My relationship with an older married women.

[Paul_09]

Ok so here's my story, im 19 in a couple of months, and im love with a 40 year old married women. Shes cute, gorgous, fun to be with and very kind hearted.

 

I met her 2 years ago when i started my job, we got closer and started a phsiycal relationship 6 months ago, i did most of the chasing.

 

She's the first women i've been with, and i'm the second shes ever slept with. We have a healthy relationship. I really do love her, and i know she loves me, her family all know about me, with the exception of her husband, who just knows basic stuff with us.

 

Shes said if were still together in a year or so, she'd more than likly leave him for me, but she needs to be sure about this as she has 2 teenage kids, ( 13 and 15). And i have yet to get my first home, im saving about living with my parents.

 

Im not sure though, i often get lonely when i know shes with him, she knows he's been seeing someone else, but not the full details.

 

So i love her, and i'd die for her, is she right for me? My only other consideration is i'd love kids, and shes said she doesnt think she'd want any more, this makes me a little sad,

 

Just thought i'd share my story, as i'd like to hear your opinions.

 

Thanks alot everyone.

[Mythical_Suicide]

For one, you're having an affair with a married woman which is WRONG! two, this woman has told you to wait another year to see if you're worth leaving her husband over???? What is her problem? Seriously, she's wrong in all aspects of cheating on her spouse AND pretty much leading you. I'd skip out on this relationship as quick as possible it seems like it could be trouble and I Think you're in for more heartache than its worth cuz it just seems she wants her young stud and her marriage so pretty much having her cake and eating it to. Not to mention its wrong that you're sleeping with a married woman. She is sleeping with you outside of her marriage who is to say she isnt having an affair with someone else? She will lie and deceive one partner who she has been married to for so long she will sure enough do it to another.

 

Besides, you are only 19 and have stated you want kids in the future well hun she is 40 and has two teenage kids its doubtful she will ever want to go through that again and the older she gets the lower her chances of conceiving are.

[melrich]

We have a healthy relationship.

 

I'm not so sure about that.

 

If I were you I would be thinking very long and hard about both the reality of what is going on here and the likelihood of sustainability.

 

is she right for me?

 

I don't think so on the facts.

[Dako]

I assume she lives with her husband and he doesn't realize she's cheating.

In that case, I think you're going to have a rough time ahead when he knows and this turns into a big mess. The fact that they have children is a huge factor, and she can't walk away from such a complex life without some serious drama.

 

Be careful. You're on thin ice.

[robowarrior]

INFIDELITY.

 

Or known as cheating = wrong.

 

You want to justify your wrong doings by posting here that you are in a healthy relationship. I ask you ' do you honestly believe that yourself? ' ,of course not , the husband will FLIP once he hears his 40 year old wife has been cheating on him with a 19 year old.

 

I know you want to be with this woman, but you have to do what is right. My advice Is like brushing your teeth its not nice but its the healthy thing to do. My advice is to immediately end your relationship with this woman.

 

Tell her that you don't want to hurt the feelings of her husband, and that you won't allow yourself to be in a relationship with her until she is divorced and freely available.

[agent1607307371]

So i love her, and i'd die for her, is she right for me? My only other consideration is i'd love kids, and shes said she doesnt think she'd want any more, this makes me a little sad,

 

No. She's not. If you want kids and she doesn't (and she already has her family who are nearly grown) then she is not likely to change her mind.

 

If you really want them, it's better to look for someone who wants them and avoid the pain that this issue can bring.

 

Also, are you ready for all the drama this relationship is going to bring? A LOT of people are going to really be angry about it, and the fallout can be huge in a way I don't think people really think about.

[wintersolstice]

I found this thread very, very alarming..

 

I hope you are not the hard-headed stuborn-willed type and you will heed the advice given to on this forum.

 

You have to run (not walk) in the opposite direction of this woman...

 

She is a married 40 year old (twice your age.)

 

She is undoubtedly your first serious relationship.

 

I do not think you in anyway shape or form should set your heart on her.

 

She is a bad person (how can you say she's kind hearted) she is cheating on her husband WITH A KID!

 

I suggest you do some reading about the real dynamics of the relationship you are in i.e. old married woman cheating on husband with much younger man and hopefully you will realize the true reality of what you are involved in.

 

She is using you. She is stringing you along. This is not a fairytale. You're 19. This is very bad news.

[doyathink]

she knows he's been seeing someone else, but not the full details.

 

Are you saying he is having an affair as well?

[Bethany]

You are her toyboy and you stroke her ego. Walk away now and find TRUE love, because this isn't it!

[BeStrongBeHappy]

oh wait, you leave the part that she is married out til the middle! i was thinking well, big age difference but ok if both having fun, until i saw that part about her being married... there really is no such thing as a healthy affair... this is a triangle, and involves lying, and probably lots of it, and her lying to you too...

 

most married people who are engaging in affairs will tell their affair partner anything that works to keep it going to their advantage... she has a home, family, etc., and she has a young guy in you for some hot sex... this is no different than the older man/younger girl affair, and i really doubt that she would leave her husband for you, because she would lose a lot in the divorce if it is discovered she is cheating with a teenager (you!)...

 

you also have to take with a grain of salt everything she tells you about her family, i.e., her husband is cheating on her, she might leave, etc. etc. those could be lies too, just like she is lying to her husband about you...

 

so please, recognize that she might be using you, and in a year, or as long as you'll put up with it, she'll find some reason not to leave her husband... this is a very large age gap between you, and you are a teenager, and she is middle aged with kids almost as old as you are, so the likelihood of this being a true love situation that works out is really small...

 

please date other people closer to your own age, and who are truly available to you, all the time, and above board and honestly.