Who has been to a psychologist?

[sweetheart21]

Do they help you fix your problems or do they only listen to you talk about them?

 

Do they give you advice and tell you how to get better?

[applepie]

They try to use ways to get you to think differently about particular problems. They can't just fix your problems. You have to be willing to do the work. They can help you through things, give you support etc.

 

Some people find them helpful, others not. I guess it also depends on the actual psychologist too.

[Newo Ikkin]

as the PP said, they cannot fix the problems for you, but I know thats not quite what you meant.

 

Six of one, half a dozen of the other. Some people despise the work they do, others live by them.

 

My counsellor is lovely. We're currently working on 'caretaker' issues, and looking at ways to put myself before others.

 

They work on issues with you, help you reach the root of things, help you to rationalise things...I have no beef with them.

[equinox]

I went to one for a few months and I have to say that she was fantastic. She just let me talk and was able to see what was wrong with me from what I said, like she was reading me.

[BYOB]

Psychologists are guides that make you think someway different than the way you see it. However, if you feel that you know how to take a different approach on things, well they are useless. What makes the greatest difference is probably that they are bound to professional secret. That plays on your favor when you fear to be betrayed by a friend or that you have no friend to confess to.

 

I could compare psychologists to sunglasses against bright (almost blinding) sunshine. You can see without them but usually not as clear as with them.

 

Personnally, I prefer this website rather than a psychologist since it's free, that more than one person will give you their point of view and finally since you can come here every day of the week without the prerequisite of having an appointment.

[rosie76]

I've had lukewarm experiences - it takes me a long time to relax enough to speak freely and to lay enough groundwork so that the therapist knows where I'm coming from. Also, I sometimes haven't really respected the person I'm talking to all that much, which makes things more difficult.

 

However, to a large extent I've found just having to say how you're feeling out loud helps to put the problem in perspective. And it's better than talking to friends because i) you get a chance to talk through anything you're feeling without being embarrassed about it and ii) good therapists can challenge your unhelpful patterns of thought in ways friends, who will want to be empathetic, can't.

[anggrace]

Well, my phycologist said, " I dont think we need to fix any thing, I just think you want to understand." I suppose it just depends on why you are going.

I found it to be helpfull. Sometimes I think you might have to try a few out before you find one that feels right to you.

[musicguy]

I had been going to a psychologist ever since I was 13. I stopped about 3 years ago and I think I need to go back...but they aren't going to help solve your problems, they are there to suggest certain ways that you can do to help solve your own personal battles, plus they can suggest if you need any medication or not. You, yourself have to find out whether you want to get better..not psychologists. I call them highly paid friends who listen to you

[Caterina]

Well, they may be pleasurable because its someone who is sitting there, listening to you, devoted to you and all your mess and trying to work things out with you...but its like paying for a friend without the friend really loving you.

 

As far as I'm concerned, they are really just another person. I mean, counting on them to help you is bound to create a disappointment unless you stumble on a particularly competent human being. Being a psychiatrist alone doesn't mean much in my book.

[Siriana]

Do they help you fix your problems or do they only listen to you talk about them?

 

Do they give you advice and tell you how to get better?

 

They help you fix the problem by showing you what is the main reason you are having a problem. And they determine that by talking to you. I think a good terapist is the one that talks, not only listens.

They are skilled to see your real background issues that produce external problems in your life and tought how to learn you to discover them and overcome them.

It is important to find a good one - like in every profession you can find rotten apples there too.

[kellbell]

Hey there,

 

I saw a social worker (LCSW) for 9 months and let me tell you, it was one of BEST decisions I have EVER made. She was awesome. I would NOT be where I am at today if I did not choose to see her.

 

I recommend a social worker because IMO, they tend to connect with their clients better. They are not caught up in the "scholarly" world as a Ph.D. (psychologist) can be. In my experience, social workers seem to be more down to earth. But of course, these are my personal experiences.

 

No therapist, whether he/she is a psychologist, social worker can "fix" your problems. Therapy and its effectiveness is based soley on the client and what he/she wants to get out of it. Of course, there has to be that trust and connection, but therapy is what the client makes of it.

 

Mostly I did "talk" therapy. I really did not get too deep. I did most of the talking and she listened, offered input, insight or even asked questions about how matters made me feel. She also gave me little homework assigments like, she had me look up the word "guilt" and really understand what the word means and so forth. Like I said, she is wonderful.

 

Good luck in whatever you decide.

[Pisces_Princess]

I am seeing a psychotherapist at the moment and he is excellent.

 

I have been suffering from depression the whole time I was living with my boyfriend as we moved in together just after I lost a baby.

 

I am having CBT and my therapist both talks and listens. He is giving me coping mechanisms after working out what my emotional triggers are.

 

I have never thought of therapy before, always thought it was self indulgent, but I would recommend it to anyone.

 

However, research well as it is a very intimate relationship and you will have to feel comfortable to be really open x

[shes2smart]

After multiple go-rounds with therapy over the last 30 years (some good, some excellent and some not-so-good), I can tell you this:

 

If you go in expecting a counselor/therapist to "fix" your problems, you're in for disappointment.

