Is this even right?

[Ericson]

So, to make this a short read i'll only use the essentials.

 

Few months ago, met, got close, dated.. then went exclusive. Few months after that, she innitiated the break-up (She was stressed about college, nothing to do with me all her end) I accepted it moved on.

 

Been a few months since that, here I am, all better, then she comes back wanting to date.

 

So I figure, why not, maybe it will last. Problem is, there are these 3 other guys shes dating right now.. and basically I was pretty hurt when she broke up with me, I let her know this before I went NC.. since she's asked me if I'll date her, but I don't want my heart to break again over this girl.

 

So my question to you is: if she's trying to date me after breaking up with me should she focus all on me and forget these other guys or am I over-analyzing?

 

Another question: Should she be the one to AT LEAST ask me somewhere for the first date? Or should I take innitiative?

[DN]

If I were in your place I would tell her thanks but no thanks.

 

I might say "date me only and we'll see how things go" but I doubt it.

[Ericson]

This was before I knew about them.. sigh*.. what do I say now? I've been acting like it doesn't bother me, i've even encouraged it just to throw off any sort of suspicion (I know I know)

[Lady Bugg]

Ericson....DN igives awesome advice. he wouldn't steer you wrong..besides why are you denying how you feel? That's not fair to you.

Another thing is....maybe she's telling you this to provoke a reaction from you?? Just a thought...

[Ericson]

You see, it's not easy, i'm not the most attractive guy, and to finally find someone who ACTULLY likes me is amazing.. Maybe it's because im desperate?

[EvaGina]

This was before I knew about them.. sigh*.. what do I say now? I've been acting like it doesn't bother me, i've even encouraged it just to throw off any sort of suspicion (I know I know)

 

sit down and tell her that you were put in an awkward situation and you dont want to date her if she is seeing other men.

Dont be mean about it, just tell her honsetly, what you told us

[lady00]

You see, it's not easy, i'm not the most attractive guy, and to finally find someone who ACTULLY likes me is amazing.. Maybe it's because im desperate?

 

You shouldn't knock yourself. A lot of how people perceive you has to do with confidence and standing up for yourself. I think that you are selling yourself short by settling for being one of your ex's three guys after having been exclusive with her in the past. Even if you hadn't been with her in the past, if you're not comfortable with someone you're dating seeing multiple people, then you shouldn't go along with it just because you might think there is objectively nothing wrong with it. Sure, dating multiple people is fine as long as all people know about it and are cool with it. But you don't seem cool with it. It's not what you want is it? Stand up for yourself and tell her you're not interested. She'll respect you more and you'll also respect yourself more and feel a new sense of confidence. Don't settle for less than what you want.

[heloladies21]

I can guarantee you that if you accept what is basically a friends with benefits situation like this, then it willend in another heartbreak. This has been proven 120% to be the case in situations like yours.

[friscodj]

You see, it's not easy, i'm not the most attractive guy, and to finally find someone who ACTULLY likes me is amazing.. Maybe it's because im desperate?

 

This a much deeper issue, my friend, than weighing the pros and cons of being bachelor #4 waiting in line at this one cookie jar, hoping to pull out a treat and take a bite before she snatches it away from you again...

 

So what's going on here? Why is your self-perception so negative and your desperation so positive?

[Ericson]

This a much deeper issue, my friend, than weighing the pros and cons of being bachelor #4 waiting in line at this one cookie jar, hoping to pull out a treat and take a bite before she snatches it away from you again...

 

So what's going on here? Why is your self-perception so negative and your desperation so positive?

 

Guess you could say I look at every angle, but never choose the right path. I walk the road less traveled if you will.

[friscodj]

I walk the road less traveled if you will.

 

You'll meet someone else on your path, it's only a matter of time. Keep your head up while you're walking!