Getting over

[Castiron]

Hello everyone, this is my first real post, so bare with me. Me and my ex broke up about a week ago now. I'm still hurting inside, while whenever i see or talk to her now, she makes it feel like we were never together in the first place. That is the reason i am hurting so bad, how can you just up and forget about a person you spent so much time with. Last night before she left, she said that she does love me and she didn't just up and forgot me and that she still cares about me. I have had regrets on if i did this differently, or that differently. Something which i told her last night when we hung out some. She reassured me that it isnt all my fault this relationship didnt work, but like i said i cant help but feel this way. After she says stuff like that, it makes me feel alot better and i wish i could hear it more often, but once and a while i will get into a slump of depression and things get all sad again. In the end of all this, we decided to remain friends, and we hang out once and a while. To tell you the truth, it kinda helps me with the healing process. I thought i would be hurt by hanging out part, but i'm not. I'm just hurt because of the things that i have stated in the beginning of the post. I'm just hoping one day soon we can sit down and have a little conversation, about how i feel and how she feels and put everything out on the table. She always says to me let me know how you feel so i will do it this way. What is everyone's advice to this whole situation. Any kind of input would help. Thanks

[margaret]

Breaking up is very difficult. You may feel sad because, in a way, you have lost a companion. Time is needed to adjust to this change. I want to reassure you that your up and down feelings are normal. Find some new things to do that don't remind you of your old flame. If you are comfortable seeing her occasionally, great. Remember, you are you! Have confidence in yourself and you will feel better soon.

[reborn]

One week is a really short time post breakup. You may not even have started really hurting yet. Not too sound mean or pessimistic or anything, but you don´t really start healing until you get past the hurting.

This is just to add to the comment the other poster made, that breaking up is hard to do. Very hard indeed. At first we go through denial and shock and then a roller coaster of feelings.

It is very good that your ex seems to be a very nice, caring a sensitive friend through this process. You are lucky she is choosing to be with you so far and to do things in a way that makes this easier for you. I don´t know however if in the long run this will be better or worst on you. At some point, no matter what, unless you guys end up going back, you do have to realize that it is truly over and that you guys are not really together now. There may be a time when she may not be there to help you through the process, as it was her decision to end the relationship.

I am very sorry you are going through this. All I can tell you is that this site is full of hurting people but also of survivors. Of survivors of the emotional pain and trauma that breakup cause that you may or may not experience at this point. I hope things work out really great for you. Just remember that we are here for you. Use this site whenever you need to for expressing your feelings, questions, frustrations and to update us.

Again sorry if I sound pessimistic, just that a breakup is a breakup. Most of us here have gone through it, one week is too early a period to really fully feel what has transcurred especially if you still keep loving ties with your ex (I mean loving in the sense that she is treating you with deep caring and consideration). No matter what just feel your feelings, do try to realize that the type of relationship you had with your ex is over for good, and be gentle with your self. Best of luck to you.

-Reborn