I wanna ask a Girl at work out

[cisco_phil]

Hi Guys,

 

I'm 20 and haven't had much luck in life with women/relationships and stuff, probably because I always seemed to have the maturity of someone 5 years younger than me in some ways but I'm starting to grow up now and have been very interested in women lately. I would say I'm averagely attractive - I'm tall, skinny/athletic blonde and look a little young for my age. Basically anyway I'm sick of not having a Girlfriend and want to do something about it - I've heard all the comments about if you go looking for it its never gonna find you but I've tried and I can't put my mind in that state!

 

Anyway, theres this girl I really like at work and would like to ask her out, or at least let her know I'm interested and find out if the feeling is mutual.

 

I've only actually seen her in person a couple of times for drinks with our common friends but we talk quite a bit on msn at work. Shes really attractive, italian born which I love and shes got a really nice personality - studenty and funny.

 

I am actually quite surprised shes single, I would expect blokes to be all over her but I guess I'm lucky they're not.

 

In terms of flirting, I don't do an awful lot, it's mainly friendly chatting and gossip, and the other way, I don't receive much, but it's probably because I'm not being too forward.

 

My only doubt that she might be put off is I've come accross as quite a p*sshead so far, and I know thats usually unatractive to women. However, I'm really a nice guy when I'm sober and I'm by no means an alcoholic or anything like that, she just saw me on some really mental nights out. I think she probably knows this kind of anyway so probably no biggy.

 

Anyway I want to start flirting more with her, and meet up with her soon and ask her out on a date but it might be difficult because shes not normally one to come out unless its a special occasion (shes busy and commutes a distance). I wish I could see her every day to talk in person but I work in a different building down the road and it's not like I have any business in there usually...

 

My god this is turning to be a masive post but I can't stop thinking about how I'm going to do this and just want to give you a full story.

 

Please, could anyone offer any advice as to how I could approach this, because I really don't wanna **** it up and I know there are plenty more fish in the sea and all that jazz but I wanna give this a good go because shes a really nice girl and hell I'm 20 I feel I should be used to all this dating /relationship/flirting effort,

 

Thanks in advance, I would really appreciate any (hundreds of responces!!!

 

Cheers,

 

Phil

[Day_Walker]

Well you want to start with the basics, get her number then see if she wants to go for drinks or coffee after work. It is really that simple, and if you do drink the idea isnt to actually drink its more to converse with her.

[Beec]

Use these words in order, and while doing it, pay attention to her body langauge. If her responses and body langauge are good, continue to the next line. If not, STOP.

 

1. I have fun talking with you; or you're fun to be around.

2. Maybe we should have talk some more, since we enjoy it.

3. Just ask, but ask her for coffee or a drink or something.

[heloladies21]

You gotta warm up the oven a bit so get her number. That way you can build up a little more rapport with her outside of work. Then you will have to try and notice an opportunity to ask her out. This is something you're gonna have to learn by intuition. There will just be a point in the conversation where it will feel right to suggest meeting up.

 

But for more help with girls, I highly suggest checking out

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and if you have some loot the ebooks and dvd's at

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link removed are very good. Get the free newsletters at the very least.

[cisco_phil]

ok so its like don't just pop the question in 'hey would you like to come to dinner with me sometime, it might be a bit much', instead do things gradually and look for feedback from her. I'm having trouble thinking exactly what to say to ask her out and I know the more you think the more you choke but I can't help but think anything would sound to cheesy!

 

do you think going for a drink/coffee is better than a full on meal or whatever?

[cisco_phil]

and how do i get her number without being too intrusive, i guess its not that big a thing:sad:

[heloladies21]

Honestly it's all in how you do it. Some people might say that dinner on the first date is too much, like you're being too needy/desperate/serious, but I've done it and gotten away with it. I just do it in an aggressive go getter style as opposed to a tentative needy style. The same two actions can have very different meaning by the style that you do it in.

 

I can't exactly have the conversation for you here because they're different everytime, but same thing as in suggesting a meet up. You're gonna be in conversation and the timing will feel just right that you want to ask for her number. like say you're talking about something on break, but you have to go to work. Nothing wrong with saying "Hey, I'm gonna talk to you later about this. Gimmie your number and I'll call you." it's not too intrusive, it's just a phone number. And don't be too sensitive to her reactions because she will sense this as she is doing the same thing and it will tip her off that you're insecure. Like if you call and leave a msg and she doesn't call back, it does not necessarily mean you've lost the battle, you just need to adjust your method.

[cisco_phil]

Yeah I'm getting the idea, my only concern is I might not have a big window to make a move and might not have the luxury of taking things slow. Like I said, I don't see her in person on a daily basis and if and when we are out together, it's gonna be a crowded environment where shes talking to loads of other people aswell and shes gonna be surrounded by all her girl mates like a ****ing perimeter. do you know what I mean? really i need to find away to speak to her more often in person on a 1 to 1, but I'm not sure how...

[cpc28655]

The only thing I have to add to this is to be careful. When workplace romances go bad, the effects on one's job can be beyond repair. Sometime people (including myself) have trouble understanding when things are not personal. Imagine having to reprimand your own gf/bf.

[Aurian]

You already chat on MSN don't you? Why not say something like "I'm having fun, want to chat some more after work at (Starbucks)?" And get her number there if it seems right.

[ticcan]

I've never heard a personality been described as "studenty"! Can you elaborate on that.