Has anyone...

[Neworleanslady]

Has anyone felt seriously irritated with their boyfriend/girlfriend/finance or husbands. Has it ever seemed like every thing they do drives you insane? Do you find yourself trying to let it go but can't. Is this normal in a relationship? I love my fiance, but we have had some issues and I am constantly irritated. Sigh, I am avoiding him now so I won't start a conflict. It is miserable.

[HellFrost666]

Some level of iritation is normal in every relationship. I know I annoy the hell out of my girlfriend sometimes, but not all the time.

 

Feeling this way all the time, in my opinion, is not normal.

 

What does he do that is so annoying?

[DN]

I read your previous thread from yesterday where you were upset because he didn't propose in the way that you wanted.

 

Now you are seriously irritated with him. Is that about the same issue or something else?

 

Are you sure it is wise for you to be in a relationship with this guy at all? He doesn't seem to be able to do much that pleases you. Perhaps you would be better waiting for someone else.

[Neworleanslady]

It isn't all the time. It just seems like he has been on a roll lately. We have had some tension builders that may be contributing. In essense we are totally different. I am very organized and he is not. I stay on top of things and he waits until it is almost too late. I offer to do certain things that pertain to both of us and he says no he will do it. Then he doesn't in a timely manner. I guess we are just so different.

[Neworleanslady]

Like i said I think it is a snowball effect.

[AwdreeHpburn]

Yeh NewOrelans - I'm gonna agree here. I think some level of irritation with ANYONE you spend a lot of time with is gonna be normal. But to be constantly so.....not a good sign girl...

[BeStrongBeHappy]

i read your other thread too... please be sure that you aren't staying with this guy because you want to be married... and maybe he is not the right guy?

 

i think everyone gets on each other's nerves *some* of the time, but a lot of the time, no, that is a bad sign. you are not even married yet, and if he is irritating you all the time, it willl only get worse if you are married and feel trapped with him...

 

please try to resolve what your problems are BEFORE you take a step like marriage... it is much harder to break up when married, all kinds of legal and financial issues then...

[caro33]

I got stressed and angry a little while after we got engaged. We had some stressors but I really got narky, a bit like you describe.

 

In me at least I think it was a fear of commitment and of being hurt, and I chose to express this through building up and obsessing over a particular problem I had had with his ex, as well as resenting his slothfulness and a dumb thing he did when he sold his place and moved into mine. It was a few things at once that meant I reacted with a "oh no! maybe I can't do this! aaarrgh!!!".

 

One of the things that helped was a book called The Power of Commitment. It helped me change my perspective and understand better how to think about it all. I also read Dr Phil's book (his most recent, or second most recent) - actually I scanned it in Borders - but that helped my perspective also.

 

I may sound like quite the self-help book advocate but I'm not really. These books did help me in my exploration of these issues though. They really set my mind at ease and helped me view my then-fiance much more kindly.

 

Oh, Lies at the Altar is also a book that's good for unpicking value issues and how aligned you guys are.

[Neworleanslady]

I really appreciate your thread because I really need positive advice and not condemnation right now. I know how what I complain about must seem to people, but I feel sad as well. So I am going to Borders today to get those books. I am glad to know I am not the only snarky one out here. Thank you very much! You have no idea.