If it doesn't work out...gimme a call !!!!

[fnlyfrei]

My fiance and I recently have announced our engagement....and since then we both have been getting emails and phone calls...etc...from past people we have dated/had relationships with. I've had a few people even say that if it doesn't end up working out between us to give them a call....I find this weird...and wonder if my fiance is feilding offers like this too. It is just odd to me that hearing about an ex finding happiness would seem to encourage some people to try to get in there and confuse things...although I know that if something is strong and you really mean it no one can get in the middle....and that those past relationships did not work for a reason....sheesh. I trust him and believe in myself....and I told him although I know it is happening...I would rather not hear about it. And I would rather not tell him who calls or mails and everything they say...it doesn't matter to me....and why make him anxious? I guess what I am asking is, is this some kind of test? Is this why people announce engagements? Is he correct when he says he wants to let me know who mails or calls him, that he wants to be open? Or can I spare myself knowing...and visa versa and just know that we have chosen each other and no one else matters? I feel like he was just trying to see if I would become jealous if he told me....and I don't really feel like telling him who has contacted me...because it doesn't matter. Any thoughts?

[Jeffrey2095]

Hello Fnlyfrei,

 

I don't think that it should matter what others may be trying to do...

 

You'd think that simple congratulations would be about all someone would say.

 

I personally, would just try and overlook the left-handed stuff.

 

Soon you will be married, and these folks will just have to get used to it.

 

Good luck, congratulations and best wishes for the future.

 

Jeffrey

[Caterina]

That is odd...I don't really know. But what you're exes do is really irrevelant, which you know...chalk it up to how wonderful of a person you are and ignore them.

[chigal28]

It does seem odd...but I guess you could just look at it as flattering, and if you do want to say something in response to those people, maybe it could be something along the lines of "well thanks, but I'm very happy and I know I have nothing to worry about!"

[anggrace]

Odd yes. I agree that you should not have to inform eachother each time it happens. Whats the point of that? Does he want you to feel jealous?

[fnlyfrei]

Exactly. I know he has dated many women, he is very attractive...but no...I just don't care to know. I guess the need for constant ego bolstering could be a reddish flag. Or perhaps I am overly sensitive. Could be both.

[jimthzz]

Anyone who considers an engagement announcement as opportunity to hit on the soon-to-be bride has really made a faux pas bordering on the offensive.

 

If it is lame attempt at humor it is ill-conceived at best.

[sidehop]

Pretty obvious some of your friends (if you consider them) would go after your fiance if it didn't work out. Kind of rude in my opinion.

[anggrace]

Exactly. I know he has dated many women, he is very attractive...but no...I just don't care to know. I guess the need for constant ego bolstering could be a reddish flag. Or perhaps I am overly sensitive. Could be both.

 

Nope,

Don't thing your being overly sensitive. All you should have to say is "Id rather not hear about it", and he should be understanding. Thats nice he wants to be "open" with you, but really I think it might have to do with a little something else.- as you mentioned

[fnlyfrei]

Nope sidehop. My friends havent wanted to go out with my fiance. That isnt what my post said.

[caro33]

fnlyfrei I think you are taking a sensible approach.

 

I agree that exes thinking it's appropriate or funny are showing poor form, but that it should also be largely irrelevant to your plans together from here on.

 

It doesn't seem particularly constructive to me to share all this stuff - no need to create nerves or worries where there are none. I think the situation changes if there were any concerns about particular exes, but if we are talking about anonymous people from each of your pasts, may as well just leave them there.

 

Congratulations by the way!

[fnlyfrei]

Thanks ! The wedding is to take place in July. Hoping to have a really fun, casual wedding in the mountains here in Colorado. We are both looking forward to it. We have LOTS to do in the meantime !