Im pregnant

[piegirl]

So everything is ok. As far as being pregnant goes. Should be due end of September.

 

I have to tell me BF tonight. He has no clue. I have been on Ortho Tri Cyclen Lo for the last year. I missed my first pill on this month's pack. We were flying back from California and I packed my pills in my suitcase and did not have them to take until I unpacked the next day. I thought it would not be a big deal at the time. We brought back so much stuff that I was not even which if the 11 suitcases they were packed in. Guess I was wrong it was a big deal.

 

This seems like a really bad time to get pregnant. We have talked about having a baby in few years. I have 8 year old twin daughters. My BF does not have any children. He works full time and is going to school at night working on his bachelors in engineering. So he is not home much through the week. I lost my job a couple of months ago and have not yet found work.

 

So I am not sure how to feel about this. Hopefully everything will work out.

[Mythical_Suicide]

are you sure you're pregnant? it seems kind of early to know for sure, especially if you've been on birth control for so long and just missed 1 pill this month.

[rocio]

Congratulations!

 

If you decide that this is really the wrong time, there's nothing wrong with ending it. You know that, right?

 

But I really hope you keep it. Everyone says there's no "right" time to have a baby, and I agree with that. How do you feel about this? Is there a part of you that wants it? Things will be hectic for a while, but with your bf being such a hard worker, and soon to have a degree in engineering, I think you will be able to offer a wonderful life to the child. I'm 8 months pregnant and my bf is just starting his phd. But it's ok because babies don't need a lot of money to be happy. Once they are older, you can spend money to improve their life (sending them to a private school, taking them travelling, etc.) but for the first few years, all they want is love and stability.

[vandgsmom]

Oh, so the doctor confirmed, huh?

 

 

Well, since it sounds like you aren't considering any other options than having it and keeping it, the only next step is just to accept that the new arrival is coming and accomidate it as best you can...

 

Your bf may be totally estatic, you never know. And as far as you not working... maybe now that you are preggers you can apply for benefits from your state and get a little extra help that will make up for the unemployment deficit...

 

Take a deep breath, and Congrats!

[arwen]

Hey piegirl,

 

That is some news! I think that you should go to a doctor to have a bloodtest asap. That way you will know for sure and get advise about what to do, when to have the first obgyn appointment, echo, etc. As for your personal situation... since you are in a stable relationship with a man who also thinks about starting a family-- I think hazey is VERY right. There is no 'right' time. Now it is your job loss, but you could also have a type of job that takes so much time (like mine with the 60 hour weeks, it's crazy), and then you would also doubt between career and children. My parents were quite poor when they had me, and my sister was unplanned (yet VERY welcome ), and we had a very happy childhood. There are a lot of pregnant ladies on the board here, and I am sure there will be sufficient people to advise you on saving on the expenses with a young child.

 

I think the most important thing is to tell the bf and see what he feels about the situation. I think that everything will work out just fine.

 

Arwen

[scarew]

Congrats

 

I hope you can work everything out with your bf. Do you think your little girls will be excited?

[piegirl]

I am most defintely pregnant. My girls will be ecstatic when they find out. They have been asking me to have brother for years now. My sister has a 1 and 2 year old and they love when they come to visit. They play mommy to them both and are great with them.

 

You are right there is no good time to have a baby. When I had my girls I was not in a good situation. They are happy and healthy.

 

Terminating a pregnancy is not an option for me. I will deal with it.

 

As far as my BF goes. He will not be happy but in time he will be. He worries all the time about money and all the things that we need to do but can't or haven't had time to do. He is just like that. He is great guy though and while his initial reaction will not be good he will come to terms with it.

[Beec]

Don't be so certain about his reaction. I'm still waiting to be told what he will be, but I know that I went through one time when she was worried, and we had only been dating three months at the time. The timing would have been terrible, and tough to explain to our families, but otherwise, I will say that I was disappointed when it was not to be at that time.

 

I am sure he will love his child. What more is required?

[Hope75]

Hi Piegirl,

 

When do you plan to tell your boyfriend?

[piegirl]

I am planning on talking to him tonight when he gets home.

[AwdreeHpburn]

Hey pie girl!! Congrats!!

 

At least you have TWO girls who are definitely old enough to help out!! And I'm sure your bf will deal. Especially if you've talked about having kids at some point. So it happened earlier than you'd planned...that's the ONLY way it's ever worked for me....

[jengh]

Congratulations!! I'm sure your girls will be ecstatic!! When do you plan on telling them?