 

Their job is to act as a guide....you still have to walk the path and do the heavy lifting yourself.

[Lboogie23]

my therapist not only listened, but she also helped me fix my problems through listening. In the beginning it was mostly me talking and her listening. then eventually she gave me advice but it was always my choice to listen to her advice. She never put any expectations on me.

[sreupert]

I have a little different view about seeing a therapist then the others that had posted.

 

First of all if you go to see a dr. you have to understand that they are not going to fix your problems. You are the only one that can fix these. They do assist you in chaning your way of thinking. For instance, most everyone has used the word "problem". Instread of using the word "problem" you can replace this word with Challenge. It doesn't have such a negative conotation. There are other little things that you can change in your way of thinking of self talk that are similar to this. Instead of using the word "should" like "I should go back to School' You can replace it with "I could go back to school" The difference here is the emotion that are involved. Should often times has an association with guilt. if you don't do what you should do then you feel guilty. While "could" creates the feeling of choice, you decided to do something for yourself.

 

When you go to see a Dr. you need to have a set goal. What is it you are trying to accomplish? Are you looking for them to do things for you? If you are looking for them to answer your questions of "why?" then they will probably not be able to assist you. You need to be open to there suggestions. Not all dr's. are going to be complatible with you. I personally like to pick up a book and make some choices for myself. There is nothing wrong with going to the bookstore and looking in the self help sections. You are trying to grow and create the person you want to be. This is a good thing.

 

What exactly is the challenge you are having? Is is greif, loss of love, lack of motivation, career, friends, family, indicision, fear? If you want to start to take controle of your life there are many books you can read to assst you in this proccess. The first book I came accross is the book "The Strangest secret" by Earl Nightengale. It is short and sweet and gets to the point. I from there moved on to "Think and grow Rich" by Napolion Hill. This book talks about succes in the terms of career but also the fundamentals of what you need to be successfull. When I say "success" I don't mean being filthy rich. Success to me is having a goal an continually working towards that goal. Another easy read that I cam accross what "Feal the feer, and do it anyway" This talks about every kiind of fear that you have if it be as simple as gong to the grociery store, talking in large groups, chaning careers, moving on from a relationship..etc.

 

None the less there are many outlets you can utilize to assist you in your proccess of self growth. The bottom line is you need to believe and trust yourself in the choices you make. I'm glad to here that you are looking into ways to assist you. and yes a dr can be a very helpful tool in the procces.

 

 

Stop trying to find yourself..and start creating yourself.!!!

[sweetheart21]

If you are looking for them to answer your questions of "why?" then they will probably not be able to assist you.

Really!? Isn't that the whole point of being a psychologist? To understand why people act the way they do.

 

Most of my questions are 'why?'

Why am I the way I am. Why did my parents treat me the way they did. Why I cant get over depression.

 

I didn’t mean to imply that I wanted the psychologist to 'fix' everything.

I meant it more in the sense of, will they ONLY listen or do they give advice and help you to change.

 

Because I don’t really need to talk about my problems… I just want to change into a happier person but have no idea how to do it. And I find just talking doesn’t do anything.

[Siriana]

A good psycologist can help you.

Now, try to find a good one. it's like buying shoes - he's got to fit you.

[shes2smart]

The shrink I did the most productive work with simply pointed things out.

 

I'd go in and talk. When I'd pause, she'd point out things she noticed in what I'd just been saying: inconsistancies (saying I -or someone I was dealing with saying - wanted something, but acting in a different way), faulty thinking patterns, harmful/unrealistic ideas and so forth.

 

From that point, it was up to me to evaluate her observations, accept or reject them, and choose to notice/change what I was doing.

 

One thing that might be a stumbling block for you is focusing too much on the "why" of things. That's something I did. I (incorrectly) assumed if I knew the "why" that would resolve the issues.

 

Truth is, you don't need to know the "why" to make different choices about your thoughts, beliefs and actions today. Sometimes there's no way to find out the "why"...and sometimes, even if you do find out the "why," it doesn't make a damn bit of sense anyway. Sometimes there is no "why." (that was a big revelation for me...sometimes, there is no reason "why")

[shes2smart]

One other thing just occurred to me:

 

therapy got a lot more productive for me when I stopped focusing on "why am I/are things this way?" and started focusing on "how can I change myself/change things for the better?"

[kellbell]

Hey there Sweetheart,

 

With those kinds of issues I would suggest a psychiatist. If you battling bouts of depression, have some issues stemming with childhood and so forth. But Shes2Smart is really on the mark here, instead of focusing on why others do the things they do, try focusing on you and how you can change. And of course, therapy can assist you in making those changes.

[Siriana]

One other thing just occurred to me:

 

therapy got a lot more productive for me when I stopped focusing on "why am I/are things this way?" and started focusing on "how can I change myself/change things for the better?"

 

That's a good point. I think many people who need theraphy need theraphy first to make that clear to them. Choosing action instead complaining.