What is your opinion of me?

[renaissancewoman101]

After a good sleep I feel a bit better. I sometimes get worried what people think about me. I can be very self-conscious.

[renaissancewoman101]

I have a very low opinion of myself and sometimes use the opinions of others to buoy my self-esteem.

[rocio]

I think that you are witty and beautiful and I would love to be friends with someone like you, in real life or just on ENA. I also think that you are your own worst enemy because you don't give yourself the credit you deserve.

[AwdreeHpburn]

Hey Ren -

 

I've known you for quite some time now and I gotta say....

 

What you should do is PRINT out these responses and post them on your refridgerator. Look at them everyday.

 

These are things people think of you. If you feel unsure - look again.

 

But I have a feeling people saying it isn't enough because you don't believe it.

 

EVERYONE feels insecure at some point or about something. It's natural and very normal.

 

But...if I'm being honest here, I think your obsessed with how people view you - to your own detriment.

 

It's not a bad thing at all to be interested in knowing, we're all curious. Actually...... I don't wanna know...but you can't be soooo consumed by what others think that you don't ever actually take into consideration what they say.

 

Stop asking - start paying attention to how they react to you, look at you, interact with you, what things they say to you.

 

And pay attention to your own behaviours. Do YOU think you're clingy?? I think you think you are. Pay attention. Start catalouging. Stop analysing until you have some data TO look at.

 

Do you know what I mean??

 

I hope I don't come accross to harshly, but I know this is an issue for you because you've discussed it several times now. And I don't want you to get discouraged and shy away from it because someone says stop asking. I don't mean it that way. I mean it in a take action sort of way.

 

Stop asking and start paying attention to the reason you STILL have this question.

 

There are soooooo many out here who like you, think you're funny, fun to hang out with and spend their ENA time with. Don't forget it - print it and post it up and look at it daily!!!

[AwdreeHpburn]

I love you.

 

 

 

dude.....

 

 

you crack me up

[LONESOUL]

Ren,

I think you seem like an awesome person from your posts. You seem

very caring, and very honest. You cannot seem to hide your heart of gold.

Try not too worry to much about what other people think though, this would has billions of people in it and we are all different. Some will like us, some will not. (you don't like EVERYONE either, do you?) I think you are well liked here. I think people would really miss you if you were not here to post and brighten their days, I know I would.

[Juliana]

I only know what I read here on the site, and that tells me that you're intelligent, ambitious, stronger than you think you are. I have always thought that you have a great deal more going for you than you realize; you internalize too many negative messages, I think.

[renaissancewoman101]

Thanks to all who posted. I know this was a cheesy thread but I was feeling down and worried about some things. Still am but trying not to let life bother me.

[forza2]

I think you're a good person, but sorry to say this, sometimes you sound very negative.

 

I think you're very honest and caring, but I can say that ENA does make you think that way. I spent alotta times here, then one day I was feeling just the way you do now, and stopped logging in. I still post once in a while, but ENA was taking over my life, and I had to take my life back. Right now I feel like me again.

 

RW101: My advice to you would be to shut your computer down, and just get away. Go for a walk (its cold, wear something), go to a park during the day if you have nothing else to do, see people, look around you, say "Good Morning" to people who're walking their Dogs, communicate, go some where, where there are alotta people (Food courts in Malls). Mission Veijo's mall has a very nice food court with my favorite (Mongolian Food) and its always packed. We're all human and do need to communicate w/one another.

 

Hope you feel better.

 

To Admins: Please do NOT delete this post as its true.

[Caldus]

I have been on here for over a year now. I have made friends, posted advice, etc. This place has kind of taken over for real life friends. Besides school, I dont go out to make friends much anymore.

 

I know I can be a pest and a nuisance at times. I've been told that before. I also strive to be understanding, helpful, caring, etc.

 

I know I am asking for honest comments, but I want you guys to tell me what you think of me. Am I annoying? Do I come off as clingy, scared, what?

 

I feel inadequate about some things and want reassurance that people like me. I think people hate me. I dont know why but I feel that way a lot of times.