As far as your boyfriend goes, just remain calm. If you've talked about having children a few years down the road, I think he may be shocked, but ultimately, be very happy

 

Good luck with your talk!

[ImThatGirl]

First off, I want to congratulate you on your upcoming bundle of joy! Congrats!

 

I'm sure you are already nervous enough.... But I just want to give you a light suggestion to tread lightly.

 

Did he know that you missed one pill? I'm a single mother of two children. I just want to mention that in the insert, it says if you miss one pill, double up for the next dose. It then says "if you miss up to 3 pills, use extra precaution." Just a heads up on that.

 

Secondly, I'm a little concerned that you went out Friday night with your boyfriend and had the situation that you had and then come Monday you are taking a pregnancy test. 1) Did it not occur to you on Friday that you may be pregnant? 2) Raises red flags that he may not be very accepting.

 

I am honestly not trying to offend you here. But now at an older age, after my own careless decisions that I've learned from, I am concerned that without him planning on this baby, you are going to have a long road ahead of you.

 

So - I guess I'm trying to say that you should be prepared for any reaction out of him. Just because you talked about having a baby in a few years does not mean that he is going to accept this.

[piegirl]

The Friday we went out was over a week ago now. We spent last Friday at his grandma's house and Saturday we stayed home and hung out together. So no at that time I did not think that in week I would be takign a pregnancy test.

 

I fairly certain that he will not be happy with the situation but that he will deal with it.

 

Yes he knew that I missed that the pill we talked about it at the time that it happened.

 

I know the type of person he is and he will not reject this baby. He may be unhappy about it but he is great person and will do whatever it takes to work through this situation. That I do not doubt.

[jengh]

I'm so glad you have such a great boyfriend. If he's supportive of your 2 daughters, I'm sure he will make a great father.

[ImThatGirl]

I do hope I didn't upset you with my post.

 

I've just seen the situation many times where a mother gets pregnant without planning and the father is not very accepting. (I've experienced it first hand with my daughters father)

[piegirl]

No I am not offended. I have been there as well. My daughters have no contact with their father. After we divorced he remarried and had another baby within a year. After that he would call and wish to see them every 6 months to a year. The constant unreliability was very hard the girls. Right after christmas 2004 he called and and wished to see them. This was the first that he had called in over 2 years. I made the decision at that time to ask him to not contact me or attempt to contact the girls anymore.

 

When he would see them he would put me down and cause them to question me. He would tell them that I was the reason that he did not see them more often. Yet when he would call me he would tell me that he had a new family now and did not have time to call more often.

 

The girls are fine without seeing him and he has made no furhter attempts to coontact them.

 

So understand your questions. I was offended at all.

 

Thank you

[ImThatGirl]

I am truly rooting for you - & - Your girls... Just stay strong. And don't forget that it was unexpected but he will adjust in time. I can imagine the next couple of days may be a little stressful.

 

The unreliability is the worst, isn't it?

 

Hugs to you~~~

[jengh]

How's your situation going, piegirl? Everything okay?

[rocio]

Did you tell him?

[piegirl]

Well, No I have not told him yet. He had class last night and then I had forgotten that he was bringing a cople of people home to study. So it was 11 or so when the house was empty of extra people.

 

So we will talk soon. It is supposed to be another long night.

[katie831]

Good luck hun, everyone here is behind you

x

[piegirl]

So I still have not told him.

 

We were in bed last night gettign ready to go to sleep when I said "You know I still have not started." He said what's that mean and I said I normally start on Saturday or Sunday this is Wednesday night and nothing yet.

 

Then he said you better not be pregnant but if you are I want DNA test. Of course the last part he said jokingly and hugged me.

 

Then this morning when he was about to get out of bed for work he says " When do oyu take your pills now and I said this was my week off but that I take them when I put the kids to bed since they go to bed at the same time every day. So I said again it's Thursday and I have not started yet.

 

I don't know I should have used that as an opening to tell him but he seems so clueless I thought it might be better to at least give him a chance to realize that it is possible. I have got to tell him and soon.

[rocio]

You don't have to shelter him from this news. Who was there to break it to you lightly when you found out? He bears equal responsibility in this.

 

At the same time, I understand that you want to get as positive a response out of him as possible (or the least negative?) I'm sorry about his stupid DNA comment. Guys can be so clueless and tactless sometimes.

[Beec]

Just take a test and show him the results. He already knows what you are thinking, he's just trying not to react. Nice job so far easing him into those thoughts.