, we just went to a party as friends. That just goes to show that even if there's no "click" right away, it can certainly happen later.

[emit_remmus]

But I don't even find her attractive. Things just happened and I went with the flow.

 

Can I get fat from eating vegetables? I'm studying for a test, and I need to keep at it!

[hosswhispra]

But I don't even find her attractive. Things just happened and I went with the flow.

 

Can I get fat from eating vegetables? I'm studying for a test, and I need to keep at it!

 

If you don't find her attractive, I don't think you should ask her out. Why do you feel the 'need' to ask someone out right now? Why don't you ask someone out that catches your eye (when that time comes).

 

Can you get fat from eating vegetables?

 

Yes, from avocados--which have a high fat content.

 

Others (carrots, corn, etc) eaten plain (without sauce or toppings)---nah!

 

Good luck on your test.

[emit_remmus]

Yeah, I got the party pack with carrots, celery, brocolli, and some fruit, berries, apples, and pineapples.

[annie24]

so, why are you asking us? I mean, if you aren't feeling it for her and don't feel like going on a second date, why are you posting about it? do you maybe wonder in the back of your head if you are making a mistake passing her by? Have you had problems in previous relationships where there was too much chemistry and little else? and now you are trying to fix that?

 

as for veggies, just how much are you eating? If you ate 30 cups of veggies a day, I'm sure you would get fat. If your veggies are slathered in ranch dressing or cheese or deep fried, yeah, that will increase your caloric intake.

[hosswhispra]

Yeah, I got the party pack with carrots, celery, brocolli, and some fruit, berries, apples, and pineapples.

 

Good for you. I need to take a page out of your book. I don't know what's up with me but lately I crave things like Doritos and that Smart Food Brand white cheese popcorn!

 

Yeah, don't feel 'pressure' to ask someone out (because it's nearing Valentine's Day) or for whatever reason. Everyone has their own timing

[emit_remmus]

I don't know why I've been eating so much lately. I've been trying to make the things I eat healthier by choosing the vegetables over wheat crackers. I don't really feel depressed right now, but sometimes I feel like I wish I had a girlfriend. I'm just wondering if, any of these girls I meet that I don't feel anything with, I should ask them out.

 

As for someone I really clicked with, I had something with a girl back in high school, but we were only friends, but I felt so close to her and I think I even cared about her. Wow! After 3 years of friendship, I finally laid it down how I felt about her. I don't know if I really miss her right now, but I know shes in a relationship now. That makes me sad because I can't get into any meaningful relationships.

 

I'm just so scandalously dirty, and I can't even do that all the way so I'm a virgin. I just want to stay out of trouble. I don't know what I am or am I to do.

 

ON SECOND THOUGHT, I don't think I've ever loved anyone. Yeah yeah I'm a horrible person. A horrible lustful person.

 

Its ironic that I want to become immaterial and live forever, when I'm stuck with my material desires.

[hosswhispra]

I don't know why I've been eating so much lately. I've been trying to make the things I eat healthier by choosing the vegetables over wheat crackers.

 

It's the winter--so maybe that's it. Lots of people get an increase in appetite--at least I do--in the winter--maybe that's just nature's way or something to help keep us warm.

 

 

I don't really feel depressed right now, but sometimes I feel like I wish I had a girlfriend. I'm just wondering if, any of these girls I meet that I don't feel anything with, I should ask them out.

 

Lots of people go through these types of 'droughts'. If you don't feel anything for these girls don't ask them out. Wait until you feel something for somebody--then ask that person out. I know chemistry grows....but there has to be at least a speck of interest in someone to serve as an impetus to ask them out. Otherwise, you could just hang at your local gym and hit on anything/everything that walked on by--and accept whomever says 'yes' first. This is not the way to go in my opinion.

 

 

As for someone I really clicked with, I had something with a girl back in high school, but we were only friends, but I felt so close to her and I think I even cared about her. Wow! After 3 years of friendship, I finally laid it down how I felt about her. I don't know if I really miss her right now, but I know shes in a relationship now. That makes me sad because I can't get into any meaningful relationships..

 

You probably have this girl in your mind as your standard of what you are attracted to. That's a good thing--to know what you like and dislike. However, that girl is unique and so is everyone else. You have to be open to giving someone a chance that you have (at the very least a speck) interest in.

 

I'm just so scandalously dirty, and I can't even do that all the way so I'm a virgin. I just want to stay out of trouble. I don't know what I am or am I to do.

 

You're not alone as you might imagine you are right now.

 

Just follow your instincts and guard your heart---but know that there are good people in this world...and when the time is right, you'll meet her.

[emit_remmus]

No I don't feel alone, I feel like a wuss because I couldn't go all the way when I had those chances. I may have gotten in big trouble through those times but I atleast I would've experienced sex. I might've also felt some guilt at the sametime but atleast I would've experienced it.

 

I don't click with a lot of people here at this university. I'm not sure if its because its a conservative place and that I'm liberal. It makes me sad, and I wish I could find people like me around here. I've found a little release through this outdoor activity of caving and camping, but I still feel like I can't really click with those people.

 

I don't know if its me either. I have charm, wit, funny, and I believe I can act anything. I have manipulation, I've used it to my advantage. Maybe its me that I won't ask anyone out, but then I've asked many out before.

[hosswhispra]

No I don't feel alone, I feel like a wuss because I couldn't go all the way when I had those chances. I may have gotten in big trouble through those times but I atleast I would've experienced sex. I might've also felt some guilt at the sametime but atleast I would've experienced it.

 

Be happy that you have standards. Standards are a good thing. Like I said, going to your local gym and hitting on everything/anything that walks by and accepting whomever says yes---doesn't seem that exciting---to me anyway.

 

I don't click with a lot of people here at this university. I'm not sure if its because its a conservative place and that I'm liberal. It makes me sad, and I wish I could find people like me around here. I've found a little release through this outdoor activity of caving and camping, but I still feel like I can't really click with those people.

 

Can you transfer to another University that is more 'liberal'?

 

It's good you have some interests outside of the University you attend. Maybe investigate on expanding on those interests in addition to other ones, too.

 

Bottom line- don't feel any sort of self-imposed/or exogenous (i.e., societal) pressure to do certain things. Do them on your time--not anyone elses.

[emit_remmus]

Can you transfer to another University that is more 'liberal'?

 

I would love to do that or go somewhere out of state, but thats expensive. I'm struggling just to pay the bills right now, and lots of stuff is happening. Tests, volunteering at the anthropology lab, work, my parents are in the middle of moving, maybe even out of state.

[emit_remmus]

Plus it'd be nice to do things with a girl. Like go see a movie, eat lunch or dinner, have someone to study with, or just talk to. All these things require interaction, and a lot of the girls I meet just don't click, but I still find them attractive. Its a lot easier when they're attracted to me.

[Altruist]

If there is no click, and you suspect that there never will be, its better not to go out with the girl at all otherwise you will be guilty of leading her on.

[annie24]

Plus it'd be nice to do things with a girl. Like go see a movie, eat lunch or dinner, have someone to study with, or just talk to. All these things require interaction, and a lot of the girls I meet just don't click, but I still find them attractive. Its a lot easier when they're attracted to me.

 

you can just have female friends then. Nothing wrong with that. You don't have to take things to the next level.