 

From what I have read, you have put up with a lot of crap in the past and I applaud you for all of the strength you have to overcome this crap. You do not come off as clingy or scared or anything like that. I do not think anyone on here hates you. I certainly don't. In fact it's great to have you here. You have helped me a bit with my own problems in life and I think I have helped you too. You seem like a pretty cool person from what I can tell, so don't get down about it!

[dogheadma]

 

RW101: My advice to you would be to shut your computer down, and just get away. Go for a walk (its cold, wear something), go to a park during the day if you have nothing else to do, see people, look around you, say "Good Morning" to people who're walking their Dogs, communicate, go some where, where there are alotta people (Food courts in Malls). Mission Veijo's mall has a very nice food court with my favorite (Mongolian Food) and its always packed. We're all human and do need to communicate w/one another.

 

 

This is so very true and an excellent idea.

 

And ren, for what it's worth, you seem to me like a really good person who doesn't give herself nearly enough credit.

 

You are the only you on the face of this earth, so celebrate it always!

[renaissancewoman101]

Forza, you're right. I need to get out more. Besides school, I am here most of the time. I don't socialize a lot and I think that has done a number on me. I am more afraid of people and doing things than I used to be. Maybe being on the computer all the time is NOT a good thing.

[Caldus]

Forza, you're right. I need to get out more. Besides school, I am here most of the time. I don't socialize a lot and I think that has done a number on me. I am more afraid of people and doing things than I used to be. Maybe being on the computer all the time is NOT a good thing.

 

I can definitely second that. It seems like the more often I am away from the computer, the more often I seem to be happy lately. I don't know why. But anyway, yeah, you should definitely try out what they suggested. I think I should too...

[caro33]

Ren I wholeheartedly support getting away from here for a while if that helps. Your friends here will be here when you get back. I have found that since spending more time on ENA I have been feel more and more disconnected from everyone else and everything else. I have also felt more alone, and questioned myself much more since I started posting here.

 

The fact is that this is just not normal human interaction. You are putting your thoughts and feelings into space and hoping someone will respond, and then sometimes they don't. If you are anything like me, you might take it a bit personally when people don't respond, but think about it - that person who you seek some validation from might have signed off, they might have gone to bed, gone for a walk, resumed work etc. It's got nothing to do with you. Hey, you get heaps more responses than I do - I feel like a complete loser twit most of the time around here .

 

People on an internet forum cannot give you all you need, you need to look into people's eyes, see that they SEE you. You need to know that when you say something that the person you direct it to is listening to you. You need to engage with life. When I start to do this, I feel better about things. I think forza is spot on.

 

While ENA is great n'all, we need to also recognise it has its limits. I know that the 'putting thoughts out there and getting no response' thing has gotten me down a lot, but I think it's because my expectations of what ENA actually is are too high. People come and go, they have lives. You need to develop your own too.

[renaissancewoman101]

Caro33, you are so correct. This year I have spent almost ALL my free time on here and, besides school, I really dont have a life. I do see this place as a helpful place but you are right, it doesnt take the place of live people, live interaction, live friends.

[caro33]

Caro33, you are so correct. This year I have spent almost ALL my free time on here and, besides school, I really dont have a life. I do see this place as a helpful place but you are right, it doesnt take the place of live people, live interaction, live friends.

 

It's complex isn't it. Almost like an addiction. You want to connect, so you disconnect from society. But that makes you feel more disconnected, so you stay here longer, connecting. Aaargh. At least that's my experience.

 

How about limiting your time here for a couple of days and make sure you go outside instead. Like a project. How about you start a thread when you get back from your adventures and tell us what you did that day - I would like to hear your stories of intrigue in the outside world. Make it exciting! I am stuck here at work, bored out of my tiny brain!

[Maverick32x]

I'm in social psych here at uni. And there was a study done to see if people who were in a bad mood were more or less likely to help people... and it turns out that if you are sad, or depressed, you are more likely to help people...

(which makes sense seeing that alot of people are drawn here when they are at low points of their life)

 

Keeping that in mind, if you feel like you spend so much time helping us virtual people, maybe you should try to take your gift of err.. "Helpfullness" (not sure if thats a good word there.. but i think you get it) and spread it to other people!!!! That way you maintain societal connections and still get to visit us