Children outside of marriage

[Batya33]

I agree with you that such a person "can be" - anything is possible - but in reality I think the chances of a single welfare mother being able to provide a stable - emotionally and financially - home for her child or children are far less than those children who are born into two parents homes where the parents are committed and financially and otherwise stable. You don't need to agree with me - from what I have read and learned it is proven that it is in the best interests of the child to be raised in a two parent stable home.

 

If that is the case I would hope that people would do their best to act in the best interests of their children - including in a decision whether to have children in the first place. Deliberately getting pregnant while you're single/on welfare is in my opinion not acting in the best interests of the child and should be considered a selfish act where the child and the rest of the community is concerned.

 

I'm not talking about the ideal situation for a child - but the minimum to which a child should be entitled where the person has a choice as to whether to have a child or not (and I am not referring to abortion as an option - I am referring to a choice as to whether to conceive a child or not).

 

And, I do not want to pay out of my taxes or charitable donations for a woman who would deliberately get pregnant while she is alone (without a committed partner) and on welfare. I do not know of any woman who has done that or who wants to do that, I am just saying hypothetically.

 

In my personal opinion, having children is not an entitlement - it is a privilege and a blessing -and comes with great responsibilities and obligations - and I think it is far too selfish and unfair to the child to deliberately bring a child into this world when you are on welfare and on your own.

 

I say deliberately - accidents happen of course - and I am only talking about deliberately getting pregnant in that situation - not where a woman gets pregnant while in a stable situation that later becomes unstable. As I mentioned I would hope that in the case of an accident such a woman would want the best interests of the child which to me would involve allowing the child to be adopted into a two parent stable home. That I have heard of and those women are brave and selfless in my opinion, are allowing their children a better chance at a fulfilling life, and are making it more possible for themselves to get off welfare and live independently.

 

So - no - if you are saying you support single welfare mothers deliberately having children or a child then we can agree to disagree. I thought you were interpreting what I wrote in a different way.

[Dako]

I agree.

I think most people are in awe of women who handle a divorce and parenting with skill. I sure am. Sometimes those marriages were hard to bear for the kids, and after the dust settles, the kids may get more attention and care than when tension reigned..

 

I still think it's good to have both parents around, if they aren't totally nuts.

[Batya33]

Me too! My close friend is going through that now- she has four kids. Unfortunately they are getting less attention since she had to go back to work and he remarried right away to someone with kids. The kids are suffering although my friend's heart is in the right place.

[annie24]

for the sake of my own SANITY, I would never want to be a single mother. I have no idea how they do it. Raising kids is hard work, even when there are two parents and they make good money. To do it on your own seems amazing and difficult. I'm not brave enough to attempt to raise kids on my own.